Nordie OUTRAGE: Our speciality…

If there’s no good news about, why not make some up… The Donegal Dollop reports on continuing Nordie OUTRAGE

Unionists have yet to react to the following car models also set for the 2013 market:

Ford RA
Toyota Avengesis
Honda Civic Unrest

-All of which are planned to be advertised using a new song called “The Car My Father Drove”.

The nationalist community is also said to be up in arms over inappropriate marketing in Northern Ireland and is calling for the removal of all Oranges from Northern Irish shelves, Queen Cakes and the boy-band, Union J.

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  • Mick, you’ll be buying your significant other a Dacia Duster 🙂

  • Ulster Press Centre

    Is the suffering caused by Provisional IRA catholic fundamentalist terrorism in Northern Ireland something to make jokes about?

    Show some respect for God’s sake.

  • FDM

    How in God fearing Ulster can Unionists object to the new Kia?

    It is a gas-electric hybrid.

    Sure hasn’t it been their fervent wish to gas the Provos and/or make them ride the lightning?

  • Turgon

    Actually this is a common problem in the automobile industry. Since cars are now sold internationally companies spend considerable time and energy trying to ensure car names are not insults, swear words or cause offence in assorted languages or cultures. Exactly the same problem occurs for the pharmaceutical industry.

  • Pete Baker

    Some sensible comments from Stephen Kitson, corporate communications director at Kia Motors UK, in the latest BBC report on the Kia ‘Provo’ show car.

    “This car is a showcase, it’s a little bit of frivolity, it’s for a motor show in Switzerland designed by an Italian at a design studio in Frankfurt,” he said.

    “The name of the car is chosen for its debut by the designer.”

    Mr Kitson, who lived in Northern Ireland himself as a child, said the Provo name actually comes from the Italian word prova, meaning test or trial, or prototype.

    “It’s a play on the Italian word and it was also linked to the desire to provoke emotions, to provoke aspirations, to make the car exciting and fun,” he said.

    We’re sorry if anybody takes offence at it, but this car is not about Northern Ireland.

    “It won’t have the slogan No Surrender on the boot, we’re not going to do a Free Derry special edition or anything of that nature. [added emphasis]

    “It’s to show what Kia’s designers are thinking, to gauge opinions and get feedback on the car, not the name.”

    Indeed.

  • FDM

    Are there any provisional orders in for this car?

  • Turgon,

    The biggest mistake I heard about was the Chevy Nova back in the 60s or 70s. They used it worldwide but in Spanish American No va translates as doesn’t go. Had to rename it there.

  • Rory Carr

    No, no, Joe. That No va story is just another urban myth and in fact the Chevvy Nova sold quite well throughout Latin America.

  • OK, Rory. I guess I fell for it. I checked Snopes and they confirm your view.

  • Coll Ciotach

    Mick – it was not your da’s – it was Johnstons

  • Zig70

    Mitsubishi pajero – Spanish for wanker.

  • Drumlins Rock

    meanwhile in the real world Kia have got publicity that could not be bought in a million years.

    I would hope to see a few nice wee convertibles donated as official cars for the 12th of July next year as a sign of appreciation.

  • They’ll be the first to go on the burning barricades when UPC’s revolution comes along in a few months.

  • chlorine gardener

    I’d just like to add my (off – topic) appreciation for the wonderful work of Ulster Press Centre.

    Their shrill and hysterical brand of satire is quite the source of mirth and laughter – allied to their admiral, though stubborn refusal to break cover and admit that it’s all a hilarious act of parody.

    My hat is doffed to him (correct me if I have misidentified you, and you are in fact a comedienne).

  • Jack2

    Quick lets get these changed.

    Ford Rangers(s)
    Vauxhall Adam(s)
    Mitsubishi Colt 45

    / I’ll get my coat.

  • MrPMartin

    The Provo was take off the road after its wheels came off after which it was dismantled for spare parts.

    There are Provo appreciation clubs for the older drivers who remember how little petrol it took to get it going. The Provo was a sporty little number, outmanoeuvring larger lumbering vehicles such as the Brit. However it design was flawed in that it carried a good deal of passengers some of whom were paid to drive The Brit.

    The Provo had a nimble gearbox which enabled many sudden and expected gear changes on many occasions- quite handy in getaway situations from bank heists. In fact it’s final spin was a valedictory and highly profitable one from Donegal Square West. That drive broke many traffic violations but Blair gave them the nod.

    The Provo is no more but a number of tribute models have sprung up since. No one apparently wants to be seem driving them as the old drivers are busy elsewhere being driven in Skodas

  • Actually, Kia have had very little publicity outside a backwoods second-tier region with a population less than half of a typical Chinese provincial capital nobody has ever heard of.

    I look forward to the same faux outrage being directed at the State of Utah for calling one of its largest cities Provo, and Dutch anarchists for calling their most significant political movements Provo.

  • David Crookes

    KIa have made a gesture of respect to Northern Ireland’s glorious car-making past by naming their new vehicle OLEANDER.

    The name suggested by Campbell-McCrea Associates (YUSLABBERIN) was rejected as insufficiently user-friendly.

  • Droch_Bhuachaill

    catholic fundamentalist terrorism?

    Good one, must write that down.

  • BarneyT

    I hear the Landrover Defender is being pulled!

    Quite simply this is just nonsense and yet another embarrassing moment for Northern Ireland. On this basis the word “provisional” should be removed from our vernacular. Do 17 year old loyalists say, they have a driving license but have not yet passed their test or are they happy to state that they have a provisional license.

    If anything it was the IRA who shunned the word provisional as it did not reflect their status beyond the initial split, however knowing this the authorities and their rivals continued in its use as they knew it irritated the IRA. So one could argue (using the same mindless logic) that Campbell is aligning with the IRA on the use and application of this word whereas he should applaud its use as a source of irritation. Just a perspective.

    Just daft. Just a bunch of feckin Ritmos! Yugo figure! Passats it all about! They havent got a Cleo. Ferrari I can see, they are just trying to Dodge the issue. Renault?

  • BarneyT

    Listen…in all seriousness…if you get a chance to buy this car, stay away. Whilst it goes like a bomb, I hear the brakes are a bit sticky!

  • David Crookes

    …..and the roof in the trial model had a big hole in it.

  • 6crealist

    Gerry Lynch @ 9.29am – comment of the year.

  • Back in the early eighties in America there was a pension plan called the Independent Retirement Allowance they used to advertise it on huge billboards , dont know if you can still cash in your IRAs.

  • Eamon,
    I think you might be thinking about Individual Retirement Accounts and they are still alive and well (sort of) in the USA.

  • Well Mister Joe it was 1982 the old memory not working as well , amazed they’re still around.

  • 6crealist

    Ira is a pretty common boy’s name also – Jews, eh?

  • Kevsterino

    I don’t recall if it was a spoof, but I have a dim memory of an English paper being upset that McDonalds offered there employees a payroll deduction for their IRA.

  • tacapall

    Ulster’s role in the slave trade

    Charles McGarel, a leading light of his day in Larne society.

    According to the records, he owned close to 2,500 human beings.

    When they were set free, he successfully claimed compensation from British taxpayers for his losses.

    A businessman with holdings on demerara sugar plantations, he is such an important local figure that streets in Larne such as McGarel Gardens and McGarel Court still bear his name.

    He funded the construction of Larne’s town hall and a plaque had recently been affixed in his memory by the Larne and District Historical Society,

    Asked if, in light of the revelations, the council should reconsider its plaque commemorating him or the bust on display in the town hall, the deputy mayor said:

    “I think it’d be too early to make that decision. We’d need to look into how he dealt with the slaves. Two-thousand-five-hundred is a large number.

    And from what I’ve heard, and what we know, he was very generous and, you know, sort of a positive character.

    I don’t think we’d make a decision in haste.”

    Irish people couldn’t possibly be offended by a person of such generosity.

  • David Crookes

    Once I asked a ‘mixed’ local group of singers and instrumentalists to perform the Icelandic hymn ‘Öldungar Júða annars dags’. The first two bars of the melody are the same as the first two bars of the British national anthem. Several faces froze and thawed again in the space of a few seconds.

    When I was a boy there was a leading Orangeman in the Mournes whose Chistian name was Ira.

  • glenda lough

    I have it on good authority that the Kia Provo originates in the Feen Yan province of South Korea.

  • David Crookes

    No wonder we lost the Vietnamonagh War, Glenda. Here’s another one for the C’mere Youse:

    “The Ovorp Game Engine is: Client/Server Networking, Object Management, Full Hardware Acceleration, Raytraced Collision Detection, Native C#/.Net Game Objects, Cross-Platform, Scalable from Pong to a MMPOG, MIT Licensed to encourage commercial development.”

    Ovorp? Youse can’t fool us. We know what youse are at. Spellin words beckwards. Quare comeejins. Our letter o complaint’ll be with yer Heid Yin at eight o’clock the marra mornin.

  • David Crookes

    Anyone can make a mistake. Copy and paste the following line into Google if you want to listen to Joe Biden.

    HILARIOUS: Women take Joe Biden’s shotgun advice

  • UserAinm

    A good day at the office Gregory, time well spent, well done.

  • When Chevrolet attempted to develop sales of their best selling “Nova” in Argentina they came up against the Spanish language. No Va translates as “goes nowhere.”

    But wait, that was an urban myth…….

  • FDM

    It seems that most Provos turned to knitting post conflict.

    http://www.provocraft.com/products/index.products.php?cl=knifty%20knitter

  • David Crookes

    Les Tricoteuses. Ghoulishness a speciality.

  • BarneyT

    Back to a serious point on this particular issue (oh and Glenda Lough I will be stealing that Feen Yan one trust me)

    We need to take a stand against this sort of nonsense. Clearly if a car brand equates to something that is genuinely inappropriate, we should ask for a revision or a rethink due to local sensitivities, however if we let this particular inciident pass and pander to those that seem programmed to respond in a particular manner, where will it stop.

    We have to be less sensitive, particularly when there is a rational explanation for the name and its derivation. In this case we should accept that the Kia Provo is just an accident and go with it…knowing it does not reference the PIRA. That should be the end of it. Maturity is required.

    There is scope for clarity on matters like this. What if someone elected to brand a range of cars based on well known collective nouns…..Fiat Flock, the Huyandi Herd, the Maseratti Murder….

    I was going to suggest that Murder would be a candidate for sensorship…but on reflection, it cant be as its a valid term.

    We should develop the resilience of west Belfast pacifist Unix Database adminstrator. They have to log on to prod databases and issue kill commands.

  • sonofstrongbow

    There will always be those ready for a cheap quote. 24 hour news, or pseudo news, probably spends considerable time trying to find nonsense to hang a headline on.

    What could be better than bringing an ‘outrage’ to the attention of someone who is primed to be outraged at the drop of a hat?

    Politicians are a good target for the meedja cold-call given their addiction to issuing ‘press releases’ at every turn.

    Only a few weeks ago VW were claimed to be in a tizzy over the name of the Touareg model because of the role of the Touareg people in aggression in Mali. Another manufactured kerfuffle, diverting for a couple of seconds.

  • Drumlins Rock

    The Japaneese wanting to cash in on dissaffected loyalists are releasing their new “Red Honda Ulster”.

    I know, terrrible and stolen too, but jsut had too.

    SoS, always liked the Touareg name, and a fasinating people group too, its a shame they bunked up with the Islamists in Mali, did their case no good to put it mildly. Met a few on tours in Morocco, they seem so aloof from everything around them.

  • sonofstrongbow

    DC,

    Yes I’ve come across Touareg on a trip to Africa. I recall the guide telling me that in Touareg society it is the men who wear the veil and not women. Didn’t see any females so can’t say if that’s true – I just thought the ‘veil’ was. practical thing to protect the face.

    Good for the Japanese 🙂

    I’ve been to Japan a couple of times. Had a can of the local sports drink. It’s called ‘Sweat’. Nice.

  • David Crookes

    Nordie Outrage = Ride on Touareg

  • BarneyT

    I see honda are going to release a rival to the kia provo…its called the Red Honda Ulster

  • Is plagiarism ok on Slugger?

    Drumlins Rock (profile)
    7 March 2013 at 5:13 pm

  • BarneyT

    oops…eagerness to share blinded me to the history…ok here’s my own….with the new honda drive on the left or the right up still to the white line 🙂

  • BarneyT

    stick!!!!