Police fire warning shots..

Local [chimpanzee] community representatives accused police of a heavy-handed response – “They didn’t shoot at the monkey!”

  • Newton Emerson

    Looks like I didn’t quit the Portadown News a minute too soon.

    I may also post this in the Hain thread.

  • overhere

    Looks like monkeys are going to be the main news tonight.

    Who said the silly season was over.

    [Let’s keep the ball on the pitch – ed Mod]

  • Jo

    Paul Clarke almost Peed himself tonight on UTV Live, they showed a pic of a money with its paws up in the air “DONT SHOOT PLEASSSSE!”

    I usually laugh at U-L for other reasons…;)


    [Try again TAFKABO – ed Mod]

    ( C’mon, somebody had to say it )

  • tiny

    It’s clearly more dangerous being a monkey on the run than a rioter on the streets!

  • peteb

    That would be a chimpanzee.. NOT a monkey, tiny.


    OK, I’ll try again.

    Maybe the police mistook the chimp for a Catholic/Protestant/Loyalist/Unionist/Republican/Nationalist*

    *Delete according to personal predjudice.

  • peteb


    Someone’s got to keep that satirical flag flying.

  • John Doheny

    Another OTR captured – [*ahem* – ed mod] Case Closed.

  • Baluba

    That poor créatúr of a chimp gets shots fired over his head, yet on my way to work I sit 45 mins in a traffic jam caused by 15 Mums ‘n’ prams on the Springfield!?!

    This is truly a stupid place.

    Of course if they were Catholic Mums ‘n’ prams (or chimps) they’d be well beaten off the road.

  • peteb

    Despite the best efforts of the moderator.. not even satire can get through the mopery.

    *shakes head*

  • peteb

    According to Angelique Chrisafis’ report in the Guardian

  • eranu

    did that chimpanzee not qualify for early release under the GFA anyway, along with all our other Great Apes ???


    “Of course if they were Catholic Mums ‘n’ prams (or chimps)”

    Just fill in the punchline yourselves.

    I’m already on a sticky wicket with the Mods.

  • 9countyprovience

    “Right turn Clyde”

    Did they catch Phil Beddoe too?

  • donald

    The monkey should have teamed up with the uvf boys, he would have been safe enough.

    The baseball hat and scarf might have been nice

  • jimmy

    Can monkeys be trained to sell drugs

  • jimmy

    Can monkeys be trained to sell drugs

  • bubbles

    He could disguise himself as a 5 year old rioter