No goat about the place

The BBC and Belfast Telegraph have a story about a lady called Maya Dunthorpe from East Belfast who has walked her goat in the grounds of Stormont for the past few months. Apparently in the past the security guards have not minded but now Ms. Dunthorpe and her goat (Stan) have been told that they are no longer welcome on the estate. It seems that if Stan attacked someone or caused an accident, there’d be no insurance and only dogs are allowed in the grounds.

A spokeswoman for the Department of Finance and Personnel, which manages the Stormont Estate, said the rules were clear.
“Under the Stormont Regulations and Government Property Act 1933, no animals other than dogs are permitted within the Stormont Estate,” she said.
“These rules and regulations are displayed on all notice boards at the public entrances to the Stormont Estate.”

This raises the interesting question of what would happen if I took my cat there tomorrow or indeed whether the assorted wild animals which roam around Stormont should be allowed.

  • Rory Carr

    If Yer Man on the White Horse is no longer welcome at Stormont can the end of the Orange dream be far behind?

  • pippakin

    There is no problem. The worthless pen pushers and their minions at Stormont should just add goats and of course your cat to the insurance.

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    Im mightily relieved to know that there is indeed a goat in Stormont (can I be the first to say “no kidding”).
    Recently I had occasion to say to Mrs FJH “I think I see a goat over there” and Mrs FJH thought I was going doolally.
    I also pointed out a big white elephant but apparently its Parliament Buildings.

    Even though Stan is a mammal surely this is one for RSPB man Jim Wells (DUP). The Assembly could actually do itself a favour by mounting a cross party campaign to save Stan……
    Clearly the goat is doing no harm…..as long as Mrs Dunthorpe has her pooper scooper with her.
    Clearly a case of the DFP being too jobsworthy.
    Incidently much as I admire the security guards at Stormont they are actually a bit lax about people without pooper scoopers walking dogs about the grounds.

    And maybe thats how this problem arose. Maybe some MLA or compliant dog walker took objection to non-compliant dog walkers and Stan has got caught in the crossfire.

  • Drumlins Rock

    wonder has anyone ever went for a ride on the Goat at Stormont?

  • cynic47

    “No Goat Here” has a certain ring to it.lol

  • cynic47

    “Stormont is a cold place for goats”

  • cynic47

    Where is the Equality Commission when you need them?

  • magnus

    BBC NI is running a special programme tonight which will tell us the latest developments.

    It’s on at nine o’clock.

    “Have I Goat News for You”

  • magnus

    Not to be outdone ITV have signed up Maya and Stan for …

    “Britain’s Goat Talent”

  • Cynic,
    The longest part of this post was deciding between No Goat here and No Goat about the place

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    I can see they are on a horns of a dilemna …..but its basically a pointless goat trailing exercise.

  • alan56

    Any red rodents at Stormont?

  • Seymour Major

    …or if the goat is a Billy goat

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    I can understand where the DFP with insurance and stuff are coming from but this is just another example of a nanny state.

  • Drumlins Rock

    The story is quite inaccurate actually, there were at least 18 goats making quite a racket one the steps of Stormont last year, I think Stan might me safer elsewhere in case Willie Drennan comes to visit again!

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/dupphotos/3707201575/in/pool-lambeg#/photos/dupphotos/3707201575/in/pool-400706@N24/lightbox/

  • magnus

    Don’t knock it.

    Everywhere I eat out, goats cheese is now an option in one form or another. And it really is tasty. I see from the internet that while there are

    36 million sheep,
    5 million pigs,
    2 million cows,

    there are only 80,000 goats in the UK.

    Two questions arise.

    Is there any viable future for me as a goatherd, and two would I be lonely?

    Two more questions arise

    Are there any more goatherdesses out there. How does one attract a goatherdess?

  • Reader

    magnus: How does one attract a goatherdess?
    By acting the goat.

  • Gildernew could always issue another goat visa 🙂

  • Seymour Major

    Could it be that the main concern behind this development is that people will no longer be able to
    ride the goat
    at Stormont?

  • wild turkey

    cynic47

    more to the point, where is the USPCA in all thi?

    the remit of the equality commission does not extend to our 4 legged friends. however, senior management might have a bleak simpatico for creatures who sleep under rocks.

  • wild turkey

    “Under the Stormont Regulations and Government Property Act 1933, no animals other than dogs are permitted within the Stormont Estate,”

    well that explains politics NI for the past four score and seven years……

    apologies to A Lincoln and the americans he eulogised

  • Alan Maskey

    Given Stormont’s allocation, I am amazed the DUP etc are not on their hind legs roaring about the right of Protestant goats to graze the Queen’s highway.

    off thread: The admin are looking for suggestions on how to revamp the site. I suggest we grade witticisms out of ten. I give my wee effort 2.

  • Mrazik

    Uwe turn at Stormont.

  • fin

    any truth to the rumour that the goat and its family had been burnt out of their home in East Belfast previously?

  • alan56

    Anyone watching ‘What the Green Movement got wrong’ on C4?

  • Stephen Ferguson

    “Off our hooves”….

  • Monsieur Magnus

    Try Manon des Sources for your goatherdess. …

    and here is an excerpt

  • Drumlins Rock

    barely a 1 i would say Alan, usually your posts are an 8 or 9 for hilarity.

  • Drumlins Rock

    maybe you will invite them to do it in your front room Seymour?

  • Alan Maskey

    ewe’r only trying to get my g–t. Mind ewe, I give Fin below a 7 for his. I kinda like No Goat Here too,

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goat

    Anyway, looking up Wikipedia, lots of chances there from Billy Goat to the fact that goats are blowi n Asiatics anyway.
    Why not have trish deer at Stormont for parity of esteem loike around the Irish Presidential Palace.

  • Did I miss the “no goat’s toe” comment?

  • I am surprised that the identity of the Judas Goat has yet to be speculated upon or indeed revealed.

  • Down South

    Where will she bring the kids now? – She can’t leave them with the nanny!

  • Alan Maskey

    Let’s make the goat a scape goat.
    Actually I just watched a few minutes of Rambo 111, where American and Afghan Islamic terrorists disrupt Soviet rule in Afghanistan. I stopped watching at the Buzkashi game, This is the old Afghan game where you, on horseback, try to dump a dead goat in a circle as all your opponents try to kill you.
    Wyho needs Poc fada at Stormont. Lrt’s play Buzkashi with this goat, or with Gerry Adams if we want to stay sweet with the RCSPA.

  • Drumlins Rock

    there some thing a touch goatlike in wee Barry McIlduff lol

  • Alan Maskey

    Skin the Goat, James Fitzharris, kept his mouth shut on the Invincibles. So who was the tout that ratted out the Stormont goat? Perhaps we can expect him to be paraded with Gerry on one side and Martin on the other.

    Drumlins Rock: Poc is the abreviated irish for billy boy goat. See if you can work the Scots Irish into a half decent pun/quip like I did with poc, in our common native language.

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    Im still waiting for an El Beardo comment.

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    Alan Maskey……are you familiar with the phrase Buck (see its goat related) Alec to describe an eejit?

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    no youre thinking of Barry Goat McIlgruff

  • Buck Alec had a pet lion 🙂

  • Seymour Major

    DR

    If a guest entered my front room, they are much more likely to receive Jacobs biscuits than a Jacobs ladder

  • Alan Maskey

    Alexander “Buck Alec” Robinson was an illiterate Loyalist paramilitary, B man and serial criminal, praised by Ian Paisley. Buck’s lion would have liked Stormont’s goat.

  • drumlins rock

    usually its a Buck Idjit

  • slappymcgroundout

    “There is no problem. The worthless pen pushers and their minions at Stormont should just add goats and of course your cat to the insurance.”

    Ever been around goats much? I came to regard them as more of a pest than the coyotes who would try and cull the sheep herd. They’ll chew on just about everything, from Robbo’s tie to Iris’ undies to Gerry’s beard (they don’t graze, they browse)(think of your two year old putting everything within reach into her or his mouth). And there hasn’t been a fence yet invented that they won’t try to knock down or climb over. They even climb trees, at least the trees that aren’t truly vertical. Now let me correct myself, as they were more of a pest than the coyotes who tried to eat the sheep herd, the woodpeckers who did their best to destroy the walnut trees, and the devious blue jays who tried every possible device to get around any and all barriers set up to keep them and the grapes apart. Sure, they’re all nice when they want you to scratch their heads, but don’t let that fool you. In other words, Stan The Man, you don’t fool me. I’ve been there and I know your kind well.

    Lastly, Maya, if you’re reading this, to be fair to Stan The Man, the goat is a herd animal and so he shouldn’t be the only one of his kind about the place. He needs a goat friend or two or three or a herd. Sorry to say, but as friendly as they and we might be, we just don’t cut it in that respect. But there’s hope, since provided you can provide enough food, from your backyard growth and some alfalfa bought at the store, Stan The Man won’t mind a crowd in your backyard and precisely because he’s a herd animal. The danger for him being the only one of his kind is depression over the long term, with much of the same problems that depressed humans have.

  • This one’s for the etymologists and Latinists among us:

    You’re a capricious lot.

    Meanwhile (As You Like It, III.iii.8):
    I am here with thee, and thy Goats, as the most capricious Poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths.

  • magnus

    One good thing, all this puts paid to Willie Drennan’s concert in the park.

    And Atricles, I agree yodeleeeoooooh

  • “Don’t approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.”

  • Alan, I thought poc and boc were Irish for stag/buck. Looks like a p-Celtic root form 😉

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    He was indeed.
    But a local character whose funeral was attended by Rev Ian Paisley.
    There were I think three lions all toothless.
    But my point was that “Buck Alec” is actually a form of abuse to people who are a bit odd. Im surprised its not a phrase you have heard much.

  • fjh, Buck Alec’s lions are symbolic of Stormont committees.

  • Mrazik

    You’ve gotta’ be kidding!

  • Alan Maskey

    This unlikely thread shows the inspirational goat should stay

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    yeah…..pull the udder one.

  • magnus

    Maybe the Stormont troopers in dismissing the lady were not being goatist but sexist as in “One man one goat”.

    Perhaps DFP officials should confirm their egalitarian credentials and publicly embrace “Goats for all”.

  • Munsterview

    The term ‘Ride’ has a very particular application in most Southern working class areas, indeed most Southerners would know what is intended by the nomenclature !

    Come on Drumlin, since Big Maggie was perhaps too modest to spell out what was involved some weeks ago, please spill the beans just what is this thing about Unionists and goats……. what really happen behind closed doors….. or behind the bushes in Stormount.

    It seems canal side antics will be a storm in a tea cup compare to what else in in that tangled web !

    Please enlighten us as on our side other than a few acting the goat occasionally and kidding around, there is no culture of that sort of thing and I am intrigued as to what it could be. The thought of someone just wearing an orange sash and ……. Oh never mind,……….we will not go there just yet……….there may be an innocent explaination.

  • Munsterview

    Drumlin (2) Any significance in the fact that the goat excited Turgons attention ?

  • Munsterview

    Durumlins R……

    “…….barely a 1 i would say Alan, usually your posts are an 8 or 9 for hilarity…….”

    Wrong : only his serious ones, only the serious !

  • Munsterview

    FitzJ…..

    Nah….self awarness is not one of his strong points !

  • Munsterview

    No…..No……No !

    While I am all in favor of curbing some of his virbose hate mongering, I do not want to see Maskey boycotted !

  • fitzjameshorse1745

    LOL now youre just milking it.

  • Dr Concitor

    Magnus, many a true word spoken in jest. I have it on good authority that, even as we speak, DFP are setting up a animal access equality assessment (Stormont) working group, to be headed up by at least a grade 6. It is expected to come up with workable solutions for improved access for all animals in a 3 to 5 year time frame. With the cuts looming this is an opportunity not to be missed.

  • Pigeon Toes

    You can be sure that a lot of stakeholders will be bleating about this,for some time to come…

  • magnus

    Dr concitor.

    On even better authority I hear the OFMDFM Equality Unit have taken it on with Peter and Marty taking a close interest. On the QT though, some say Sammy and DFP passed the buck as usual.

  • Drumlins Rock

    will let you into the big secret Munster, but sushhh dont tell anyone… the Goat is actually a Hed Herring.

  • Drumlins Rock

    Munst, your ahead of me man, I’m still trying to work out which is which with Alan, any tips to know when he is serious or just being funny?

  • Munsterview

    I cannot say with certainty what Maskey unmasked is, I do not have to, I have shown what he is not and any middle ground, reasonable and rational person on the ‘other side’ still taken in by him cannot be reasoned with anyway. Now that he has been unmasked, anything else to do with him oter than giving reraders the occasional reminder, is a waste of time and energy.

    Anyone doubting that there is a sharp cookie at work behind the buffoonery has only to look at the psychological buttons he pushed to ‘do a number’ on ‘Granni T’ when I set him up for a final fall and ridicule before leaving him to his own devices.

  • Munsterview

    From a previous lengthy post re finding body

    I cannot say with certainty what Maskey unmasked is, I do not have to, I have shown what he is not and any middle ground, reasonable and rational person on the ‘other side’ still taken in by him cannot be reasoned with anyway. Now that he has been unmasked, anything else to do with him oter than giving reraders the occasional reminder, is a waste of time and energy.

    Anyone doubting that there is a sharp cookie at work behind the buffoonery has only to look at the psychological buttons he pushed to ‘do a number’ on ‘Granni T’ when I set him up for a final fall and ridicule before leaving him to his own devices.

  • Mrazik

    “…improved access for all animals in a 3 to 5 year time frame.”

    Sounds almost Orwellian – who’s Napoleon?

  • Alan Maskey

    Equal access for animals. Typical Orange crap. What about the birds, the bees and my pet goldfish (who, if truth be told, is a wee bit O–nge)

  • magnus

    Hi Mrazik

    Napoleon Bonaparte was a military and political leader of France and Emperor of the French as Napoleon I, whose actions shaped European politics in the early 19th century.

    see wiki below

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_I

  • Dr Concitor

    If you have orange crap I would see a doctor, not me I hasten to add.

  • Mrazik

    As Basil Brush would say, “Boom Boom”.

  • Alan Maskey

    Goat dung is the best feritiliser you can get. So Stormont is anti organic too. Sack the politicans. Elect the goat.

  • Munsterview

    Drumlins,

    Forgot to say Masky unmasked always posts with serious intent and is most serious when apparently playing the bufoon or to the gallery.

    Regards himself rather as’ Masky the Master of Mind Games’ apparently with the rest of us as his pawns and chess pieces but of course we should not have the wit to realise that in the hands of such an expert.

  • Munsterview

    “….. The danger for him being the only one of his kind is depression over the long term, ….”

    You don’y say ? Poor Old Maskey !

  • Munsterview

    “…..Goat dung is the best feritiliser you can get…..”

    Funny you should say that……. I had you down as more of a bullshit man !

  • latcheeco

    Trolls waxin’ comical about billy goats. Perhaps some people don’t like the lesson of that particular right to walk episode when big brother finally forced the issue.

    So if there’s goats up on the hill, and a Peter, does that make MMG Heidi?

  • Alan Maskey

    Bok of Job (XXXIX.1) KNOWEST thou the time when the wild goats of the rock bring forth?
    Or canst thou mark when the hinds do calve?

  • Munsterview

    Book of Job 39…..5

    ” Who has given the wild donkey his freedom
    who has undone the harness of the Brayer!

  • cynic47

    Alright so we have exhausted all the goat jokes. Could we now have a thread about some of the goats that sit up there?

  • Rory Carr

    You left out the minus sign before the “2”, Alan. Must try harder.

  • Munsterview

    Yep Rory….. and about five zeros also!