STOP THE PRESS! BBC own up to being the broadcasting wing of the IRA/UCUNF/TUV…..

Shocking revelations this lunchtime. Following exhaustive investigations by the ever vigilant, noble and loyal Sons of Dundela Avenue, the British Broadcasting Corporation has admitted to being run by a covert unit of Irish republican agents acting in unison with dissident unionists and more mainstream unionists with conservative tendencies.
Said the Humble Leader, “I knew it, I just knew it. These republican- and unionist- liars have spent months plotting my downfall. Now that we’ve unmasked the republican- and unionist and conservative- agents directing the BBC’s smear campaign, I have instructed my dogged team of investigators to search for the missing piece of evidence to confirm the rumour that the BBC enticed that Midnight Cowboy into romancing my beloved, before planting the notion of borrowing money from some of my hundreds of business friends in her head. I also believe this particular outfit has fellow sleepers at work in the print media- you know who you are and I’m gunnin’ for ya’!”
“I must commend some of my colleagues- like fellow Honourable Member, Sammy- who long ago raised suspicions about the BBC after news presenters with phonetically funny and foreign names began to appear on our British television screens.
“Others became suspicious when Irish language programmes started appearing with alarming infrequency on the BBC. I mean, what does the Irish language have to do with a part of Ireland?
“Then, the disturbingly irregular appearance of the sport of bogball on our television screens further confirmed our fears, which were finally taken up by one of my allies and fellow Honourable Members, David, who brought our concerns into the open last October when he made the charge of republican bias against the BBC, rightly pointing out that entering BBC HQ was a more hazardous course of action for a unionist than being greeted at a Sinn Fein press conference.
“These dense, silly and smearing liars must be dealt with firmly by the PSNI and by the government. In fact, a special place in Gitmo Bay should be reserved for these miscreants and the waterboarding commenced with great haste to flush out the remaining moles in Auntie.
“They thought they could con me. The fools! The fools! Who do they think they are? These immoral scoundrels have nothing on me. Arlene let’s go- forget the tea; Edwin- remember to keep a close eye on that republican ASU in Knock. Look at me Iris- still top o’ the world!”

  • dwatch

    Chris, you forgot about mentioning Selwyn Black and the MI5 conspiracy .

  • Harry J

    How many news presenters are actually protestant? THere is an anti-unionist pro-republican agenda at the BBC.

    THe fact that the BBC have done little regarding Adams brother or Adams past is a sign of that.

    Robinson buys and sells a piece of land for £5 and the BBC launch a whole investigation.

    Gerry Adams orders the abduction and murder of a mother of 10 and very little is said. Where is their investigation into his and mcguinness crimes of murder?

  • sdelaneys

    Harry J, the problem with that argument is that Robinson and the DUP also kept very quiet about those things so they must be part of the conspiracy too along with various developers and randy 20 year olds.

  • If Peter Robinson, or indeed anyone else, has a piece of land available for £5.00 I bags first claim! And the BBC can research all they like, but I charge for interviews. Cant afford a toy boy yet. Dont know anyone with £50,000 to spare. So Im saving as much as possible from the cat money.

  • OscarTheGrouch

    Oh don’t start, please…..

    The BBC like every news organisation is out to find out entertaining facts about our ‘great and good’ – I sometimes wonder if we on Slugger are drinking our own bathwater too much, that anyone could think that conspiracy theories (aka Harry above) could be regarded as anything other tha laughable.

    Its not their fault that our politicians for so long hidden behind serious bloody news are now exposed to a bit of scrutiny. Ironically its their own desire for power that has brought it on themselves.

    Actually I suspect aliens.

    Get the Tin-Foil hats out guys.

  • Wabbits

    Harry J your myopia knows no bounds. What religon somebody is should be irrelevant. Your question and assertion about the BBC shows you up for what you really are. Your type would only be happy if there wasn’t “a catholic about the place” and we all went back to the “good ol days” when your type ruled the roost.

    I could easily make a guess about how many Protestant/Catholics front up BBC programmes or work in their newsroom (by looking at their surbnames and making assumptions) but I wont because that would be wrong. Don’t you see that your question and assertion are bigotry personified ?

    However as I am someone who has had years of dealings with the BBC Newsroom staff, professionally and personally, I think it fair to say that all shades of opinion and none are represented there. That is as it should be. That’s democracy.

    You on the other hand would prefer a Goebbels like approach to news gathering and presentation.

  • Harry J

    wabbits, then why no investigations into gerry adams or martin mcguinness? would that upset the nationalists too much at the beeb?

    the BBC is institutionally anti-unionist

  • Harry J

    Its not their fault that our politicians for so long hidden behind serious bloody news…

    buying a piece of land for a fiver or abducting and murdering a mother of ten, or child rape.. now which is news.

    Seems the BBC think the former is.

  • If you have anything to hide, and I do mean anything, then standing for any political office in the widest sense of the word, is about the most idiotic thing you can do nowadays, for the very simple reason that the masses are getting smarter by the minute because they are getting better educated and are learning to look for and accept nothing else but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me, Global Operating Devices and to question what you hear to make sure that it is not pathetic spin to create an alternate reality.

    Methinks that may render many idiotic.

  • OscarTheGrouch

    Lol. I thought NI was an alternate reality. Or at least a bizarre episode of Star Trek.

  • Mrazik

    Harry J,

    I guess you’re on double-time over the holiday period. Fill your boots!…just like…

  • [quote][i]the BBC is institutionally anti-unionist[/i] …. Posted by Harry J on Apr 03, 2010 @ 01:03 PM[/quote]

    Err …. I was thinking more along the lines of pseudo fascist pinko.

  • Surely this isn’t the man from Mars from The Register? The comment is too short and sensible.

  • joeCanuck

    Very clever piece of satire, Chris. We don’t have enough of it here on SOT. Sometimes (often?) we take ourselves too seriously.

  • smellybigoxteronye

    Despite Chris’s attempts to be-little this point, I would completely agree that BBC Northern Ireland has become extremely anti-unionist in it’s reporting in recent years. It has become so bad that I can no longer watch BBC Newsline, and now restrict my news intake to websites that also provide a comment area for allowing open analysis of any issue.

    And on a separate point, what is the deal with having so many southern newsreaders on the supposed Northern Ireland evening news? I wouldn’t care so much about the political/religious background of the newsreaders if they were actually from Northern Ireland (they’re just reading what is on the autocue after all). But BBC NI are really just taking the piss with all the southerners. I mean BBC Newsline has a main evening news presenter from the south, we’re now presented the weather from someone from the south (though she does seem a nice girl), and now we’re given sports news from that southerner with the weirdly shaped head sitting on his red seat. I mean come on, it’s not as if the talent shown by these people is particularly outstanding or anything!

  • Border Fox

    Conor Bradford, Wendy Austin, Mark Carruthers, David Dunseith, Karen Patterson etc etc. The place is crawling with Fenians and their Republican agenda !

    Harry J your head is seriously up Peter’s Ransom Strip !

    Can I say that I mean no disrespect to the above ournalist/broadcasters whatsoever!

  • Border Fox

    journalist not ournalist by the way… !

    As for SmellyB well…..next thing there will be English presenters on BBC NI heaven forbid….

    Oh dear that particular taboo has already been broken!

  • Mrazik

    And on a separate point, what is the deal with having so many southern newsreaders on the supposed Northern Ireland evening news?

    Posted by smellybigoxteronye on Apr 03, 2010 @ 01:45 PM

    Erm,…it’s called the European Union.

  • Wabbits

    wabbits, then why no investigations into gerry adams or martin mcguinness? would that upset the nationalists too much at the beeb?

    the BBC is institutionally anti-unionist

    Posted by Harry J on Apr 03, 2010 @ 01:03 PM

    Well Harry J in the inimitable words of Mandy Rice Davis you would say that wouldn’t you?

    So let us look at just how anti unionist the BBC really is. Just to prove your point….

    The BBC always spend hours following the annual Easter commerations, parades and speeches thus using license payers money to offend a large percentage of other license payers.

    The BBC (BECAUSE THEY ARE ANTI-UNIONIST) don’t pay any attention to the annual 12th of July parades and they don’t have any fawning commentary that, to the uninitiated, would make it look like a friendly day out that everybody here loves.

    The BBC are so anti Unionist that they dont broadcast any programmes in a makey uppy language which is only used by rednecks and which is in actual fact a dialect..

    The BBC are so anti Unionist that they didn’t invite and unelected Unionist politician onto their flagship Question Time television debate programme and at the same time try to exclude an elected Nationalist politician whos party has a sizeable vote.

    I think you will find that they haven’t completely ignored Adams and McGuinness past dealings either. As they say. Long runs the fox.

    Do you want me to go on ? Know what a mean Harry ?

  • ‘What is the deal with having so many southern newsreaders on the supposed Northern Ireland evening news?’

    Actually I think its just a question of supply and demand, that and everyone knows the Beeb is rich!

    You will find many Irish accents in English TV, what you wont find is many English accents on RTE news, thats a shame but may also be supply and demand. Ours is a much smaller market. Your average upwardly mobile reporter/newsreader, will usually go where the money, the fame, and of course the stories are.

  • Pigeon Toes

    welcome back harry where have you been all week we missed you but we had paul and quincey whom i guess you must have went for to school with

  • sdelaneys

    Those old ‘weirdly’ shaped heads are a bugger. Some of them can actually pronounce the names of the places they are talking about, must be the head shape. Ring them up and they will know where you can get stuff to stop your oxter smelling.

  • jtwo

    Laughable stuff when a republican conspiracy involves a woman from Kerry reading the weather. By the looks of it she’ll be off on maternity soon so Smelly can rest easy.

  • smellybigoxteronye

    Border Fox, I also don’t really like seeing English presenters on local NI news either; it’s just that they are nowhere near as prominent as the southerners have become.

  • Mrazik

    Border Fox, I also don’t really like seeing English presenters on local NI news either; it’s just that they are nowhere near as prominent as the southerners have become.

    Posted by smellybigoxteronye on Apr 03, 2010 @ 02:38 PM

    Do you live in Royston Vasey Smelly? Do you shop locally in local shops?

  • ranger1640

    Peter Ransom-strip, buys and sells a peace of land, on its own not very unremarkable.

    However when you put it together with the shenanigans of his wife Iris, and her lone of 50K from property developers, and the Knock golf club planing shenanigans. There does seem to be a whiff of Pooh pocket lining around Iris and Peter Ransom-strip.

    Regarding the original post yes it was a nice peace of sarcasm. However there is a wee bit of truth in the post. BBC NI, will leave the important news to report on the insignificant.
    For fear of upsetting the political correct nationalism. Because we all know Unionism is not politically correct. Lets face it the BBC and especially BBC NI doesn’t do Britishness.

    It would be to BBC NI’s credit if they done a we bit of investigative journalism in to Gerry, Marty and co, but that does not play into BBC NI’s gloss on the so called peace process.

    BBC NI is crap, and its news is presented by overpaid civil servants.

  • OscarTheGrouch

    And there’s yon weird woman with the ‘mid-Atlantic’ accent – thats clearly evidence of the CIA input. as our coleagues have pointed out – this is surely enough evidence, which, ofcourse, makes Robbo’s case bang to rights! QED. (Qeer Evidence Demonstratum)

  • [quote][i]Surely this isn’t the man from Mars from The Register? The comment is too short and sensible.[/i] …. Posted by davenewman on Apr 03, 2010 @ 01:25 PM [/quote]

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  • Ulster Dandy

    I fear that some unionists think that unless a news source is pro-unionist, it is anti-unionist.

    Times have changed folks and they are not going back to the way they were. The unionist establishment no longer runs the show.

    We have to get used to it. It’s a “good thing”.

  • Mick made a good point a while ago that’s still relevant here: The BBC’s problem isn’t that they fail somehow in their mission to remain neutral – it is that they feel obliged to be neutral in the first place.

    It’s neither possible or desirable for a news organisation to be neutral. Instead, they should make sure that there are a range of views reflected in their commentators, and that their commentators don’t have a corporate or inflexible link to any political position. It’s important that they have the different range of brushes that you need to get into all of the corners that present themselves.

    Newsnight is an example of where they get it nearly right. Going through their team over recent years, they’ve had intelligent commentators from all corners – Paul Mason from the left-of-left, Stephanie Flanders from the centre, Evan Davies from the right.

  • joeCanuck

    I have heard it said,(long time ago now), that Peter Robinson was the sharpest knife in the DUP drawer. He seems to have lost his edge somewhat. So who is going to be the new leader in two months time, at the most, as I see in my crystal ball?

  • nick

    I would never have taken Seamy McKee as a republican sleeper-then again who would haver thought that Iris was a bit of a girl, Jeffrey likes to keep his remote control close to hand and that there was more to Willie McCrea than singing off-key gospel toons.

  • GavBelfast

    Let’s assume for one moment this ‘Harry J’ poster is genuine, and not a TUV or other plant posting here to (further) discredit the DUP.

    The concentration on alleged corruption within the DUP leadership without any such degree of attention on allegations of murder and other cover-up in the SF leadership is a perfectly valid observation to make.

    However, why would the DUP diss the BBC as “anti-Unionist” for not adequately dishing the dirt on Adams and McGuinness in particular and SF in general?

    Have you forgotten that Marty’s your mate Pete’s mate, regularly joined at the hip, and united in carving-up power here to the exclusion of the UUP (those you pretend to want “Unionist Unity” with, but dismiss as “liars”) as well as the SDLP?

    My God, but you have a weird outlook ‘Harry’ (though I still think you’re a plant).

  • Coll Ciotach

    that Kerry wan is pregnant? Well isn’t that typical of the Fenians? Soon they will want the vote too.

  • Alias

    “the BBC is institutionally anti-unionist” – Harry J

    The BBC is institutionally pro-British, not anti-unionist. If unionist interest conflates with British interests, then you’re in a happy place. But when they differ, then you’re seeing bias at every turn.

    The BBC’s Royal Charter compels it to promote British national interests. As one of the four non-sovereign nations that comprise the UK, it is the Northern Irish nation that the BBC must reflect in its broadcasting. So it isn’t a neutral or impartial broadcasting service, but a state-sponsored broadcasting service.

    The Northern Irish nation is comprised of more than unionists, so the BBC must reflect that nation in its entirety.

    Here is the relevant section from the BBC’s Royal Charter:

    [i](1)Four ordinary members of the Trust shall respectively be designated –

    (a)the Trust member for England;
    (b)the Trust member for Scotland;
    (c)the Trust member for Wales; and
    (d)the Trust member for Northern Ireland.

    (3)Each person to be designated under this article shall be suitably qualified by virtue of –

    (a)his knowledge of [b]the culture, characteristics and affairs of the people in the nation for which he is to be designated[/b], and
    (b)his close touch with opinion in that nation.[/i]

    As I said, “the people in the nation” are more than unionists. The BBC only promotes the cultural interests of the four nations that comprise the UK, so it has no mandate to cover the cultural affairs of the Irish nation or the Ulster Scots within Northern Ireland. It promotes the Northern Irish nation only.

  • The BBC is liberal, it is pro nationalist and pro socialist. Irish nationalism and Socialism have been trendy with champagne socialists for decades, ask Ken Livingstone.

    The Protestants are conservative, small c. This guarantees, apart from the liberal bias, that the patronising, superior, Beeb would be instinctively opposed to them. If Protestants would but pay attention and give it a chance, they would probably get a fairer hearing from RTE because the Beeb wont be changing anytime soon.

    The Charter is something they pay lip service to when they get caught with their pants down overpaying themselves and their less than talented ‘stars’.

  • Alias

    On the contrary, the Charter is its binding constitution. Hence all those programmes propping up British nationalism and good old British decency.

    But I can understand why the Catholic tribe in NI might like to ignore reality: broadcasting is a reserved matter, so the local hacks have no influence in that regard.

  • Alias

    “broadcasting is a reserved matter”

    Err, it’s actualy an excepted matter. Which means that the UK government decides the policy and the local administration merely implements it.

  • Alias

    Of course it is a binding constitution and the complacent power barons at the Beeb remember that whenever they get caught etc.

    Brit Nationalism? good old Brit decency? You wont find that at the Beeb. You will find those who prefer to be something they call British, rather than English. I believe the silly cow still reads the one o’clock news.

  • Pipakin,

    “The BBC is liberal, it is pro nationalist and pro socialist. Irish nationalism and Socialism have been trendy with champagne socialists for decades, ask Ken Livingstone.

    The Protestants are conservative, small c. This guarantees, apart from the liberal bias, that the patronising, superior, Beeb would be instinctively opposed to them.”

    That’s way too simplistic. They’ve definitely got a bias in favour of smartass folks who think we’s descended from monkeys, but there’s always been a disconnect between people who make decisions and people who consume the product.

    As politics becomes more populist, this disconnect will cause more resentment, but it doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing.

  • Paul Evans

    I agree with you, but pardon me if I take exception to some Labour donating ‘smartass’ thinking someone, anyone, especially me! is descended from monkeys, whilst they of course are superior beings sent from on high to show us the ‘error of our ways’.

  • Alias

    Pip, now I hate to argue with you, but I can earnestly assure you that the BBC does not and never will promote Irish nationalist interests. It exists solely as a state-sponsored agency to promote British national interests. In that regard, they’re much like the Shinners. 😉

  • I’ve no idea what you were actually saying in that last comment Pippakin.

  • cynic47

    Harry obviously can’t appreciate a bit of satire and fell into the trap of this thread hook line and sinker. I think his disappearance suggests that he has suddenly wised up. If he is so concerned why doesn’t he and his colleagues in the big house demand a debate on all the shortcomings of Martin and Gerry rather than sitting and nodding with them?

  • Alias

    Ok if you insist I will agree: the Beeb are SF supporters, not necessarily Irish nationalist supporters. Er you do realise when there is a united Ireland the Beeb is unlikely to ‘go away’, they will simply officially expand their audience, without of course getting the license fee.

    Paul Evans

    Im sorry let me elucidate: the Beeb talks down to people. We ‘little people’ cannot possibly be expected to fully understand the nuances. I resent that and I resent the greedy people who ‘rob the till’ whilst expounding their brand of socialism.

  • joeCanuck

    Ref an earlier comment, Michaelhenry is some brand of Unionist.

  • joe

    I will say this: there is more to him than studiously bad English…

  • Pippakin,

    And remind me, who is the ‘Labour donating smartass’?

  • Raymonds Back

    Could someone please ask Peter Robinson this: If the land was of no value to him, and if he gained no advantage, financial or otherwise, from selling it, then why did he buy it?

    Is he dense?

  • Panic, these ones like it up em.

    Infamy Infamy, they all have it Infamy

    from that Britih comedienne and assorted other comediennes.

  • Panic, these ones like it up em.

    Posted by Raymonds Back

    ” 24.Could someone please ask Peter Robinson this: If the land was of no value to him, and if he gained no advantage, financial or otherwise, from selling it, then why did he buy it?

    Is he dense? ”

    He accidently, inadverantly, stupidly and unluckily made a lot of money out of the deal. He is trying to convince us that he is not smart enough to pull this stroke.

    He is failing to convince us that he is too stupid to get this lucky.

    On the other hand he is looking pretty stupid trying too convince us he is stupid.

    I think that clarifies the situation ? ? ?

  • [quote][i]“broadcasting is a reserved matter”

    Err, it’s actualy an excepted matter. Which means that the UK government decides the policy and the local administration merely implements it.[/i] …. Posted by Alias on Apr 03, 2010 @ 07:30 PM [/quote]

    You may find if/when/as you dig deeper into archives and/or explore, that that was the perverted subversive case, although it has been corrected by forces which you will not find, but which you can now be more aware of, to better Server and BroadBandCast Special IntelAIgent Services to nations speaking peace unto nations.

    And should the BBC hierarchy and Trust deny those very clearly stated facts, then they are being decidedly economical with the truth, to the extent of bare-faced lying and professional negligence, and are therefore Not Fit for the Future and ITs Digital Great Game Purpose and AIMissions.

    And yes, you can quote that Word perfect, with no fear or expectation of denial or obfuscation.

    By Royal Charter and Agreement, is the BBC a Public Service and not an easily used for global abuse propaganda tool for whatever conspiratorial political cabal/dysfunctional self-serving party unit a General Election show for the Undereducated Masses rotates into the Harry Limelight of Media State Office. And for confirmation of those true facts, one needs only ask the the most recent and higher profiled New Labour Project abusers of Free Media such as a Campbell, Mandelson, Blair, Balls or Brown? And posed as a question because you know that they all have difficulty with the truth which is concealed with their grin and spin.

    If you want to know all about the use and abuse of television and how you get your news and world views which present future realities, virtually, have a read of the file made available for you here …. [b]CIA BBC Long-time Spy Partners …. April 3, 2010 [/b]…. http://cryptome.org/

    Have a nice day, y’all.

  • joeCanuck

    He only acted like a comedienne, Panic. It was, of course, good old Kenneth Williams.
    BTW, I used that line a few days ago on another Robinson thread.

  • joeCanuck

    If the land was of no value to him,….. then why did he buy it?

    Maybe his favourite board game when growing up was Monopoly.
    Then, having a fit of the head staggers one day, he might have got carried away and couldn’t resist such a good deal. Or was that his wife?

  • Mr Angry

    I just came across a rather interesting ad on gumtree!!

    http://belfast.gumtree.com/belfast/61/56509461.html

  • joeCanuck

    Funny, Mr.Angry.
    Wait a minute, No, it’s not!

  • Cynic2

    “I also don’t really like seeing English presenters on local NI news either”

    Remember, Gerry said you cant be a republican and a racist

  • Cynic2

    “old ‘weirdly’ shaped heads are a bugger”

    presumably they are that shape so they can fit in the electronics that are used to control them from

    * the MI% bunker in Holywood
    * Langley
    * that UFO over East Belfast

  • Panic, these ones like it up em.

    Posted by joeCanuck

    ” 3.He only acted like a comedienne, Panic. It was, of course, good old Kenneth Williams.
    BTW, I used that line a few days ago on another Robinson thread. ”

    It may have been planted in my subconsious (apologies for my plagerism)

    I was actually thinking Frankie Howerd (could’nt think of his name at the time). I would have been wrong though.

    Anyway Peter Robinson is doing his own “sit down” stuff at the moment and its rather good.

  • joeCanuck

    I would have been wrong though.

    Hmm. Maybe not, Panic. I was certain that it was Kenneth in Carry On Jack. But now you’ve put a wee doubt in my mind. 50 year old or so memories can be problematical.

  • joeCanuck

    Nope, it was Kenneth Williams. Not Carry on Jack; looks like Carry on Cleo.

  • Mike

    Robinson’s “they’re out to get me” comments were both pathetic and quite hilarious…BUT…

    Chris, don’t you feel a little silly about this now given the comments from another “Dear Leader” closer to your political tendancy, earlier today?