understood only by a handful of historians..

Satirist Craig Brown has written a sequel to his the previous interpretation of history, by W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman, 1066 and All That, this time focusing on the 20th Century that might have been – 1966 and All That. The Guardian, helpfully, provides some extracts, including this from the history of The Sixties – the decade in which the condition of Ulcer was finally diagnosed..

The Condition Of Ulcer. In the late 1960s, the British discovered Northern Ireland, later diagnosed as Ulcer. Northern Ireland was famous for the Troubles, a centuries-old dispute understood only by a handful of historians, who all disagreed about it anyway. On the one side were the Onionists, who were not to be sniffed at. They were led by the Reverend Elvis Presley, who campaigned under the slogan “Nose Surrender”. The Onionists wore suits and bowler hats and spent their time calling for apologies.

On the other side were the Publicans, led by Gerry Addams of the famous Addams Family, who campaigned under the slogan “Bits Out”. The Publicans wore balaclavas and spent their time refusing to apologise.

heh

  • Richard Dowling

    The leader of the Onionists was, in fact, Noah Surinder, who
    was rescued from the Black Hole of Calcutta and fought a
    rearguard action for Nelson at Trafalgar. He joined the Ulster
    cricket team as a Bowler, and was noted for his wicked delivery
    before emigrating to Boston as a free agent anad joined the
    Red Sox. His ‘airs and graces’, as his family became known,
    started the Boston Tea Party as a prank, and had to flee to
    Canada when war broke out. He converted from Islam to
    Sikhism, bought a taxi-cab franchise (black and orange livery)
    and the rest is history. He moved from Orangeville to Memphis.
    Built the famous Graceland estate. Established an iron and
    steel business. And returned to Belfast to found ‘Harland and
    Wolfe and Noah Surinder’ of Northern Iron. “Noah Surinder”
    gave up Sikhism and baseball. It just wasn’t cricket, you see.
    He became his majesty’s good servant — but Norn Iron’s first.

  • fmk

    on a point of pedantry, brown had nothing to do with ‘1066 and all that’ – that’s the sellar / yateman classic, which probably even predates brown’s own birth by a couple of decades. and, quite frankly, brown’s efforts (much as i love his spoofs in private eye and elsewhere) aren’t up to the (much imitated but rarely bettered) sellar / yateman wit.

  • Pete Baker

    You’re quite right, fmk.. my apologies.. it’s even pointed out at the amazon link. Doh!

    I’ll amend the post.