Not so insular after all?

Following my article last week on the Indian Mela festival, which took part in Belfast, it seems Carrickfergus has got on board the ethnic culture bandwagon. It’s hosting a Mini-Matsuri Japanese Festival, organised by the Japan Society of Northern Ireland. Taiko drummers, food tasting, calligraphy, origami and a special tea making ceremony happened this afternoon in the Carrickfergus Museum & Civic Centre.

However, elsewhere normal service was as usual, with the Hillsborough Annual Oyster Festival being evacuated after a warning that several devices had been left in the village.

  • Denny Boy

    Sorry to learn about Hillsborough and somebody ruining their festival.

    BTW … isn’t Hillsborough an INLAND town? What were they doing hosting an oyster festival? Prairie oysters maybe?

  • James Orr

    DB,
    yep you’re right. but the upper middle class patrons of the festival fail to see the irony in this. the oyster can be viewed as an expression of their personal wealth and pampered luxury lifestyles rather than their understanding of geography!

  • willis

    Surely not limpet mines!

  • fair_deal

    My heart bleeds for the bourgeoisie. Power to the people.

  • Denny Boy

    Hillsborough, yes. I can’t say I know it well but I do recall stopping off there once or twice for a bite to eat. It was each time in a (very decent) little pub-restaurant opposite the tourist office. To the right of the office there’s a row of three tall Georgian townhouses leading on to the gates of Hillsborough Castle. All very grand and civilized.

    Now normally I wouldn’t pay much attention to such things, having been brought up in Dublin where Georgian buildings are as common as muck, but I did notice something odd. The owners had painted their hall-doors respectively red, white and blue.

    To be sure, a chap is entitled to paint his door fluorescent pink if he feels so inclined, but it set me to thinking. At some juncture, the three owners of those houses must have got together and opted consciously and unanimously for red, white and blue. This is, as fair_deal says, the “bourgeoisie”. So I got to thinking: are they in any way more evolved than the cretins who paint the kerbstones at the entrance to their housing estates?

  • GurnyGub

    Aynjels on hoarsebeck ennywun?

    Shouldn’t join in the general schadenfreude, because of the circumstances, but should be some bargains tomorrow. The people on the hill are entitled to the shits like anyone

  • fair_deal

    “I did notice something odd. The owners had painted their hall-doors respectively red, white and blue. To be sure, a chap is entitled to paint his door fluorescent pink if he feels so inclined, but it set me to thinking. At some juncture, the three owners of those houses must have got together and opted consciously and unanimously for red, white and blue. So I got to thinking: are they in any way more evolved than the cretins who paint the kerbstones at the entrance to their housing estates?”

    FFS. Beep Beep Beep the MOPEry XL Radar – 100% guaranteed to find sectarianism even when it isn’t there!?!

    Please produce one single piece of evidence (beyond a fevered imaginaion) that the residents of those homes ‘colluded’ together and their motivation was sectarianism?

  • Loyalist on Tour

    Magalluf South-Europe Battalion UDA / UFF.

    Northern Ireland 2-0 Azerbaijan

    P.S. “Denny Boy” is a very sad person – he needs to get a life rather than attack Carrick people just because it is a predominantly Protestant town with Loyalist residents!

  • Denny Boy

    fair-deal

    Ahem, there are 7 colours in the spectrum, excluding black and white. We are not talking secondary colours, nor are we including tertiary or any tint thereof. There are no primaries either.

    You want evidence? You can Do It Yourself. Pop into your local DIY store and get a colour swatch. Count the available colours.

    If there are 30, say, then multiply 30 by 29 by 28 and so on. These are the odds against a chap choosing red OR white OR blue: two primaries and one “non” colour. And that’s only a single colour swatch.

    Now work out for yourself the odds of that same chap painting his hall-door in the order red, white and blue as opposed to, say, white, blue and red.

    QED, I think.

  • Fermanagh Young Unionist

    Magalluf South-Europe Battalion UDA / UFF.

    Is there really a Loyalist presence there? I was there a few weeks ago and nothing nothing remotely Protestant… if anything the shops were stalked up with a lot more celtic related items than anything else.

  • Denny Boy

    Mrs Boy and I are off to the pub now. While we’re sinking a few, perhaps those left behind here might like to work on that little mathematical problem, i.e. the odds against three adjacent householders painting their hall-doors in the colours of the Union Jack – and in the correct order.

    I’ve made it even simpler for you.

    1. Choose ten colours: red, white, blue, black, yellow, green, brown, orange, purple and grey.

    2. Cut them up and put them into a bag.

    3. Shut your eyes and choose three colours at random.

    4. Keeping your eyes shut, arrange your three colours in a row.

    5. Keep doing this until you select this sequence: red, white and blue.

    6. Call the Guinness Book of Records if you get it right first time.

    And that’s only ten colours. Just think what fun you could have with a hundred.

  • GurnyGub

    Mr.Boy

    Hope you’d a good night out. Enjoyed the colourful point, but I happen to know one of the house owners and he’s one of the good guys, wouldn’t be like that. Now, if you painted your door first, and the other two arranged to…

  • fair_deal

    Denny Boy

    “QED, I think.”

    QED is when for when you present conclusive evidence not when you repeat your own twisted reasoning only at greater length of how your mind cognitates the sight of red white and blue.

    What are the French? Dyslexic Loyalists.

    I repeat have you any evidence that these three householders collaborated in the choice of colours? Have you any evidence that the choice was sectarian in motivation? Have you any evidence the householders are even Unionists or Protestants?

    Or are you happy that you mind seems to work in the following way “I’m in the black north. I am in a village were the majority are probably prods. Look if you look at those three houses you can see red white and blue, bloody bigots.”

  • fair_deal

    Denny Boy

    “Mrs Boy and I are off to the pub now”

    Remember to keep your eyes closed when you are out tonight you might see someone using a red white and blue colour scheme. Just saw a Tyrone fan wearing a red and white top and blue jeans – is he part of the Elders of Ulster world conspiracy to spread sectarianism through decorating and wardrobe choice?

  • stayin at ome cause the airs fresher since uv been gone

    “Magalluf South-Europe Battalion UDA / UFF.”

    Spending some of that hard earned drug dealing money I see.
    Must be difficult to snort your gear with the stench of all those Spanish papes about.

  • Elvis the dog

    Damn! Made the mistake and clicked in the anticipation of reading some comments about this novel and interesting festival in Carrick.

    I really should know better by now I suppose.

    (Well done to all involved in the Carrick event BTW).

  • Denny Boy

    fair_deal

    “I repeat have you any evidence that these three householders collaborated in the choice of colours? Have you any evidence that the choice was sectarian in motivation? Have you any evidence the householders are even Unionists or Protestants?”

    None. It’s a fair cop. It’s coincidence.

    I’m kidding. I’ll believe it’s coincidence on the same day that a tornado raging through a junk yard constructs a jumbo jet and those typing monkeys produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

    Mrs Boy and a few friends tried my test in the pub last night. We tried first with M&Ms but somebody kept eating them. So we ended up with 10 scraps of paper. Would you believe that between the eight of us no one hit on the red, white and blue combination? I don’t know how many times we tried it.

    Then one of the party explained that, were we to take the combined gloss paint colours of Dulux, Crown and the rest, we’d arrive at something exceeding 1000 – and that’s a conservative estimate. He reckons that a chap would have more chance of winning the lottery ten times in a row than hit on the primary red, white and primary blue combination.

    This morning, on my way back from the newsagent’s I idly studied the hall-doors in our street. Sixteen houses, sixteen different colours. No, I lie: there were two white doors. And one primary colour: yellow.

    So to return to that tripartite decision in Hillsborough. Mrs Boy and I argue all the time about colours. I wanted a pale blue hall-door, but she got her wish of Raspberry Torte. (Don’t ask.) I therefore maintain that there’s something sad about three middle-class houseowners (or six if they’re couples?) suppressing their natural individual tastes in order to make a sectarian statement, i.e. Here be Royalists.

  • fair_deal

    “we ended up with 10 scraps of paper. Would you believe that between the eight of us no one hit on the red, white and blue combination?”

    Now that is sad!

    It would have been very hard to do it with M&Ms as their are no white ones.

    “I’ll believe it’s coincidence on the same day that a tornado raging through a junk yard constructs a jumbo jet and those typing monkeys produce the complete works of Shakespeare.”

    Oh dear, it is very clear you can’t work out probabilities very well. The chances of a householder picking a particular colour is 1 in 10. There are three householders therefore it is 1 in 10 by 1 in 10 by 1 in 10 = 1 in 1000 probability. Hillsborough has more than 1000 households therefore it is not a freakish thing (This leaves aside the fact that using Hillsborugh as the limit on households would be arbitrary).

    If every trio of doors were red white and blue or a remarkably high proportion were you would have a point but they aren’t so you are simply demonstrating the strength of your blinkers.

  • Denny Boy

    “It would have been very hard to do it with M&Ms as their are no white ones.”

    That was a wind-up 😉

    “Oh dear, it is very clear you can’t work out probabilities very well.”

    True. I’m no mathematician.

    “The chances of a householder picking a particular colour is 1 in 10. There are three householders therefore it is 1 in 10 by 1 in 10 by 1 in 10 = 1 in 1000 probability. Hillsborough has more than 1000 households therefore it is not a freakish thing (This leaves aside the fact that using Hillsborugh as the limit on households would be arbitrary).”

    Uh-uh, you’re not paying attention. There are many, many more colours than ten to choose from. There are potentially thousands.

    So we’re talking lottery-numbers odds.

  • Headmelter

    FD and Denny Boy

    If one of the houseowners got on a train at Hillsborough and travelled to Lisburn at 75 mph, then on to Belfast at 70 mph, through to Newry at 80 mph then straight to Dublin at 100 mph, before returning home on a bicycle. What is the probability they would vote SF at the next election?

  • Headmelter

    “It would have been very hard to do it with M&Ms as their are no white ones.”

    You could have tried it with milky buttons and smarties, apparently smarties have the answer.

  • fair_deal

    Denny Boy

    “1. Choose ten colours: red, white, blue, black, yellow, green, brown, orange, purple and grey”

    You are having difficulty in keeping up aren’t you. It was you who suggested the figure of ten not me.

    There are also between 350,000 to 400,000 households in Northern Ireland. Therefore, three colours appearing beside one another is going to happen somewhere by the laws of probabilities not sectarianism.

    Headmelter

    LOL (by the way Denny Boy that means Laugh Out Loud in case you start interpreting it as Loyal Orange Lodge. Or am I lying and the Elders of Ulster have instructed us to expand our campaign to more than paint choice and fashion to send subliminal sectarian messages through internet acronyms?)

  • Occasional Commentator

    Talking of suspicious devices, does anyone know why Forestside was evacuated on Saturday afternoon? There were police cars, but no fire engines or ambulances.

  • Denny Boy

    fair_deal

    “You are having difficulty in keeping up aren’t you.”

    Keeping up? I thought I was setting the pace.

    “It was you who suggested the figure of ten not me.”

    Only as a very simple test that any idiot could take. In practice we’re talking about many thousands of colours.

    “There are also between 350,000 to 400,000 households in Northern Ireland. Therefore, three colours appearing beside one another is going to happen somewhere by the laws of probabilities not sectarianism.”

    Oh please. There are precious few streets in NI that contain terraces of only three houses. I know of only one. And I did not refer to “three colours” but to three SPECIFIC colours, those of the Union Jack. Therefore (and this is the last time I’m going to explain this) the chances of those three householders choosing at random those three colours in the “correct” order is truly astronomical.
    Headmelter

    LOL (by the way Denny Boy that means Laugh Out Loud in case you start interpreting it as Loyal Orange Lodge. Or am I lying and the Elders of Ulster have instructed us to expand our campaign to more than paint choice and fashion to send subliminal sectarian messages through internet acronyms?)

    Really? I’d always understood it to mean “Laughing out Loud”. Why would anybody wish to construe a response as an Order or a suggestion?

  • levee

    Seriously. I was in Hillsborough yesterday, and was impressed by the town.

    I’m sure it has a predominantly Protestant population, but it is not bedecked in flags and gaudy-coloured kerbstones (at least not in the center). What a beautiful, well-kept town it is: the buildings are kept in excellent order and though I looked, there was no blatant show of ..ahem..loyalty..

    It’s not exactly Ballymacash, is it?

    Anyway, have fun playing ‘magic eye’ with the local landmarks. Hold on, if you look at that famine mural upside-down for two-and-a-half-hours, you can see the queen’s head….

  • Denny Boy

    “it is not bedecked in flags and gaudy-coloured kerbstones “

    That was exactly my original point, levee. Middle-class Protestants would shudder to think that they could be lumped in with kerb-painting proles. I’m saying that they can be.

    Have you taken the test yet?

  • eranu

    denny boy, what is actually wrong with 3 neighbours painting their doors in the national colours ?

  • levee

    Nah Denny, couldn’t be arsed…

    Middle-class protestants don’t cause the problems anyway. Can you imagine the MD of some high-falutin company down in Belfast coming home and pulling on the balaclava, maybe heading out to deal drugs to kids?

    They’re not polarised to the same degree, because while most ordinary folk are bizarrely concerned with their nationality, the more affluent are worshipping at an entirely different alter…ker-ching!

  • Denny Boy

    Sorry, levee, but history suggests that it’s the middle classes who were responsible for major changes in societies. And don’t forget that it was the middle-class Unionists who shored up the statelet of Northern Ireland for so many decades, making of it the most unjust and sectarian society Europe had seen since the 1940s. As in all “conflicts”, the working classes are the footsoldiers and cannon fodder who fight the rich man’s war for him. It was ever thus – well, since the birth of the bourgeoisie anyway.

    How am I doin’, Comrade Stalin? :0)

  • levee

    Yes, but is it still that way? I’d argue that most of the upper classes these days are unconcerned by the political turmoil as long as they continue to make money.

  • Denny Boy

    I don’t know about the upper classes. I was referring to the middle classes.

  • fair_deal

    Denny boy

    First ten, then hundreds then thousands of colours, why is it evey time your misunderstandings of probability are pointed out the number leaps? Having difficulties getting probablity backing your argument?

    “the “correct” order is truly astronomical.”

    No its not because your sample of the 3 houses is arbitrary. The probability has to be based on the choice of colours then that probability compared with the number of potential properties. This is even before we bring in the issue of distribution.

    You offer NO evidence that the residents are Unionist or protestant. You offer NO evidence that they cooperated on colour choice. All you offer is your blinkered assumptions and every growing numbers to sustain a false supposition.

  • Denny Boy

    My Christ, he’s back. I thought we’d put this one to bed.

    See my earlier posts – and this time pay closer attention. Do a test.

    That’s my last word on the matter. I shan’t be revisiting this thread so you can go argue with yourself.