Belfast Gonzo

THE ceasefire watchdog – the Independent Monitoring Commission so hated by loyalists and republicans – may have a formal role when Stormont gets going again. Dick Kerr told the News Letter he believed there would be an active relationship between the commission and any Assembly. He said: “It seems both will impact on each other. Two of our four commissioners have a role as ombudsmen, if you will, to follow up on accusations against another parties.” Under guidelines published by …

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THE Donaldson family – who are as much a victim of circumstance as anyone in this whole sorry affair – have released a statement. Although they do not know who was responsible for Denis’ murder, they say the difficult situation which they had been put in was “the direct result” of the activities of the Special Branch and British Intelligence agencies. They also say they don’t believe the IRA was responsible for the murder, and ask for privacy. “We would …

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DEPRIVED loyalist areas are getting a £33m injection, so naturally everyone is complaining. Predictably, loyalists think it’s not enough, republicans think it’s at their expense and some others think it’s being allocated as a political bribe. Which it is, let’s face it……as there’s no hard evidence that ‘loyalist areas’ were ever discriminated against in the first place. It’s a reflection of the situation regarding peace funding from the EU, where the evidence points in the opposite direction. I don’t think …

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TWENTY Major – who cleared up at the Irish Blog awards recently, despite the ingrate’s non-appearance – thinks “TV3 news is f~$%&£* shit” after its tabloid coverage of the bus crash in Offaly yesterday in which a 15 year old boy was killed and at least 30 others injured, raising the issue of seatbelts again. But isn’t part of the answer to reducing causalties in this emotive and expensive issue not clearly staring us in the face…?In Northern Ireland, school …

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FIRST Donaldson conspiracy theory goes to Harpo, the hardline unionist from Ireland Uncensored (language warning) who reckons the former spy’s death is just too convenient. The Examiner notes that the Magill award for ‘Survivor of the Year’ was cancelled at the last moment. That was spotted by a commenter on El Matador’s blog, where he’s holding fire in the blame game. So’s Pakman. United Irelander is confused, as is feckoff.net. Over at A Tangled Web, David Vance wonders if Gerry …

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CHARITY worker Michael McGoldrick, whose son (also Michael), was shot dead by the LVF 10 years ago has died in Moldova. Mr McGoldrick is remembered as a humble man who forgave his son’s killers. “Bury your pride with my son,” he urged the warring sides in the Drumcree parade unrest. A friend of Michael’s once wrote on a website: “Michael still hopes to meet someday the father of the murdered founder of the LVF, Billy Wright – to shake his …

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THE Irish Special Branch informer who supplied the Real IRA with bugged cars in the run-up to the Omagh atrocity (but not in the atrocity itself) has been arrested in north Wales and is facing interrogation in Northern Ireland tonight. Paddy Dixon is believed to be under threat from dissident republicans. Coincidence, I’m sure! Belfast Gonzosluggerotoole.com

JUST in time for the annual parades and riots comes ‘Re-Route: The Marching Season Game’, covering “10 weeks during the 12th July Orange Marches in Northern Ireland when passions and sectarianism are inflamed”. Game inventor Dave explains that the crux of the game is in judicious playing of cards: The Loyalists play a March card in Armagh – will you, as the RUC player, allow it to go ahead and risk a Republican Riot; or do you Re-Route that March …

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A NEW website for children learning Ulster-Scots has just been launched. Jackie Morrison, principal of Balnamore Primary, believes teaching Ulster Scots to her pupils instils a sense of pride and “an ethos that celebrates cultural differences and in which pupils learn through desire”. It’s all a far cry from the days when the wains wur towl to quet ganshin’ lik culchies. Wonder if any of them will be downloading the website’s sound files onto their ayePod?PS: This isn’t another thread …

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THE Everything Ulster blogger was pleased to see the UDA mural beside Harryville’s Catholic church removed and replaced with an Ulster Scots design. It was certainly unusual to see photos of the parish priest and a UDA political rep chatting under the new mural – which, unless I’m mistaken (no live pics online yet), features the older Irish version of the Ulster flag – very different from the Northern Ireland flag normally favoured by unionists! Of course, the real test …

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SNEAKY Parades Commissioner and Portadown Orangeman Don Mackay (who used a false reference in his application form) has been copping flak from nationalists today for saying he will fight the cause of the loyal orders “from inside the fence”. Someone who might appreciate Mr Mackay’s ‘Agent Orange’ methods is former IRA member Robert McLoughlin, who was turned down for a job in the PSNI watchdog, the Police Ombudsman’s office. Like Mackay, McLoughlin is alleged to have lied on his application …

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IRISH President Mary McAleese visited my old school yesterday, and – perhaps surprisingly for the staunch Paisley heartland of Ballymena – there was no DUP protest against her presence. Another positive sign of the times was the way the Setanta Cup draw between Derry City FC and Linfield passed off peacefully, although nothing was left to chance.One thing I’m curious about though, was how the DUP’s representatives on the school’s board of governors regarded the school visit by McAleese. Was …

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THE end of Operation Banner, the British Army’s longest running operation, was announced last year, although the Government spin doctors might have thought it prudent to remind republicans of that fact now. What’s new are the details of the ‘normalisation’. So while there will be ‘troops out’ of the People’s Republic of South Armagh (new leader required), it’s not exactly the total removal of the ‘British presence in Ireland’. Belfast Gonzosluggerotoole.com

BY contrast to Martin McGuinness’s statement, Sinn Fein chief kite-flyer Mitchel McLaughlin softens the tone and doesn’t rule out a return to Stormont via the two governments’ roadmap. “If their proposals are about easing the DUP into a full executive, then we will give them due consideration,” the Foyle Assembly member said. “If we get a proposition which simply supports or concedes ground to the DUP and opponents of the Good Friday Agreement, then we are not interested.” Belfast Gonzosluggerotoole.com

THE Electoral Commission has revealed how much the parties spent in the last general election. Notable highlights include independent Kieran Deeny overspending by £1,400 and Sinn Fein’s incredibly low spend of just £44,000, a figure that I find very difficult to believe. Meanwhile, the UUP spent a quarter of a million quid to lose five of its six seats. Belfast Gonzosluggerotoole.com

DESPITE £40 million and lowering achievement targets, none of the Government’s goals in literacy have been achieved in Northern Ireland. In fakt, the sityuashun is wurse than evur. Belfast Gonzosluggerotoole.com

ONE of the more bizarre sights I witnessed in Belfast last year was that of a British Army Land Rover like this coming down the Antrim Road with what a bride and groom hanging out the top waving what looked like guns in the air. Now the company that brought you “the most unique travel experience available in Ireland” (in ex-British Army vehicles that served here at the height of the Troubles) offers you the use of a more spacious …

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TIMOTHY McAtackney, a student at the University of Ulster has won second prize in the Times Law Awards 2006. Timothy’s essay on the subject of “Terrorism v human rights: where do you draw the line?” can be read here, and draws heavily on his knowledge of the successes and failures of UK security measures in Northern Ireland. He argues that new terrorist organizations should be dealt with by removing those who cannot be reasoned with from society in a transparent …

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AFTER the recent attacks on foreign nationals in south Belfast, there was a protest in one loyalist area against alleged “anti-social behaviour” by those people. The SDLP has today likened the protesters to Nazis. Godwin’s Law is getting a tad overused in NI. Belfast Gonzosluggerotoole.com

HAS Tony Blair ‘done a McAleese’ by comparing ‘Protestant bigots’ with Islamic extremists? Are Ian Paisley and Abu Hamza really two sides of the same coin? In a major speech on foreign policy, Blair was making a point about how religious extremism can lead to terrorist acts, but the specific choice of analogy at this delicate point in the peace process might not be seen as the most helpful or balanced by unionists. Nationalists might also ask if such loyalist …

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