We have an Urgent Duty to LGBTQ+ people in this country…

Today I had two experiences that have deeply disturbed me.  The first was to listen to Jim Wells MLA on the BBC Nolan Show and the second to read former MLA Nelson McCausland’s article about a ‘flood of transgenderism’ in the Belfast Telegraph.  Both contributions displayed appalling ignorance as to the reality of lives for LGBTQ+ people in this country.

I am in my 30’s and came out when I was 17.  At that time, there were many more voices continually condemning LGBTQ+ people.  Pray no one finds out. Pray it goes away. These were the awful thoughts that filled my young adult mind. For too many LGBTQ+ people, the effect of our society’s shameful treatment of them on their mental health is an issue we have not yet even begun to recognise.  The trauma, self-harm and suicide of many members of the LGBTQ+ community is an appalling legacy of our history of terrible treatment of our fellow citizens.

Last year I had the privilege of addressing the first ever LGBTQ+ Youth Forum in Northern Ireland.  Over 100 young people aged 14-18 attended. It was shocking to hear the awful stories of bullying, discrimination and sense of shame, invisibility and stigma that so many of these young people felt.  However, I was also greatly inspired by their determination to celebrate who they are. One of the young people at the event described themselves as gender non-binary. I have to be honest, I didn’t know what the term meant.  It taught me two things: firstly, we all need to challenge our own perspectives and preconceptions. Secondly, if we accept that sexuality is a spectrum, we can accept that gender is too.  

Many young LGBTQ+ people are frequently told that they have ‘chosen’ their sexual orientation.  They have never done so. The only choice they have ever made was to accept who they are, for all that they are.  If someone whom I may perceive to look like a female tells me that they identify as and feel that they are a male, who am I or indeed anyone to tell them that they are not?  When such comments articulated today are in our mainstream media, what damage are we doing to our young people by telling them that their gender identity or expression is a ‘notion’ or a ‘choice’?  What impact is such ignorant and ill-informed debate having on our LGBTQ+ community? 

Two things are urgently required:

Firstly, we need an injection of compassion to our discourse. The question I would ask those who disagree with my argument: what kind of society do we want to be?  One that tells our young people that they can only be part of the society so long as they ‘conform’ with the serious mental health implications that entails. Or do we have the courage to say that this is a society in which we cherish and celebrate each and every person, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.  One in which we dare to imagine that we celebrate the person rather than our preoccupation with labelling people.  

Secondly, we need education: in our schools and our work places. Education is the antidote to ignorance.  We need to remove the stigma, mis-information and fear. We need to promote LGBTQ+ awareness and take proactive action to end bullying, discrimination and conscious and unconscious biases.  Too many of our young people are living in the shadows, in fear and alone. Politicians, civic & business leaders, media and all in public life have a responsibility to end LGBTQ+ discrimination and intolerance in all its forms.  This is not an issue for debate. It is a duty. And an urgent one.

Let us choose to build a society which is accepting, compassionate and celebratory – where no one is excluded on the basis of their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or sexual characteristics.  

Conor Houston, Businessman & Director ShoutOut.ie

Photo by Wokandapix is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA

Soapbox

This is a guest slot to give a platform for new writers either as a one off, or a prelude to becoming part of the regular Slugger team.