A couple of rounds with the brigadier and the general…

SO Martin McAleese and Jackie McDonald were down at the K Club for a round of golf the other day. “What’s your handicap at the minute?” asked Martin. “Other loyalists,” replied Jackie…Anyway, the pair head off to the 19th hole for a pint, where General de Chastelain is serving Gerry Adams. “Whaddaboutye Gerry mucker, are you getting the rounds in?” shouts Jackie across the bar.

“We’ve no more rounds left – barman’s new policy,” replied Gerry, not unhappily, nodding at the general. “What about you Davy?” asked de Chastelain, turning to David Ervine. “Any word from the boys?”

“Well, we’ll see,” said Davy. “We’re expecting a serious movement any time soon, so maybe after that.”

“Jaysus,” said Martin McGuinness, stepping out of the gents’. “That was a serious movement all right. I reckon that main dump had been just building up since the ceasefire.”

“Aye, it can lead to uncomfortable pressure, possibly followed by a huge explosion,” agreed Davy. “Fortunately, no-one really cares when we let one off.”