“The first winner to totter down our stained red carpet…”

In The Observer, Andrew Rawnsley has some, admirably even-handed, fun distributing his alternative political awards of the year.

Time now to unveil the Assassin Of The Year. There could only be one winner: Ed Miliband knifed not just his brother, but also Nick Brown, Gordon Brown, Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper. The panel were particularly impressed that the first killer panda ever to lead a major British political party could keep a straight face when he said: “I love you, David” even as he walked over his older sibling’s corpse to claim the Labour leadership.

This ceremony would not be complete without recognising Nick Clegg and his extraordinary rollercoaster of a year. But which award would be appropriate? The judges found it very hard to agree. Panellists who remain sympathetic to Mr Clegg argued strongly that he ought to be acclaimed as Politician Of The Year. Did he not steal the leaders’ TV debates? Has he not brought Liberals into government for the first time since Churchill’s wartime coalition more than 60 ago? Is he not now burnt in effigy on the streets? Even the latter is a truly historic achievement. Never before could anyone be bothered to set light to a Liberal leader.

Heh.  Do read the whole thing.

Pete Baker