It is election time and as such I wish to continue the tradition I began last May by discussing monsters. Last time it was werewolves: this year it is going to be zombies. I have discussed zombies before but I think we need another thread on this issue.
Whilst on holiday for the last couple of weeks I chanced (between breaks in Dave’s Top Gear coverage) upon Channel 5’s The Walking Dead. I have always been a fan of zombies and these are pretty good zombies. Essentially the series follows a group of Americans from Georgia who have survived a Zombie apocalypse and their adventures / getting bitten / eaten etc.
Zombies are great monsters. As a fundamentalist I get a bit worried about the sexual immorality of vampires: Buffy degenerated into occultish stuff towards the end as well. Even werewolves are a bit problematic: much as I personally would like to be a werewolf and wander around West Fermanagh howling I have some concerns. Would I be morally responsible for killing people in my wolf state? My suggestions about being a peaceful 8 foot tall hairy bipedal wolfperson were rejected last year. Zombies, however, are simple. They are dead and have been reanimated by Zombie Virus (Solanum for those medically inclined). As such they are not morally culpable for killing and eating people and the living are not culpable for killing them (though I would argue against eating zombies).
As an aside the best zombies are slow moving and stupid: I am less keen on cleverer ones such as in I am Legend or 28 days later (otherwise a most excellent film).
We have had zombie films set in America and also GB but what about the effects of a zombie apocalypse here in UIster? Personally I am in favour of retreating to an island.. The assorted islands in Lough Erne would also be useful and I intend moving to Devenish at the first sign of zombie trouble. The round tower would provide a further final refuge if things got very bad. Furthermore if I became a werewolf I could kill zombies more easily without any subsequent moral qualms. However, biting zombies is probably inadvisable: there is inadequate research at the moment to assess whether lycanthropism is protective against solanum.
However, the zombie apocalypse would not solve all our problems. I fear that some liberals might suggest that unionist / nationalist issues be forgotten in humanity’s attempts to fight the zombie menace. This would clearly be a plot by the other side. Indeed themuns (depending on which side you are on) might use the minor issue of the world being taken over by zombies as a cover to win the much more important issues of Ulster / Irish freedom. Alternatively the Alliance Party might have created Solanum to try to force us all together – it is worth noting that there are a number of doctors in Alliance and as such I think this may well be the most likely explanation.
Anyhow I am interested in hearing other people’s views on the zombie peril and how we can counter it whilst keeping traditional orange / green rivalries intact.
This author has not written a biography and will not be writing one.