Euro crisis: As seen by…

I’m not sure where he found it, but Philip Lane has posted this amusing graphic at the Irish Economy blog as the EU’s existential crisis continues.  Heh.

  • Alias

    That’s brilliant.

  • This looks like a nice variant of the old one, which went something like:

    European Heaven: the policeman is British, the lover is Italian, the cook is French, the engineer is German and it is all governed by the Swiss.

    European Hell: the policeman is German, the lover is Swiss, the cook is British, the engineer is French and it is all governed by the Italians.

    There was an expanded version which came printed on a coffee-mug, that worked in the Irish. Anyone still have it?

  • Greenflag

    @malcolm redfellow,

    Have never seen the coffee one but I do recall these favourites ‘

    Canada could have enjoyed :
    British democracy
    French culture and
    American know how

    instead it ended up with

    British know how
    French democracy
    American culture .

    Not to be outdone in the matter of national stereotypes the old Warsaw Pact or COMECON states had their own version which was that COMECOM was based on seven fundamental principles

    The German sense of humour ,
    Polish hard work ,
    Russian good neighbourliness
    Czech courage
    The widespread knowledge of the Hungarian language
    Romanian Socialist Solidarity
    And Bulgarian intelligence .

    Somewhere I have a newspaper article broadsheet which over a complete page has a grid format with each insert describing what country A thinks of A(of itself ) and then of B, C, D E etc

    The listing was for about 15 or so countries and it included Germany , France , UK , Italy etc alas Ireland was not included nor Scotland . Alas the whole thing was in German and I meant to translate it at some point . Maybe I’ll get around to it someday although it’s probably a bit out of date by now .

  • Very amusing.

    I wonder what a 5th row and column would have looked like for the UK so I propose a competition.

    Assume that the columns are A,B,C,D and E and the rows 1,2,3,4 and 5. The UK “sees” through the 5th row and is “seen” by others in the E column.

    What would be in the pictures in the cells marked 5A, 5B, 5C, 5D, 1E,2E,3E,4E and 5E?

  • Seymour Major @ 10:16 am:

    Nice challenge!

    I assume we all know Yanko Tsvetkov (“Crazee name! Crazee guy!”) has a take on just this?

    Ahem! Not “safe for work-place”. Guaranteed to offend.

  • Greenflag

    Hilarious -Yanko Tsetkov the Vulgarian Bulgarian who might remember the answer to the oft put question in former times which was

    ‘Why do Bulgarian militiamen walk in threes ‘ ?

    to which the answer was

    Because one knows how to read , the second knows how to write and the third is there to keep an eye on these two dangerous intellectuals !

    As to Seymour’s challenge who would dare ? But that chap Robbie Burns certainly knew his ‘human nature ‘ for I remember from the grid column stereotypes I mentioned above that one common factor which they all (every country bar none ) had in common was that that none of them possessed Burn’s oft quoted and lamentably absent gift .

    ‘O that God the gift would gie us; to see ourselves as others see us.”

    For they all described their home country in terms that were positive -noble and good whereas the neighbours and especially the nearest neighbours get an awful slagging 😉

  • Greenflag

    And while we’re on the topic

    Heard in Drumcree after the ‘marching ‘fiasco which went on for years and years and may still be going on .

    Question : Define ego ?

    Answer : ‘ It’s the Orangeman we all carry inside us!

    More up to date albeit in a then and now fashion would be

    Then 1968 :

    One Czech to another in Prague after the 1968 invasion .

    “Czechoslovakia is the most neutral state in the world ‘!

    ‘Why ?

    It doesn’t even intervene in it’s own affairs ‘

    Now 2011 Dublin:

    Overheard in May 2011 shortly after the new government had been elected . Minister Noonan was called to the phone A Monsieur Trichet wished to speak to him .

    ‘Yes , Monsieur said Noonan respectfully , Yes, yes of course——- , yes ,—- Yes of course—– yes I will see to that —–yes yes of course – certainly -yes again -again yes – No – not at all – goodbye -au revoir .

    Having overheard Noonan’s side of the conversation a horrified Gilmore comes up to him and asks:

    ‘Michael , you actually said no to him . What did he want ?

    ‘Nothing ‘ replied Noonan . He just asked me if I was’nt ashamed of saying ‘yes ‘ all the time ‘

  • Back in the early ’80s, when entryism and similar plagues were all the rage in London Labour, I asked a fellow councillor (definitely not a fellow traveller) from Islington what the Labour Group was like there.

    A grimace, then the gem: “It’s like Bulgaria. Without the laughs.”

  • …the neighbours and especially the nearest neighbours get an awful slagging

    And were cannibals to boot!

  • I’m trying to coin a term here perixenophobia (“distaste for nearby nations”):

    Sometimes the phenomenon works to one’s favour. Consider, for example, the Irish Times‘s Gerry Thornley doing the “colour piece” (green, natch) on that small cataclysm at Eden Park:

    It appears half of the Irish diaspora are in the Antipodes, as as most of them are at least working can thus afford to reconnect with the old sod. It helps, mind, that New Zealanders don’t exactly adore their neighbours, least of all when it comes to rugby and World Cups.

  • Greenflag

    ‘Sometimes the phenomenon works to one’s favour’

    Unless you happened to be Polish or Belgian or Dutch and it’s 1939 and a large horde of grey uniforms are marching up and down your streets in which case the safer option was to keep your ‘perixenophobia ‘ to yourself .

    Admittedly perixenophilia the antithesis of perixenohobia is probably the much rarer condition . I have no idea of what the Danes think of the Brits or the Germans although I have heard a Dane quip that the Swedes are like the Germans only in a more human form but I read that the victorious Danish left of centre party has been victorious in that country’s recent general election and not only is the country’s first female Prime Minister but is hailed by the non Danish name of Schmidt and her hubbie is the son of a certain red headed Welsh blatherer who nearly made it to No 10 -I refer of course to Neil Kinnock .

    It’s a small world and when your next door neighbours happen to be the Germans and they rule the roost ‘perixenophobia ‘ may be an unaffordable luxury ?

  • Greenflag

    On the other hand if you are from Northern Ireland and you have two next door neighbours and one is propping your economy up to the tune of 7 billion sterling a year in subvention then one would expect that ‘perixenophilia’ would by now be almost DNA’d into the body political and indeed the bodies physical of the entire population –

    Alas this is not the case with one half of the population straining at the leash (at least theoretically ) to tell the neighbour to shove it- and the other half pleading for even more it just goes to prove that there is’ nowt as queer as folk’ as the man on the moors said .