And the trade-off this time?

Earlier briefings that loyalist paramiltary groups had begun decommissioning suffered a set-back when it was reported that the ‘good’ UDA had demanded financial and political capital in return for such a move. The latest briefings appear to be that tomorrow the UVF/RHC will “say they have decommissioned all of their guns, ammunition and explosives. It is believed the UDA will confirm it has started to decommission its arsenal.” And, since everyone else is futuring, it is likely any statement will be as opaque as that of the Provisional IRA. What’s the trade-off this time? And what’s still to come? It is the inherent nature of The Process™. Adds Today’s Irish Times report. And NI Secretary of State Shaun Woodward’s statement.

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  • riddle me this

    What is to come?


    A statement from the UDA that is vague but encouraging.

    A statement from the General that is encouraging but vague.

    A denial from the government that is vague and discouraging.

    Lots of £££ to follow.

    No real progress in communities that need genuine help.

  • Future is not a sodding verb.

  • Pete Baker


    Follow the link.


    I’d future that your predictions would seem accurate.

  • Mick Fealty

    Oh it may not be in the OED, but it is around these here parts Chekov lad…

  • Ulidias_Story

    Chekov is right – future (like structure) is nowhere near a verb even if its use is around and about.

    Common usage doesn’t make it right in the same way that giving up an illegal possesion shouldn’t mean that a receipt of any of my contribtions to the Consolidated Fund.

  • joeCanuck

    The English language is one of the most flexible in the world in terms of borrowing, drifting, inventiveness. Accept it and live with it; in fact, celebrate it.

    Pedants; bah!

  • Big Maggie

    Good riddance to the Nationalist terrorists and now the Unionist terrorists.

    Not even Al Capone in his halcyon days could have fleeced a grateful government as these boys are doing. Amazing. Mo Mowlam had a lot to answer for.

  • “Future is not a sodding verb.”

    Chekov, for a Baconian our unsupernaturalist(?) blogger is making a bit of a pig’s ear of language. Will he take a pasting for the past 😉

    I can see a problem with prophesying but what’s wrong with forecasting or foretelling – or guessing? Get out the crystal balls for Mystic Meg!!

    Big Maggie, they haven’t gone away you know; they are some of the foundation blocks of the so-called peace process. Some have mutated into community representatives where they can soak up large wads of lottery and European funding and even disguise themselves as eco-tourists 🙂

  • Big Maggie


    “Some have mutated into community representatives”

    How much community service was Jackie McDonald and the rest of the charmers given this time out?

    And sodding is not an adjective :^)

  • Big Maggie, Jackie’s the bogeyman but that’s par for the (golf) course.

    PS I’d noted ‘sodding’ but I didn’t want to be too greedy 🙂

  • Big Maggie


    “Jackie’s the bogeyman but that’s par for the (golf) course.”

    LOL! I understand he used to be known as Colonel Bogeyman* before he was promoted to Brigadier :^)

    * Possibly too obscure a reference for our younger readers but relevant enough as we head ever deeper into the marching season.

  • joeCanuck

    Will the DUP be showing us the photographs they got?

  • Ulsters m homeland

    Congratulations Pete, you’ve broke your old record. Record now stands at 15 hyperlinks in 1 paragraph. lol 😀

  • “deeper into the marching season.”

    Ah yes, Big Maggie, Colonel Bogeyman marching to history’s tune – in Tina’s shoes [YouTube]:

    “Hitler only had one URL
    Himmler, his URLs were very small
    Goering had an unlinked URL
    And Goebbels had no URLs at all”

    Did you hear the one about a former Lady Mayor of Moyle who thought YouTube was an offensive remark? 😉

  • joeCanuck

    Do people still call others tube over there? It was very popular back in the seventies as I recall.

  • Rory Carr

    I must say that I was so encouraged by the UDA’s statement that it was destroying its guns that I felt moved to swear to Herself (yet again) that of course I was giving up the drink.

    This promise however was not convincing enough for Herself to loosen her grip on the Big Black Purse and slip yours truly a few bawbies to nip off for “an evening’s meditation in the nearest Buddhist temple” to calm me nerves.

    Maybe Jackie will have better luck with loosening Frau Woodward’s grip on her purse.

  • Big Maggie


    “Did you hear the one about a former Lady Mayor of Moyle who thought YouTube was an offensive remark? 😉 ”

    You naughty boy! I know you made it up but it reaches my inner tube :^)

  • Different Drummer

    Loyalist Soap Opera Omnibus

    The Haunted Opera House Act II

    In the great hall beneath the opera house Turgid the phantom has laid out a banquet. A great log fire blazes in the grate. Candle light flickers on gold goblets and sliver table ware.

    The phantom stands by the fire looking into the flames. He glances up at the clock on the mantle piece. Angered at the non appearance of his love Ms Purdy he picks up a poker and begins poking the fire.

    Sound of Footsteps off

    The Phantom: (not looking up from the fire) Martina – I knew you would come. For it is…

    The Phantom turns to see not the shape of the Maiden but the forlorn shape of Jackie Mc Donald.

    Phantom: What is the meaning of this intrusion?

    Jackie M: Ah come on neigh – stop acting as if ye don’t know me.

    Phantom: (Peering through the darkness) I may know you what of it? It does not mean that I wish to associate with you.

    Jackie M: Fine words I must say – ya weren’t so fussy when ya needed a few wee problems sorten out back when Ulster was fighting for its life.

    Phantom: What do you want of me you cur!!

    Jackie M: Neigh, Neigh – no need for that tone of voice – things have changed any how. Haven’t you heard – me and my band of brothers are neigh a community association set up to help the poor, the unfortunate and the incomeless.

    Ya see unlike the good-old-bad-old-days our role neigh is to work for Ulster by spreading happiness to all that needs it.

    Phantom (horrified) Happiness??!!

    JacKie M: Aye like to make sure that those that feel a little left out like can feel we are including them in things.

    Phantom: What is this strange talk – this quasi-quango lingo that you speak?

    Jackie M: Nothing quasi about it unless ya mean quasi modo haw haw haw

    Phantom: (aside) More like quasi more doe…

    Jackie M: Waa’ sat ye say?

    Phantom: I asked that you speak of your business with me or go.

    Jackie M: That’s it ye see we do have a new business. You wouldn’t believe how many people are interested in the new wee leaves that we have been turning over. And what do get for this service to the Community ?
    -The old cold shoulder! I mean some people simply don’t appreciate that we are their friends and want to help them.

    (He walks over to the table and picks up a chicken leg and starts chomping on it)

    Jackie M: Mmmmmmmm, very nice – nearly as good as Lord Woodhead’s kitchen Yes what was it we had? – oh yes duck in fresh herb sauce….

    Phantom: And what new dish are you proposing??!!

    Jackie M: Neigh, Neigh – all in good time -all in good time…

    (he walks away from the table chicken leg still in hand)

    Jackie M: I’ll send one of lads over to let you know what’s happening in a wee while….

    (he turns to face the Phantom) -Ya know I always thought this place would make a good underground neighborhood garden. (He looks around) yeah – a few spotlights -a few grow bags -little sprinkler system…

    (He looks at what’s left of the chicken leg in his hand)

    Oh sorry this is your’s (he throws the chicken leg at the Phantom the Phantom steps deftly aside and the chicken leg hits the fire and sizzles).

    Phantom: Give my regards to Lord Woodhead

    Jackie M: (Departing) I Will, I Will!!

  • kensei


    In fairness, that one can actually be read from start to finish and make sense. Which is improvement.

    On topic – I am confused. Has the equivalent of the IRAs decomissioning four years ago happened or not?

  • Different Drummer

    Some find life here a bit baffling (with or with out typos)