“Too Nordic. Too gloomy.”

More of an aside to our regular scheduling, but it made me smile.. Hey, it’s Saturday and I’m easily pleased [You are?! – Ed]. John Patterson in the Guardian compares and contrasts the arthouse films of Ingmar Bergman, “the northern Protestant miserablist”, and Federico Fellini, “the Catholic of the exuberant south”, commenting – “One of them needed to liven up, and the other to calm down.” ANYhoo.. with the re-issue of Bergman’s The Seventh Seal to mark its 50th anniversay, he suggests a make-over is in order..

So, in the absence of Fellini, I recommend that all of Bergman’s movies be resubmitted to John Waters and the makers of Hairspray, for a once-in-a-lifetime makeover. Thus The Seventh Seal, which is so bogged down in medieval misery and feudalistic faffing about, would be a whole new prospect for moviegoers if it was bulked up with a few song and dance numbers and a fat drag act in the lead. I can really see the late, great Divine, 300lb star of the Waters original, all togged up in that Death outfit, but with added sequins, a straining lace-up leather cleavage-section, and a pink frightwig. Max Von Sydow wouldn’t look half as chipper if he was confronted with the likes of that on the beach.