Absentee OFMdFM leadership thawing out in Brazil?

Brilliant piece of’so-whatness’ from MalachiO’Doherty on an OFMdFM that seems not to understand yet that it is they who are in charge, or Matt Baggott, or anyone of a dozen favourite bogeymen…

Have you been down to the beach? Copacabana? Pina Colada?

That’s what you need, some chill-out time to talk over your wee differences. Like the flags.

Puts the whole thing in perspective, eh?

No need to be getting so rattled about it that you have to virtually boycott each other when there’s a camera pointing at you. Let me just fill you in there. It’s quietened down a bit, though there was a wee loyalist riot in Glengormley the other night.

Five peelers were hurt but the SoS has been looking after it, saying it’s totally unacceptable, the usual stuff.

Sammy has been a bit tactless, telling judges that they are just civil servants. But there have been no more embarrassing arrests, so that’s good. Right?

You know how both of you fret when the Baggott nicks somebody. There have been no more bombs? Well not many and mostly just duds.

And one up in Lenadoon and one in the Village. It’s all looking very Equal Opportunity so far.

And then a bomb exploded by the M5 near a police car. It keeps the Army busy. What would we do without the Army? Sorry, Marty; our wee joke. It just goes to show that all you need to get this place and its problems out of your system is a wee bit of a break.

Will you be back for St Pat’s Day? That’s looking a bit iffy.

Oh, of course, you’ll be in Washington. Sure, don’t give it a thought. Tess will manage to say the right thing and if there’s any bother you’ll hear about it when you get back.

Mick is founding editor of Slugger. He has written papers on the impacts of the Internet on politics and the wider media and is a regular guest and speaking events across Ireland, the UK and Europe. Twitter: @MickFealty