That’s a line from radio drama Trouble and Shame written by David Ireland, produced by BBC Scotland and broadcast on Radio Ulster/Foyle last Monday night.
Andy Hunter is a slightly unhinged Glaswegian. He comes over and kidnaps the First and deputy First Minsters, holding them hostage in his car. Not for financial gain, or terrorist spectacular, but to force unionist Paul and republican Patsy to talk to each other and sort out the differences of their communities once and for all. The FM asks:
“Why should we cooperate if there’s no threat of violence?”
There’s a bit more of the background to the commission on Radio Scotland’s blog which accurately describes the plot as “satirical and absurdist”.
While remaining quite fantastical, it contains a germ of an interesting exploration of community stereotypes, the default tit for tat responses that politicians so quickly rehearse when put under pressure, and the need for basic humanity and respect. There’s also a bit of a fixation with sausage rolls.
It’s still available on iPlayer until 7pm on Monday 9th.