Eliminating the impossible…

More black humour. David Vance plumps for the tooth fairy in his line up of suspects, but Andy Wood has the best word on the Donaldson killing (keep thinking ‘cui bono’):

“…of course the IRA didn’t kill Denis Donaldson – perish the unworthy thought. At least, not the IRA we have come to know and love, the IRA whose shopfront boasts: “Under new management” no connection with any organisation previously trading under a similar name and operating from these premises. I hope that is clear. P O’Neill says the IRA didn’t do it and Gerry Adams says the Republican Movement (that’s the Republican Movement as in ‘under new management and … connection with etc etc’) had no involvement in Donaldson’s death.

There can be therefore no doubt. Except as to who actually did it. Sherlock Holmes – for whom this would not be a taxing investigation – used to say that “when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains – however improbable – must be the answer”. Applying Holmesian logic to this situation, we can therefore rule out: the Provincial Building Society, the Knights of St Columba, the crew of the Titanic, West Bromwich Albion, the Seventh Ballygonowhere Cub Pack, St Teresa’s over-seventies Camogie Club, the entire staff of B&Q and a few more.

All of which points to and leaves only… but you’re ahead of me there, my dear Watson…

  • The Devil

    That is stunningly brilliant, I am impressed no end.

  • The Butler

    Read my lips, it wasn’t me who did it!

    And it’s time all you reactionary Prods realised that trying to blame everything on me is a waste of time. It won’t get you one minute closer to walking the Garvaghy Road.