Inspector's gadgets fail to impress…

THE use of plastic bullets in Northern Ireland has often been criticised by republicans (whose own ‘police’ prefer live rounds), but finding a ‘less lethal’ replacement to contain riots has proved difficult for the Government. In a story yesterday – which reads like a report about weapons experiments carried out by Q’s office in a Bond movie – we learn of the many failed attempts by State scientists to devise a crowd control weapon that doesn’t breach human rights legislation.

9 thoughts on “Inspector's gadgets fail to impress…”

  1. The sand bullets look promising.

    Dogs were very effective against some DUP supporters who tried to break into Stormont one time, but this was unfair to the howling beasts.

    Adding a bad smell to the tepid water in the cannon would keep the hallions guessing.

    Best of all is probably high resolution video, quick cash rewards for identifications on the web, and new sentencing guidelines.

  2. Gonzo:
    Whilst this is a story worthy of comment and debate, your intro Gonzo (insinuating that only republicans have a problem with plastic bullets, and that they even have a cheek to have one – nicely sticking the entire republican community into one corner) totally put me off.
    As far as I remember many non-republican and human rights groups actually have problems with plastics, which in the north are usually fired at hip height, and usually into nationalist crowds (17 dead and counting).(see http://www.peacepeople.com/2005/policing.html, http://www.hrw.org/campaigns/nireland99/bullet.htm, http://www.sdlp.ie/prattwoodplasticbulletsunacceptable.shtm etc.)
    As unionists rarely experience this unique pleasure, your ignorance and cheap intro are understandable, but not excusable.

  3. PSNI to use new weapon against rioters -TUMA

    Said Inspector Knackered yesterday, ‘We’re totally fed up being pelted with acid, petrol and blast bombs, sometimes not even on overtime so Human Rights advisors have come up with our newest weapon to combat rioters – TUMA – Tactical Use of Mild Admonishment. We think that by not using baton rounds, batons, CS Spray, watercannon and dogs on rioters but instead saying things like ‘steady on now’ or ‘fair play lads’ will represent such a surprise that they will be incapacitated and then we can shoot the fuckers.’

  4. PSNI to use new weapon against rioters -TUMA

    Said Inspector Knackered yesterday, ‘We’re totally fed up being pelted with acid, petrol and blast bombs, sometimes not even on overtime so Human Rights advisors have come up with our newest weapon to combat rioters – TUMA – Tactical Use of Mild Admonishment. We think that by not using baton rounds, batons, CS Spray, watercannon and dogs on rioters but instead saying things like ‘steady on now’ or ‘fair play lads’ will represent such a surprise that they will be incapacitated and then we can shoot the fuckers.’

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