Jokes are both very important and very unimportant…

I hate to continue being boring and turgid about so light and throwaway a subject as humour, but reader Ryan, in response to a recent controversy on Slugger sends me this study from the Social Affairs Unit on Humour, and how a certain body of opinion with the liberal establishment regards “…jokes as promoting unacceptable political or social attitudes and that such jokes should thus be subject to censorship”.

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  • jaun

    the FBI are now looking to possible terrorist causes for the new Orleans disaster, sources claim to have overheard Whitehouse murmurings about ‘suicide plumbers’

  • URQUHART

    The Liberal Establishment. You gotta love it.

  • smcgiff

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

    He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction. “Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Ashcroft said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.”

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of Maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

    White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

  • Christopher Eastwood

    LOL! That’s what it’s all about smcgiff… absolutely brilliant! 😉

  • circles

    My favourite joke is much too long to tell here, but for those interested, the punchline is:
    “Potatoes! Potatoes”

  • CW

    It’s not that long ago since the most popular British comedians of the day from the two Ronnies to Kenny Everett, Benny Hill and even the supposedly more sophisticated “alternative” acts like “Not the 9 o’clock News” could get away with telling Irish jokes. Nowadays you can be prosecuted for that sort of thing. My point here isn’t whether this is a good or bad thing, but a reflection of how radically times have changed…

  • smcgiff

    “Potatoes! Potatoes”

    Unfortunately that’s the punchline to 73 different jokes currently doing the rounds. You’ll have to be more specific! 🙂

  • circles

    Yeah its a classic punchline isn’t it?

  • Brenda

    So in the west we want free speech but censure humour.

    what an awful lot of bother about one thread by gonzo. He has a good political head on his shoulders, puts up thread after thread with out any bother for ages now, and one thread which some feel was in bad taste and look at all this fuss. It really is over the top.

  • smcgiff

    I don’t get it Brenda, was ‘It really is over the top.’ a double entendre?!?

  • Donnie

    During a White House briefing President Bush’s face went ashen and his jaw dropped as he was told by an aide that 3 Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq.

    “Exactly how many is a brazilian?” asked President Bush….

    Boom boom!

  • paid

    Reports are coming in of an explosion in a London Underground station, 20 commuters have been stuck to the wall of a station.

    Metropolitan police believe it is the first example of an IRA ‘No More Nails’ Bomb.

  • lib2016

    Nationalist trolls, unionist trolls, and provocateurs of all varieties are boring. Please go away and play elsewhere. Plenty of other sites on the web.

  • smcgiff

    ‘Nationalist trolls, unionist trolls, and provocateurs of all varieties are boring. Please go away and play elsewhere. Plenty of other sites on the web.’

    Where did that tirade come from?

    I’ll tell you what. Set up your own blog, with your own rules and see how popular it becomes if Slugger isn’t serious enough for you.

    Humour can help transcend mere histrionics such as religion – something a poster with a name like lib2016 should appreciate. Or does Lib2016 stand for the Lib Dems getting an overall majority in the House of Commons by 2016?

  • Dread Cthulhu

    Eastwood: “LOL! That’s what it’s all about smcgiff… absolutely brilliant! 😉 ”

    Except he got the A.G. wrong… kinda spoils the impact, leastwise for those who have been paying attention.

  • circles

    lib2016 – that was indeed a bit of a rant. I thought you had just got the wrong thread see, cos this one is about jokes.
    For laughing and things like that.
    Or do you also believe that “jokes promoting unacceptable political or social attitudes… should thus be subject to censorship”.

    Not much lib in that.

  • smcgiff

    ‘Except he got the A.G. wrong… kinda spoils the impact, leastwise for those who have been paying attention.’

    That joke’s been around for a number of years (Not mine – in case I need to add), and could be updated somewhat. But if that ruins a joke for you, the next time someone asks you a knock knock joke, tell them you know who it is and there’s no point in asking who they are! 🙂

  • christopher Eastwood

    LOL… Thanks again, smcgiff… for saving me from making a response! No effect on the impact whatsoever. Best joke i’ve heard in donkeys. Reading the 1985 Companies Act all morning was hardly the most humerous activity, and tchat cracker really put a smile on my face 😉

  • smcgiff

    ‘and tchat cracker really put a smile on my face ;-)’

    It’s the way I tell ’em! 😉

    Good luck with the companies act, but If I’d my way you’d be reading the Companies act, 1986! 😉

  • christopher Eastwood

    Needless to say, I meant “humorous”, not “humerous”. I may not be able to type properly, but at least I can take a joke. Evidently unlike some of the posters today. Did you pass on your morning coffee, lib? 😉

  • christopher Eastwood

    Smcgiff… there’s no such thing! So, as much as i’d like to give you your way, it’s just not possible!

    There was, of course, the 1986 Companies (NI) Order, as applies over here (though that’s not what i’ve been reading)…

    Is that what you meant? lol…. 😉

  • christopher Eastwood

    What’s the difference between the Iraq War and the Vietnam War?

    George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War 😉

  • Greenflag

    ‘What was the difference between Chamberlain and Adolf Hitler ?

    The former was known to take a week end in the country and the latter to take a country in a weekend.

  • Mustapha Mond

    Scots-Irish flasher

    Sean MacCockoff

    I’ll get me coat

  • smcgiff

    ‘There was, of course, the 1986 Companies (NI) Order, as applies over here (though that’s not what i’ve been reading)…’

    You see, we’re mighty clever in the Republic, we wait until the British update their companies act(s) then we take it on board and improve on it in the following year! 🙂

  • christopher Eastwood

    Oh I see! lol… sorry my man… you’re “south of the aul line”…

    Very clever indeed 😉

    Now i understand why you’d “prefer” I was reading the 1986 Act… if it’s any consolation, smcgiff, so would I….

  • smcgiff

    ‘Now i understand why you’d “prefer” I was reading the 1986 Act… if it’s any consolation, smcgiff, so would I….’

    Now, if we could only stop the NHS funding ‘Humour Bypasses’ we might have some chance! 🙂

  • christopher Eastwood

    lol…

    I’m never one to advocate the “analysis of humour”… my reason is that it achieves little, except for rendering the joke no longer funny.

    Yet it never ceases to amaze me the quasi-schizophrenia of supposedly “sane” human beings. When they are in “humour mode” they are able to lighten up and see the absurdity of things very easily. Never be serious to someone in such a mood, at least not if you’re expecting a serious response! At other times, when people are in “serious mode”, so to speak, they seem unable to import any humour at all into their reasoning.

    What is needed is a fusion of the two… “In Praise of Folly”… indeed. People who take themselves too seriously are the very people others find it hardest to take seriously!

  • GurnyGub

    Did you hear about the Unionist/Shinner with an inferiority complex?
    He thought he was the same as everybody else…

  • Dread Cthulhu

    scmgiff: “That joke’s been around for a number of years (Not mine – in case I need to add), and could be updated somewhat. But if that ruins a joke for you, the next time someone asks you a knock knock joke, tell them you know who it is and there’s no point in asking who they are! 🙂 ”

    Unless the teller is under the age of 10, I usually don’t indulge in “knock knock” jokes, and then only grudgingly.

    Greenflag: “’What was the difference between Chamberlain and Adolf Hitler ?

    The former was known to take a week end in the country and the latter to take a country in a weekend. ”

    I thought its was the latter was known to take a weekend in the country, whilst the former would give one away in the same period of time.

  • What do you call a black airline pilot?

    An airline pilot, you illiberal racist hypocrites.

  • Margaret

    Censor this Slugger: a totally non-PC tale from British racing – straight from the horse’s ?!$>.

    A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm “I’d like to buy a horth” He says
    to the owner of the farm.
    “What sort of horse?” said the owner.
    “A female horth” the dwarf replies.
    So the owner shows him a mare.
    “Nithe horth.” says the dwarf, “Can I thee her eyeth?”
    So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes.
    “Nithe eyeth.”, says the dwarf, “Can I thee her teeth?”
    Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
    “Nithe teeth…. can I see her eerth?” the dwarf says.
    By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf
    to show him the horses ears.
    “Nithe eerth.’ he says ‘Now…can I see her twot?”
    With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves
    his head deep inside the horses vagina.
    He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and
    putting him down.
    The dwarf shakes his head and says: “Perhaps I should weefwaze that…
    “Can I see her wun awound?””

  • circles

    Why did the lisp change to a problem with pronouncing the letter “R”? Makes no sense.

  • esmereldavillalobos

    Yeah, we’ve gone from Pontius Pilate to Biggus Dickus haven’t we? I chuckled again though…

  • circles

    Naw from Bigguth to Pontius rather.
    My but yer easily tickled!

  • esmereldavillalobos

    D’OH!

    Too much python on Satuday night, I’ve come over all confused…

  • Brenda

    Margaret very good. LOL.

  • Rory

    I’m sure, Margaret, that , if not yer momma, surely the nuns, advised you not to go around rollimg your “R’s”. You be getting guys like Circles all agitated and unable to differentiate between they own selves and a horse’s ass.

    I blame that Al Gore meself. Sorta yucky name for a man for peace.