“Until further notice (see Preamble post-script), the Houses of the Oireachtas shall have a room containing an elephant.”

As the eurozone slides into the abyss, there’s just time for some light relief – courtesy of Frank McNally’s Irishman’s Diary in the Irish Times.

Article 6 The name of the State is Eire, or in the English language, Ireland. The Government may, however, enter into periodic commercial agreements with regard to naming rights. Thereafter, the State may be known as “Ireland, brought to you in association with Microsoft”, or a like designation.

Article 7 The national flag of Ireland shall be a tricolour of green, white, and orange; the green and orange representing the island’s two traditions, and the white representing potential advertising space (see Article 6).

Article 8. 1 . There shall be a President of Ireland, also called Uachtarán na hÉireann. Unless we have another election campaign like 2011, that is, in which case we shall consider reintroducing a monarchy and offering the crown to the descendants of King Zog of Albania.

2. The President shall have the powers designated in the original Bunreacht na hÉireann, save that the Council of State shall henceforth be asked to keep a close eye on his poetry output.

Article 9 The Oireachtas shall consist of the President, the Dáil, and the Seanad, and shall have the same powers as defined in the original Bunreacht na hÉireann, except where these are limited by Article 10, below.

Article 10 Until further notice (see Preamble post-script), the Houses of the Oireachtas shall have a room containing an elephant.

Heh.  Read the whole thing.

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  • AGlassOfHine

    Heh.

  • Neil

    I know that flatlining Irish economy is pretty funny, having to cut their growth forecast down to a poxy 2.8%. If only they could be more like the UK with a massive 0.7% if things go well. Not much to be slapping your back about given the debt to GDP ratio forecast for both countries is about the same.

  • Pete Baker

    Neil

    Go and read the whole thing.

  • Greenflag

    @ Neil .

    ‘If only they could be more like the UK with a massive 0.7% if things go well. Not much to be slapping your back about given the debt to GDP ratio forecast for both countries is about the same.’

    Well Bloomberg suggests that the UK should take after the Swedish model.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-11-09/sweden-prime-minister-proving-tough-love-of-banks-a-model-for-debt-crisis.html

    Heres a flavourful small extract ,

    Sweden now wants to enforce stricter capital standards than those set by the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision, and plans to introduce the measures ahead of Basel’s 2019 deadline.
    Reinfeldt said maintaining income equality through all economic cycles is key to preventing imbalances that disrupt growth. The government also is shelving state assets sales after reaching its target for reducing debt, he said.
    Even after four rounds of income-tax cuts, Sweden has the second-highest tax burden as a percentage of GDP after Denmark, and one of the world’s highest levels of income equality, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.

    “A good society does not have huge differences,” Reinfeldt said. “If you build trust among people, and I think you need that, then they shouldn’t get far apart from each other.”

    The good news is that Prime Minister Reinfeldt is a Swedish Conservative .

    Somehow I can’t imagine any British or Irish Tory making such comments . I suppose the Swedish Social Democrats must be virtual communists ?

  • Pete Baker

    Greenie

    We’re in the humour category.

    With Frank McNally’s “go at devising a new, updated Bunreacht na hÉireann.”

    If you want to talk economics, take it to an appropriate post. i.e. NOT this one.

  • Greenflag

    Just one criticism of McNally’s suggested constitutional revamp and in particular on Article 18 .

    Article 18

    ‘ Titles of ignobility may occasionally be conferred on members of the Oireachtas, up to and including the award of a BHO (“Bollocks of the Highest Order”).’

    The main problem here is the fallacy of composition conundrum . In this case the BHO suggestion is in these trying times not of much more value than Wood’s ha’pence was three centuries ago.

    For when all our politicians are so obviously not just BHO’s but of a world class advanced degree then this ignoble title is nothing special.

    Back to redrafting for McNally methinks.

  • Greenflag

    And that Preamble looks very dodgy .

    ‘ and also following consultations with Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, the main Hindu deities, and Richard Dawkins’

    Whatever about consulting with Richard Dawkins the rest of that consultory group seem very nebulous to say the least .Not until McNally can provide scientific evidence of actual discussions with said personages should this preamble be accepted . And anyway why did’nt McNally listen to the contributions of the great Dagda or Baal or Odin or of the rest of the free market gods such as Alan Greenspan or yer man Hayek ?

    He’s trying to pull a fast one that McNally

  • AGlassOfHine

    Humour will not be tolerated on Slugger !

  • Humour is well tolerated when a blog is in the Humour Category. It is not well tolerated in serious blogs; I have a few yellow cards to attest to that.

  • Tomas Gorman

    Excellent reference Pete. I enjoyed thoroughly the homour with more than a tinge of depression below.

  • IrelandNorth

    I believe Dev’s ‘Little Blue Book’ (Bunreacht na h’Eireann/Constitution of Ireland, 1937 as amended) was deliberately intended to be vague and obscure. The ‘terminological inexactitudes’ (Plato’s Republic) are extant. There is no overt reference to the Republic or Northern Ireland, but only to an Ireland generically. An island of Ireland (the nation?) and two jurisdictions (states?). Reference to a national parliament which is in fact the state legislature is disconcerting though. It’s problematical using geographical designation to describe political entities. Should the south not reciprocate theier estranged first cousing up north by calling the ‘repubic’ South-East Western Ireland.

  • IrelandNorth

    The designation ‘Northern Ireland’ would have been ‘terminologicaly exact’ if the new northern state had accepted all nine counties of Ulster, instead of excluding the three – Donegal, Cavan and Monaghan, because their Catholic majorities which would have voted it out of existance – Churchill/Birkenhead’s gameplan? North-Eastern Ireland would be more exact, surely. Is the state of Northern Ireland, therefore, not a neo-provincial statlet, like the southern one is a neo-republican proto-unionist one.

  • IrelandNorth

    Of course, with the Constitutinal convention planned for the Republic of South-East Western Ireland over the the coming decade of centenaries, I would bet my Confirmation money that Blue (EU) Unionists will have both green (Irish) unionists and orange (British) unionist back in a mutually beneficial ‘Tally hoe/jolly hockeysticks’ Commonwealth of Nations – a United States of Great Britain and Ireland. After all, the European Empire will use previous imperial chariot tracks as did the British and [unholy] Romans.