In Northern Ireland we are all victims. Unfortunately many people do not feel that they are victims not having suffered during the Troubles. As such it is necessary for peace processors to help us all understand our victimhood. This can be difficult because there are many stubborn cases of people who feel they are not victims. These unfortunate souls must not be neglected by peace processors. Indeed as we are all getting older it is vital that no one is allowed to die without first having been made a victim. This means that much money needs to be spent on the vital job peace processors need to perform helping us all to release our inner victim. Also of course some peace processors may have negative equity: they need helped out of that victimhood more than anything.
As well as us all being victims we are all guilty: Fortunately some are less guilty. The less guilty fit into two camps: the peace processors who have identified their guilt and as such are the very righteous guilty (VRG). Then there are the terrorists: they committed crimes but since they have realised that they are actually victims they are righteous guilty (RG): not as righteous as the very righteous guilty but righteous nonetheless. Unfortunately the guilty are all out there. What needs to happen is that money needs to be spent telling the guilty who do not think they are guilty that indeed they are the most guilty (MG). Those best placed to tell the not most guilty (MG) about their guilt are the righteous guilty (RG). Terrorists (RG for short) are well placed to tell the non guilty (MG) about their guilt. However, the bad non guilty (MG) might reject the explanations of the guilty; compounding their guilt even further (most, most guilty). Hence, the very righteous guilty peace processors (VRG) need to help the righteous guillty (RG) also known as terrorists to tell the MMG that indeed they are so guilty. Fortunately the very righteous guilty are also the peace processors who of course have also discovered their victimhood along the way: thankfully then as long as we give the peace processors even more money they can help us all understand.
Northern Ireland: Franz Kafka could only have dreamed of it.
This author has not written a biography and will not be writing one.