Don't try this on Slugger…

I’ve been trying to roll out the idea that civility in argumentative exchange makes for crisper dialogue and a sharpening of arguments all round – with a noticable upturn in standards. Today my colleague Mark sent me these examples of ‘sledging’ from international Cricket matches uttered in close quarters at the crease. You’ll note from the missing numbers that I’ve had to cut the unpublishable ones out.

1 Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: “So how’s your wife & my kids?”

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. “Looks like you spent it eating,” Cullinan retorted.

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played & missed:”You can’t f**king bat”. Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t f**king bat & you can’t f**king bowl.”

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: “Tickets please”, Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was
greeted by Mark Waugh……. MW : “F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for England” JO : “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family”

12. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : “Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”

  • The Watchman

    Not bad, but the exchanges between myself and Duncan Shipley-Dalton have more bite.

  • Martin

    I can’t believe you left out the classic between Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes. After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler politely enquired: [Mick: indeed – I didn’t include it on the grounds of decency ;-)]

  • Occasional Commentator

    It’s just not crick….

    On second thoughts, maybe it should be “it’s just not snooker”. Snooker seems to be the last sport that’s played with any decency.

  • Diogenes

    He missed another Merv Hughes gem. Merv was getting smashed all over the park by Hanse Cronje then let out a load fart and yelled at Cronje “See if you can hit that for 6 mate”

  • pacart

    What about when Viv Richards played and missed a ball, one of the slip fielders says, “Hey, Viv, it’s small and round and red” Richards hits the next one into the crowd and turns to the guy “you know what it looks like, go and get it”

  • aquifer


    “Not bad, but the exchanges between myself and Duncan Shipley-Dalton have more bite”

    Throwing your false teeth at one another now?

  • Donnie

    In the interests of decency the others on Mick’s list can be found here