Public morality, private hypocrisy…

One of the great lessons in life is that the more someone publicly professes to be a ‘Christian,’ the more unchristian their private life is.

Years ago, I met one of the leading figures in the Save Ulster From Sodomy Campaign. I have a surprisingly good gaydar for a straight guy, and it was pinging off the chart. This guy had spent much of the 70s and 80s persecuting gays while himself being as gay as Eurovision. I felt sorry for him; he was a product of his upbringing. To live your life as a lie and with such self-loathing must be very tiring on the soul.

I don’t think our churches have fully owned up to the damage they have done to their congregations over the years and the damage they continue to do. The Catholic Church in Ireland has been practically destroyed by sex scandals and the various institutional abuses but a lot of the Protestant Churches were equally at fault.

Even now, I thick there is massive toxicity in the Evangelical Churches in Northern Ireland. Many people from a Catholic background have no concept of just how huge these churches are and what a massive role they play in the lives of hundreds of thousands of people here. It is a parallel world where they have their own music, books, and culture. Relationships are formed in Churches, and your entire social life resolves around the church.

I know many people who have suffered great mental distress with their experiences of Church.

Jesus loves you, but terms and conditions apply. If you are married and have 2.4 smiling blonde children, you are with the elect. But God help you if you are gay, single, have an addiction, have a child out of marriage, have an affair, or the worst crime of all – you make inferior traybakes.

It does not even need to be a massive crisis to have a feeling of inadequacy. The modern obsession with being ‘perfect’ can be particularly toxic in churches. You have to be a great husband, a perfect dad, a star employee, a volunteer with charity, you have to involve yourself with any many aspects of the church as possible. You must have a smile on your face at all times and a can-do positive attitude. You must always be a role model follower of Christ, but where it goes wrong is when you fall from grace with God. To have any kind of doubt, to have depression or any mental illness, to give it less than a hundred per cent, you are a failure.

It is worth watching Irish poet ​Pádraig ÓTuama experience of having three different ‘exorcisms’ and ‘reparative therapy’ to remove his gayness. The story has a lot of dark humour.

And it is not just on matters of sexuality that leaders have been found lacking. There is no shortage of examples from the Troubles of religious leaders who were only too happy to share platforms with murderers or give a moral justification for violence.

Can I stress I am not anti church. Some people get a lot of positives from religion. They get community and friendship as well as sense of belonging. I consider myself a Christian and I do go to church, just not one with an inhouse band. Jesus was at home with the outcasts and sinners, a lesson many religious people seem to ignore and instead go in for some Old Testament smiting and judgement.

We should also remember that most politicians are good public citizens and we should not tar them all with the same brush.

John Hume studied for the priesthood before deciding it was not for him. However, he used his talents and sense of public service to found the Credit Union movement and was a massive supporter of St Vincent De Paul and other positive organisations.

Currently, we have many great politicians who lead by example. Belfast City Councillor Paul McCusker does amazing work with the homeless and marginalised. His council colleague Paul Doherty also does great work with food banks.

UUP deputy leader Robbie Butler manages to successfully walk the line of being a public Christian without being sanctimonious about it. He and his wife have fostered over 40 children. 

We also have many examples of clergy like Alex Reid and Ken Newell, who made massive contributions to the peace process.

I have deliberately not named names in this post, and I asked that you do the same in the comments. Instead, try to give examples of past or current politicians, clergy, and others who have been good public servants. Giving credit to those who lived or lived lives of genuine Christian kindness and non-judgement is good.

I will leave the last word to the key figure of Easter, Jesus himself – judge not, lest ye be judged…