Satirist Craig Brown has written a sequel to
his the previous interpretation of history, by W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman, 1066 and All That, this time focusing on the 20th Century that might have been – 1966 and All That. The Guardian, helpfully, provides some extracts, including this from the history of The Sixties – the decade in which the condition of Ulcer was finally diagnosed..
The Condition Of Ulcer. In the late 1960s, the British discovered Northern Ireland, later diagnosed as Ulcer. Northern Ireland was famous for the Troubles, a centuries-old dispute understood only by a handful of historians, who all disagreed about it anyway. On the one side were the Onionists, who were not to be sniffed at. They were led by the Reverend Elvis Presley, who campaigned under the slogan “Nose Surrender”. The Onionists wore suits and bowler hats and spent their time calling for apologies.
On the other side were the Publicans, led by Gerry Addams of the famous Addams Family, who campaigned under the slogan “Bits Out”. The Publicans wore balaclavas and spent their time refusing to apologise.