Weddings, hen parties, riots…

ONE of the more bizarre sights I witnessed in Belfast last year was that of a British Army Land Rover like this coming down the Antrim Road with what a bride and groom hanging out the top waving what looked like guns in the air. Now the company that brought you “the most unique travel experience available in Ireland” (in ex-British Army vehicles that served here at the height of the Troubles) offers you the use of a more spacious limousine… the Saracen, seen here almost in action!

  • Harry Flashman

    “Saracen! Saracen!” What’s wrong with you Belfast wans? Yeez call every Brit armoured car a “Saracen”.

    The photos you have are of the modern “Saxon” APC’s, not Saracens which haven’t graced our streets in two decades or more.

    We Derry wans could always tell the difference between a “Saracen” which was a six wheeler and always caused great delight and excitement among nine year old rioters and the common or garden “Pig” which seems to be what the wedding planners are offering. The Pig was the run of the mill ugly looking four wheeled armoured car but when the Saracen appeared you know real aggro was getting going, the distinctive whine of its engines as it revved up along Little James Street will be a memory that takes a long time to fade.

    Other beauties were the “Saladin” (funny how such Islamic names wouldn’t go down so well in today’s British Army) this was also a six wheeler but had a f**k off big gun on the top, and of course the little “Ferret” with it’s Dalek like turret.

    You poor Belfast people were stuck with those ghastly wee Shorland thingies. Don’t forget it took Chieftan tanks to break Free Derry and the armour on display that day included Saracens and Saladins still painted in desert colours fresh in from Aden.

    *Sniff* memories, memories.

  • The Pedant

    Harrumph!

    Anyone who advertises with “most unique” won’t be doing my wedding, that’s for sure.

  • TL

    I bet it smells really bad inside those things. What with no real air circulation and all…I’m sure they can’t scrub out the smell of sweaty solider.

  • nutjack

    woohoo, just what i need for my next fishing trip to Crossmaglen

  • RmcC

    TL

    “I bet it smells really bad inside those things. What with no real air circulation and all…I’m sure they can’t scrub out the smell of sweaty solider. ”

    Uh yes, but I doubt if the average Ulster bridegroom would notice. According to yesterday’s Irish News, almost half the people here (presumably the men, who account for almost half the poeple here) “own underwear which is five or more years old.

    “A third admit to spraying their pants with perfume and a filthy five per cent confessed to wearing the same underwear for six days before washing them it.

    “Four per cent of men reckon they have gone a week without changing their undies.

    “One in 20 frequently wear their dirty underwear inside out to get an extra day’s wear.

    “37 seven per cent of canny girls put ‘smelly’ things in their underwear drawer to keep their lingerie smelling sweet.

    “19 per cent of crafty men spray their underwear with their favourite aftershave to mask any odours.”

    So, TL, after all that I think I’d rather travel with a bunch of squaddies than ride in a spidemobile (aka a van, aka a breederwagon, aka as a people carrier) anywhere in Northern Ireland.

    Maybe the Irish could learn something from the immigrants from clean countries like Poland and Lithuania etc. Like how to turn on a bathroom tap for example 🙂

  • TL

    Wow those were some revolting stats. (Note to self: hose down any NI boys before becoming affectionate)

  • Belfast Gonzo

    I change my pants every month, whether I need to or not, I’ll have ye know.

  • TL

    But the question IS do you spray perfume ‘down there’ so as not to smell? THAT was the distressing part of the article.

  • SlugFest

    I didn’t know we were supposed to change our knickers. when did that rule start?

  • RmcC

    Whaddya mean, “our” knickers?

    You change your own knickers, slug, and I’ll change mine, thank you very much 🙂

  • SlugFest

    RmcC,

    well that takes all the fun out of it, doesn’t it? 😉

  • SlugFest

    getting back to the original post …

    not only is this incredibly tacky, i think it’s quite callous. i’m all for belfast moving on from the past, but it seems to me this is mocking just how much pain was caused throughout the years.

  • RmcC

    I agree.

  • Dread Cthulhu

    Just when I thought the American practice of “stretch” Humvees and extra-long SUV lmmos took the cake…