Zombie thread

It is election time and as such I wish to continue the tradition I began last May by discussing monsters. Last time it was werewolves: this year it is going to be zombies. I have discussed zombies before but I think we need another thread on this issue.

Whilst on holiday for the last couple of weeks I chanced (between breaks in Dave’s Top Gear coverage) upon Channel 5’s The Walking Dead. I have always been a fan of zombies and these are pretty good zombies. Essentially the series follows a group of Americans from Georgia who have survived a Zombie apocalypse and their adventures / getting bitten / eaten etc.

Zombies are great monsters. As a fundamentalist I get a bit worried about the sexual immorality of vampires: Buffy degenerated into occultish stuff towards the end as well. Even werewolves are a bit problematic: much as I personally would like to be a werewolf and wander around West Fermanagh howling I have some concerns. Would I be morally responsible for killing people in my wolf state? My suggestions about being a peaceful 8 foot tall hairy bipedal wolfperson were rejected last year. Zombies, however, are simple. They are dead and have been reanimated by Zombie Virus (Solanum for those medically inclined). As such they are not morally culpable for killing and eating people and the living are not culpable for killing them (though I would argue against eating zombies).

As an aside the best zombies are slow moving and stupid: I am less keen on cleverer ones such as in I am Legend or 28 days later (otherwise a most excellent film).

We have had zombie films set in America and also GB but what about the effects of a zombie apocalypse here in UIster? Personally I am in favour of retreating to an island.. The assorted islands in Lough Erne would also be useful and I intend moving to Devenish at the first sign of zombie trouble. The round tower would provide a further final refuge if things got very bad. Furthermore if I became a werewolf I could kill zombies more easily without any subsequent moral qualms. However, biting zombies is probably inadvisable: there is inadequate research at the moment to assess whether lycanthropism is protective against solanum.

However, the zombie apocalypse would not solve all our problems. I fear that some liberals might suggest that unionist / nationalist issues be forgotten in humanity’s attempts to fight the zombie menace. This would clearly be a plot by the other side. Indeed themuns (depending on which side you are on) might use the minor issue of the world being taken over by zombies as a cover to win the much more important issues of Ulster / Irish freedom. Alternatively the Alliance Party might have created Solanum to try to force us all together – it is worth noting that there are a number of doctors in Alliance and as such I think this may well be the most likely explanation.

Anyhow I am interested in hearing other people’s views on the zombie peril and how we can counter it whilst keeping traditional orange / green rivalries intact.

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  • Nordie Northsider

    Turgon – I’m sure that the 28 Days/Weeks Later creatures were zombies in the strictest sense of the word. There’s obviously a need for some sort of validation/accreditation system.

  • Mac

    I’m a big zombie fan myself Turgon, I’m pretty sure there’s a local indie film based with a zombie outbreak during the 12th.

    I would recommend World War Z, by Mel Brooks’ son Max, it’s a collection of ‘eye witness’ accounts/recollections a decade after a global zombie pandemic.

    Armagh is mentioned in passing once or twice in the book, I feel that a certain walled city in the North West would have made a great chapter in the book, imagine the catholic population of the bogside, creggan etc retreating inside the walls that contain the fountain. It would make for the basis of an interesting scenario for a writer to expand on.

  • Diomedes
  • Tochais Síoraí

    Why not just do what’s always been done and elect them?

  • Fearglic

    Zombieland is class. I never understood why zombies are always stupid. Maybe I’m one of them??

  • JR

    Zombies are my least favourite of all the horror beasties. They lack any personality and to be honest zombie movies remind me too much of work.

    Your Island idea is a good one though. I don’t think I have ever seen a zombie swim and I am sure they are too stubid to opperate boats.

  • Mac

    “They lack any personality and to be honest zombie movies remind me too much of work. ”

    The appeal of zombies is different from ennui filled vampires or remorse racked lycanthropes, it’s the effect their presence creates on human behaviour.
    Under siege on an Island like Turgon suggests, would you turn to cannibalism once the food runs out? Even before you got to that stage, how would a small band of survivors govern themselves? One man one vote? The guy with the gun makes the rules?
    Essentially it’s siege/blitz spirit but with an opponent that is more ‘elemental’ in nature and cannot be reasoned with.

  • Nordie Northsider

    But didn’t I read something about packs of wild dogs on those islands on Lough Erne? Last thing you want is to escape the zombies and end up with rabies.

  • JR

    I think the system of governance would be he who gets there first with a gun is king. Unless someone arrives with a bigger more powerful gun he stays king. (yes I do believe that in this one instance monarchy is appropriate).

    On the food issue, You are surrounded by great fishing.

  • JR

    On second thoughts, it could get a bit “tresure of sierra madra”

  • babyface finlayson

    There is a fine movie called Dead Snow, about Zombie/Nazis. I believe Godwin’s Law can now be invoked to kill this thread. Do not attempt to bring it back to life.

  • Cynic2

    “I wish to continue the tradition I began last May by discussing monsters”

    Elected or unelected?

  • Greenflag

    ‘an opponent that is more ‘elemental’ in nature and cannot be reasoned with.’

    Sounds like the average die hard NI voter 😉

    There are NO zombies . There NEVER were any Zombies. It’s complete and utter shite . When you’re dead you’re dead and you’re not coming back -ever -never and that’s just as well .

    If any would be Zombies ever try to venture up my driveway let them be warned that I shoot to kill .Any who survive the first barrage will be shot again , and again until the job is done.

    The same treatment awaits purveyors of false prosperity promising religions , jehovah’s witnesses , scientologists , catholic priests , protestant ministers and rabbis . Imans will be singled out for special treatment -They will be offered ‘pork’ as their last meal before dispatch . Lest I be thought a heartless anti religion fanatic I hasten to assure readers that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for TDs of any and all parties in the Dail bar one or two notable exceptions to make it half way to my front door without being bazooked 😉 Ditto for Westminster . I’ll go easy on the NI Assembly as they’re still only probationary politicians 😉

  • Rory Carr

    JR’s revelation that Zombies remind him too much of work is possibly the most pertinent comment to be made in this thread. The zombies portrayed in the tv series The Walking Dead and indeed all recent cinematic portrayals of zombies post- George A. Romero and Night of the Living Dead are an aberration from what was understood to be zombieism as practised in Haitian Vodun culture whereby, as revealed by Harvard ethnobotanist, Wade Davis who presented a pharmacological case for zombies in two books, The Serpent and the Rainbow (1985) and Passage of Darkness: The Ethnobiology of the Haitian Zombie (1988) “a living person can be turned into a zombie by two special powders being entered into the blood stream (usually via a wound). The first, coup de poudre (French: ‘powder strike’), includes tetrodotoxin (TTX), a powerful and frequently fatal neurotoxin found in the flesh of the pufferfish (order Tetraodontidae). The second powder consists of dissociative drugs such as datura. Together, these powders were said to induce a death-like state in which the will of the victim would be entirely subjected to that of the bokor. Davis also popularized the story of Clairvius Narcisse, who was claimed to have succumbed to this practice.

    The process described by Davis was an initial state of death-like suspended animation, followed by re-awakening—typically after being buried—into a psychotic state. The psychosis induced by the drug and psychological trauma was hypothesised by Davis to re-inforce culturally-learned beliefs and to cause the individual to reconstruct their identity as that of a zombie, since they ‘knew’ they were dead, and had no other role to play in the Haitian society. Societal reinforcement of the belief was hypothesized by Davis to confirm for the zombie individual the zombie state, and such individuals were known to hang around in graveyards, exhibiting attitudes of low affect.”

    Effectively zombies were no less or no more than slave labour and the practice of such enslavement by the Haitian bokurs (witchdoctors) so excited US government agencies that poor old Haiti has been a experimental laboratory for much of its most nefarious designs ever since including the processing of the raw opium flown from the Golden Triangle in Air America planes (for which purpose Air America was established) before being shipped into the black ghettos of the US in order to maintain the enslavement of the African-American poor and, of course, the early experimentation with the AIDS virus which in its early days was often referred to as the Triple H (Haitians, homosexuals and haemophiliacs) disease after those who first showed the symptoms.

  • Dewi

    Rory!! What?? You used to be funny!

  • pippakin

    I usually get to the north a couple or more times a year and I have to say that some of the more die hard areas remind me of brain dead people, which is how I think of Zombies. I mean who is so proud of their flag that they paint it all down the street so everyone can walk all over it…and where else on the globe would you find people willing to live in shite estates on the grounds that its their shite and they are gonna keep it? I think the island idea is a good one but, here’s a thought, are we not an island?

    I rest my case…and look forward to the book and the film of the book and the sequel closely followed by the prequel.

  • RepublicanStones

    We could go down the route of analysing how Zombies represent unthinking consumerism, nicely juxtaposed in Dawn Of The Dead where we have the survivors ensconcing themselves in a shopping center and gorging all round them. Or how Romero’s original had subtle undertones of fear of ‘the communist threat’.

    But that would take the fun out of them.

    The recent development of the thinking/running Zombies, whilst wholly sacrilegious to the original concept, has breathed new life (sorry) into the genre. Of course Mrs Stones refuse point blank to watch any horror movies. Which occasionally has turned me into a a ‘billy-no-mates’ at the cinema, to be rightly ridiculed. but she did indeed make an exception, to sit down and watch this new series on TV. Just because some fella named ‘Egg’ was in it.

    My favourite Zombie movie is i fear not a Zombie movie at all, alas….


  • Scáth Shéamais

    I fear that some liberals might suggest that unionist / nationalist issues be forgotten in humanity’s attempts to fight the zombie menace.

    The film was called “Battle of the Bone” and was set in North Belfast of the 12th of July.

    (Can you feel all those eyes rolling in unison?)

  • You might also wish to investigate the novels of my old mucker Wayne Simmons