Tomorrow is NOT just another day

It’s the ‘most depressing day of the year’, according to Dr. Cliff Arnall, of the University of Cardiff, Wales that is. And he has a formula to ‘prove’ it!.. although that formula is reported a little differently here.. hmm.. Anyway, to cheer yourself up, read Giles Coren’s reaction to this news in the Times, as he says “I didn’t have to read on to know that this research had been carried out at Cardiff University. It wasn’t going to be Harvard, was it?” heh hehCoren suggests that Dr Arnall has missed a couple of factors, and conjures up a formula of his own –

And so this Welsh conehead came up with the formula (W+(D-d))xTQMxNA in which W is the weather, D is debt, M is general motivation levels and so on. Well, excuse me, but how do you take £1,240 away from a foggy day and multiply it by not really giving a toss if the sky falls in?

The thing about January 24, apparently, is that on this day people are encumbered by post-Christmas credit card debts, have failed to keep new year’s resolutions and are sensitive to low levels of sunshine. Furthermore, says Dr Arnall, “it is a Monday, which always makes people think ‘oh no’ as they realise that the weekend is over.” Losers. That is not depression. That is being a slack-willed, underpaid office drudge with a case of the inverted yabbadabbadoos.

Dr Arnall has completely ignored the truly important variables, such as N (still haven’t published a novel), O (so old that the only point in having children now is that you will soon need them as organ donors), DH (people with whom you once had things in common are now claiming to enjoy Desperate Housewives) and Y (ye gods, is that hair in my ears?).

To discover how depressed you are simply add these all together and square them (all proper equations have something squared in them) then multiply by August 25 (the day that the fourth Ashes Test begins, which, England having already lost the series, will be a consolation match featuring a lot of players you have never heard of) and then divide by Cardiff.

BTW, if you get an answer of 42… you are Deep Thought