“We’re going to be praying that doesn’t happen..”

The election may be over but the satire never ends.. Onion News Bulletin.

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

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  • Ann

    Satire? or Saturation?

  • Ulsters my homeland

    Why’s he called a black man when his mother is white?

  • dodrade

    “Why’s he called a black man when his mother is white?”

    Fifty years ago the KKK would have considered Obama black enough to lynch, so let’s hear no more nonsense about him not being black enough, or not authentically African-American because his great great grandparents weren’t slaves.

  • Ulsters my homeland

    what are you saying dodrade… are we expected to classify Mr. Obama’s ethnicity based on what the KKK think of him? surely that would play into their hands?

  • SPUMH

    1. Why do some N.I. unionists call themselves British when they are really Irish?
    2. Why do some geographically challenged unionists insist on calling two thirds of a province Ulster?

  • susan

    This stuff isn’t hard, UMH. President Elect Obama is called a black man because by his physical appearance alone he would be perceived as a black man anywhere in the United States on this day in November, 2008.

    I’d inquire why you ask, but find I really don’t care to know.

    November 3rd I was doing some research in the New YOrk Public Library, and frantically trying to finish because the library would be closed on the 4th, for Election Day, and I was also flying from LaGuardia to Chicago O’Hare the afternoon on the 4th. I couldn’t figure out why the dignified, older, black guard went out of his way to assist me (and only me) in staying well past the last available minutes past closing until I stepped back out onto Fifth and 42nd and remembered I was wearing an enormous red, white, and blue “Obama Mama” button over my white sweater.

    Coincidence? I doubt it. But I walked to Grand Central thinking of the journey that nice guard’s country had travelled in his lifetime, and I remembered a notable Chicagoan I was honored to meet before she passed in 2003, Mamie Till Mobley, the mother of Emmett Till. A Chicago public schoolteacher, many say Mamie Till Mobley’s insistence on an open casket and public viewing and funeral for her son Emmett after he was tortured and murdered for whistling at a white woman in 1955 lit a torch for the American Civil Rights movement.

    Like so many who suffer and survive the brutal death of a loved one, Mamie Till Mobley was most remarkable in the extraordinary ordinariness of her humour, kindness and God given dignity.

    The peaceful and undisputed election of an African American president is quite a journey for the nation where Barack Obama was born six years after the torture and murder of Emmet Till. Don’t know why this thread and UMH’s questions put me in mind of that journey, but they have.

  • Ulsters my homeland

    susan

    [i]”This stuff isn’t hard, UMH. President Elect Obama is called a black man because by his physical appearance alone he would be perceived as a black man anywhere in the United States on this day in November, 2008.”[/i]

    sometimes I look at him and I think he’s no different to those beside him (and they’re classed as white)

    “[i]I’d inquire why you ask, but find I really don’t care to know.”[/i]

    I’d ask why you replied?

  • susan

    I replied because I had something I wanted to say.

  • William

    The color of Obama’s skin is unimportant…..the thoughts in his mind are, as they are the thoughts of the Socalist, neo Marxist who will be a disaster for the great USA.

    Obama is a guy who can’t show respect for his country’s national anthem nor flag, yet teels the world during his acceptance speech, God Bless America….God help America would have been more appropriate.

  • wild turkey

    ‘Why’s he called a black man when his mother is white? ‘

    Well UMH, let’s speculate. It might be because if you didn’t know who he was and you just happened to see walking one the queens highway in ulster, you would probably label him a black man. Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe you’d call him something else… Shit, I must be feeling generous. There’s your cue to crack that whip of righteous indignation and disingenuity.

    Susan. I suspect the guard in the library was prescient enough to know that perhaps, just perhaps, his america would not be ruled into perpetuity by the swill of self-righteous willfully ignorant crackers.

    William, I see you include mind reading and astute psychoanalysis amongst your catalogue of numerous gifts. Just keep givin those pinkos hell bubba.

  • Greenflag

    Susan ,

    UMH and Wiliam Ulsterman are upset . They’re just not happy about this election ye see . What pisses them off even more than a blackman/Afro American being elected President of the United States is that the Vice Presidentelect is a self proclamed Irish Catholic .

    Pair of narrow minded shitehawks these lads and that’s the sum of it . The entire world is leaving them behind and the sooner the better .

    These pair of gobshites were not concerned in the least about the skin colour of the present incumbent and his war mongering VP as they led the charge in a ruinous foreign war which costs 12 billion dollars a month and has claimed the lives of 500,000 people or more . Not content with this these ‘whiteys ‘ screwed up the entire economy through their negligence and sheer incompetence . But hey they’re white folks so it’s okay .

    Such is the level of discourse from messrs UMH and William 🙁

    With greatminds like this pair of gobshites no wonder Northern Ireland is a political asylum for failed retards 🙁

  • 6countyprod

    Maybe a little off topic, but what the heck.

    For all you broadminded folks out there in SluggerLand, here are a couple of pieces to balance the continuing spewing of acidic vomit from those still suffering from BDS.

    WSJ – The Treatment of Bush Has Been a Disgrace

    WashPost – The Decency of George Bush

  • Pete Baker

    Guys

    We’re in the humour category?

    Try to keep it civil.

  • Ulsters my homeland

    Pete, civil is not the answer. Some members are just plain ignorant.

  • latcheeco

    There’s a text message going round telling all southern white people to report for induction on Friday morning at eight at the local cotton field.

  • SPUMH

    That is funny , latcheeco.

    code word is “true”

  • joeCanuck

    Here’s a good article that explains why Obama is considered to be black.

    http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/45830,features,coloureds-of-africa-wont-claim-mixed-race-barack-obama

  • In terms of getting thrown out of a Mobile bar in 1955 Obama is black.

    In terms of running for office in Chicago he is not black enough. Big problem.

    He is a light-skinned kid from Hawaii, raised in the white culture. He has a life story which is beyond exotic when compared with the life experience on the south side of Chicago.

    He is unlike any of our black politicians of the Jessie Jackson brand insofar as he is an integrated mixed race man. He was not raised to be hardwired into the black-is-beautiful and separatist mantras that emerged when SNCC and CORE drummed the white kids out of the civil rights movement in the early 60’s.

    Hence the need for Trinity and the Reverend Wright. He needed to mix with the industrial-strength, heavy-duty Chicago black culture to rebrand himself in the eyes of the black community, his constituency.

    When that served it’s purpose, syanora Reverend Wright.

  • Harry Flashman

    Susan sent me a funny viral internet video which cleverly used humour to urge Obama supporters to get out the vote. I thought it so funny I forwarded it on to my Obama obsessed friend in Virginia who then sent it on to her friends.

    In the same spirit and following a civilised couple of emails in which we discussed the future of an Obama presidency (I’m hopeful he won’t screw up too much but beyond that I’m neither in the “Second Coming of Jesus” nor “Load up boys, the barbarians are at the gate” camps, at the end of the day he’s just a politician who won an election) I forwarded on this video. I assumed she would see the humour in it, after all she was the one who shrieked in hysterical laughter at the Tina Fey send up of Sarah Palin.

    This morning I got the most ferocious email from her, telling me not to send such “right wing, hate filled trash” to her ever again.

    I rather fear this video isn’t satire at all but accurately reflects the mentality of some Obama fans, some of them make the Moonies look rational.

    PS My children are mixed race. I have no problem with them being described as Asian, and they are fully versed in their Asian culture but just for the record they’re Irish too and I’d get a bit bloody sniffy if someone refused to acknowledge that half of their heritage. Obama’s mother was white, he was raised by his white grandmother (the only person in the family with any sense, a pity she never lived to see his momentous achievement), call him black by all means but don’t airbrush out his white origins.

  • Rory

    “Guys,
    We’re in the humour category? ”

    With contributions like, The Treatment of Bush Has Been a Disgrace and The Decency of George Bush , we most certainly are, Pete. It just doesn’t get funnier than this.

  • susan

    ‘Arry, that’s ‘orrible. This video itself is harmless. It’s irksome when some are so deaf and blind to history’s sweep they cannot train their lens to examine the American elections beyond the level of snideness and snark, but I wouldn’t put you in that category. Mind, I haven’t a clue what category I would put you in, you’d have to be penned in a sheepcote all your own I suppose.

    It’s a pleasant byproduct of this election that mixed race children the world over, not just in America, can see a President they can see some mirror of themselves in. I would imagine genetically most Americans who’ve been in the country several generations are mixed race, going back long before the time of Thomas Jefferson.

    And quite right your children are Irish, Harry, just as the Dunhams were elemental in the raising and shaping of Obama. But UMH if you would just consider for a few moments that Thomas Jefferson was at once the author of the Declaration of Independence, the third President of the young republic, a father of both white and mixed race children, a father and an owner of slaves he might understand why your questioning at this moment of whether America’s first African American president is even black seemed at best a non sequitur of epic proportion.

    6countyprod I read anything and everything in the WSJ except the editorials because they literally make my skin flush which can lead to breakouts, but I read your Post piece on GWB and found much in it I would agree to. It was the tragedy of George W. Bush’s life and his administration that his Vice Presidential Search committee chaired by Dick Cheney snared him into choosing Cheney as his Vice President. If he’d chosen a Vice President half as wisely as he chose a wife we’d all be sleeping in a safer world.

  • susan

    Rory, I beg to differ. For gut-busting laugh riots we will never beat Pete’s solemn-eyed sixteen inch exegisis of Troopergate. Dysfunctional Polar Rim families never had it so good before nor since.

  • circles

    Thanks for those links 6CP – it was interesting to read opinion pieces trying to shore up the ruins of Bush’s 8 years.

    The Post piece could have come straight out of The Onion though. To try and sell the decreased level of violence in Iraq as a miraculous achievement of Bush is criminally shameless. To sum it up – after hundreds of thousands of deaths resulting from Bush’s decision to invade, he does something to decrease the death rate. Wow – this man’s a genius! Of course to buy this bull you have to forget that he created the chaos in the first place.
    I’m also surprised that you would buy the completely and utter tosh of Bush identifying with “the dying African child”. Thats a plain and simple insult and a complete load of utter bollocks as you should well know. But considering that Gerson was busy for 7 years putting words into the mangle of Bush’s mouth he’s hardly likely to say the man was a complete failure. Of course over 8 years Bush had to do at least something right – but I don’t think a broken clock should be elevated to a quality timepiece for the sake of the 2 times a day yu can rely on it.

    Shapiro’s piece was equally unconvincing. The premise that “c’mon fellas he had a hard time, we shouldn’t be getting on his back” in no way excuses or explains his disastrous presidency. His treament may have been a disgrace but so was his behaviour. Simply being president does not and should not be an automatic ticket to respect and freedom from criticism, thats one of the things about democracy – and this applies equally to the president elect as it does the departing president.

    I’d also disagree with you susan in that Bush would have never been President without Cheney.

  • Greenflag

    ‘Hence the need for Trinity and the Reverend Wright etc etc ‘

    Deja vu then .

    Hence the need for a Turd Force for Paisley . He needed to mix with the industrial-strength, heavy-duty Loyalist working class culture to rebrand himself in the eyes of the ultra unionist community, his constituency.
    When that served it’s purpose, goodbye working class Loyalists hello FM Reverend Ian.

    And all for what? A political pot not worth pissin in 🙁

    Sometimes comedy is just not funny 🙁

  • circles

    Joe that article would be a hell of a lot more useful if it didn’t take the Sarah-Palin-lazy-highway of reducing a continent of 53 independent countries and a total population of almost 1 billion to a relatively simple gelatinous mass of “Africans” as if it were a single country.

    Russell’s personal experience in Zambia with a small group of people (in a country with around 1% of the population of the entire continent) cannot be expanded to blanket cover the entire continent in any kind of credible way – the headline alone is complete nonsense.

  • Greenflag

    HF ,

    ‘My children are mixed race.’

    Harry there is only ONE human race. There are on the other hand thousands of ethnic groups . The last other remaining ‘race’ of hominioids the ‘neanderthals’ became extinct about 30,000 years ago . Prior to their extinction there were several other groups of hominidae (human races) -homo ergaster , homo habilis , homo boisie and homo heidelbergensis -up to 20 different others according to some paleo -anthropologists. These other ‘races’ are no longer around due mainly to the vagaries of climatic change , ice ages , etc etc etc . We ‘humans ‘ made it through not because it was ordained so but because of the luck of the draw .

    So your kids are of mixed ‘ethnicity ‘ . Asian is not a race neither is European nor Irish nor English nor German , Russian or Fulani. Asians are just as muti ethnic as Africans , or Europeans or Amerindians . The West Asians are closer in ethnicity and language to Europeans than East Asians, although the latter are closer to Europeans in their level of economic development and their lack of extreme ‘religious’ fervor . There is also a huge range of ‘skin colour ‘ among Asians from the pale skinned Han of Northern China to the darker people of sub tropical Asia .

    Have a read up on Matt Ridley’s ‘Genome ‘ for a scientific insight into just how many genes it takes to ‘change ‘ skin colour . It’s not an ‘impressive ‘ number compared to the total genetic make up of any individual.

  • susan

    Circles, where would you get the idea that I ever said or thought Bush would never have been president without Cheney? It is so plainly not what I said. Cheney’s influence and mendacity were the single greatest error and tragedy of the Bush years. In damage to the COnstitution, to the environment, above all in lives and treasure squandered overseas. Incalculable damage.

    But I stand by what I said, there are things in the Gerson piece I agree with, no matter it is Gerson who is saying them. Mainly about W’s decency in his openness to immigration reform that included a path towards legalisation for the undocumented, and aid for AIDS. He was decent on both those issues, all the more surprising considering the rank and volume of the cold-hearted bastards he was surrounded with.

  • Harry Flashman

    Elsewhere I came across an interesting observation on this Palin/Africa non-story (I mean I just mentioned my kids are “Asian” does that mean I’m a stupid moron because I don’t specifically refer to their mother’s actual nationality? If I say I had a nice holiday in the Caribbean am I a dunce?). Joe Biden said half a dozen more stupid things on air in the vp debate than Palin is alleged to have said (by some seriously vindictive members of McCain’s staff it has to be said) in the prep sessions before the debate, but Biden’s idiocies seemed to pass without remark.

    The observation was on a conservative weblog to the effect that the election is over, Obama won, but who are they still talking about? Is anyone talking about McCain, despite his advisers desperate attempts at blame shifting? Is there a single news story about Joe Biden?

    No, they’re still obsessing about Sarah Palin, they still can’t get over Sarah Palin.

    Why is that? Surely the wicked witch of the west is dead, there’s no reason still to endlessly discuss her nine short weeks in the spotlight? She’s gone away back to Alaska to hunt moose but oddly everyone is still talking about her.

    What is it about Sarah Palin that still gives them the heebyjeebies? Why does she still haunt their waking hours if she’s such a no account lightweight? Why must they still hammer on about her long after passing quietly over the now forgotten John McCain?

    Who do you think the Republicans will be putting up for election next time around?

    Oh yes. You betcha!

  • Harry Flashman

    GF, if there’s no such thing as race can you tell me what the word racist means?

    If some mouth breather makes a rude comment about my children’s skin tone or the shape of their eyes what should I call them, a “genomist”?

  • susan

    lol, Harry F. Sometimes you’re on a rock, sometimes you are on a roll.

  • Harry Flashman

    Susan love if I always conformed to your expectations you’d never bother reading my posts now would you?

    All the best it’s late here, goodnight.

  • circles

    Hi susan “Circles, where would you get the idea that I ever said or thought Bush would never have been president without Cheney? It is so plainly not what I said.”
    I know – it is actually what I meant to say, but maybe the fomulation wasn’t clear enough. Without Daddy’s cohorts I think it is extremely unlikey that Bush would ever have made it to the presidency – so Cheney was both curse and blessing.

  • latcheeco

    Susan,
    Just a quibble but isn’t the jury still out on Sally Hemmings and Jefferson having offspring?

  • latcheeco

    Harry,
    I sincerely hope you are right. She’s the gift that keeps on giving. I would have imagined you would take voluntary retirement from the Palin predictions game. It’s like floggin’ a dead pig. The point is that you thought giving her the keys of the kingdom was a stunningly good proposition when it turns out she didn’t even know which three countries were in NAFTA.

  • circles

    Harry I think you’re going to have to fight 6 County Prod over Governor Palin, as you seem to be down to the last 2 die hard fans on here.

    Frankly I’m not surprised that people are still talking about her – after all, she was the major blunder and embarassment of the McCain campaign. Now that the votes have been counted and the GOP examines its belly button its normal they ask themselves what that woman was on about. And I credit the leadership of the republican party with a bit more intelligence than you seem to, and do not expect to see her as the presidential candidate in 2012. A polarising, right wing, ultra conservative, with sharp elbows and who wears her ignorance with pride is about the last thing they need in their rehabilitation.

  • Greenflag

    harry faintheart ,

    ‘If some mouth breather makes a rude comment about my children’s skin tone or the shape of their eyes what should I call them, a “genomist”?’

    I would’nt call them anything . But I do recommend a head butt followed by punch to the nose and cap it off with a kick in the nether parts . You’ll find it works wonders ;).

    ‘if there’s no such thing as race can you tell me what the word racist means? ‘

    It means an ignorant semi illiterate gobshite who insults people because of their skin colour. Usually correlates with those of an IQ in the range 25 to 88 🙁

  • Harry Flashman

    Fair enough GF. (I had worked out the way to deal with any such toe rag myself by the way, after all you can take the boy out of Derry but you can’t take Derry out of the boy)

  • joeCanuck

    isn’t the jury still out on Sally Hemmings and Jefferson having offspring?

    Nope. DNA testing was done last year which confirmed it. Descendants have since attended a family reunion.