What’s reconciliation and who’s to be reconciled?

I’ve been reading a fair bit about the vague, abstract notion of ‘reconciliation’ here over the last while, first on Andy Pollak’s Claire Hanna piece and latterly on Open Sunday and it got me thinking just what was meant by ‘reconciliation’ and who was it aimed at which drove me to ChatGPT to ask it to give me a definition of reconciliation to which it replied:

Reconciliation generally means the process of restoring harmony or resolving differences between people, groups, ideas, or records. The exact meaning can depend on the context:

Personal/Social Context:
Reconciliation is the act of mending a broken relationship, such as after a conflict or misunderstanding.
Example: Two friends reconciling after an argument.

Political/Cultural Context:
Reconciliation often refers to efforts to address past injustices, especially in post-conflict societies, by acknowledging wrongdoing and promoting healing.
Example: Truth and Reconciliation Commissions.

I then further asked the oracle the question as to why might reconciliation be difficult in the Wee Six to which it replied:

Historical Grievances

The conflict known as “The Troubles” (late 1960s–1998) involved decades of violence, primarily between unionists/loyalists (mainly Protestant, wanting to remain part of the UK) and nationalists/republicans (mainly Catholic, wanting a united Ireland).

Thousands of people were killed or injured, and the legacy of trauma remains strong in many communities.

Segregation

Northern Irish society remains highly segregated along religious and political lines, with many people still living in separate neighborhoods, attending different schools, and even using different sports and cultural activities.

“Peace walls” still physically divide some communities in cities like Belfast.

Identity and Nationalism

Disagreements over national identity remain at the heart of tensions. Some see themselves as British, others as Irish.

Even symbolic issues like flags, parades, and language rights can spark controversy.

Political Division

Power-sharing arrangements established by the Good Friday Agreement (1998) have been fragile.

Political deadlock, such as the suspension of the Northern Ireland Assembly at times, reflects ongoing mistrust between parties.

Justice vs. Forgiveness

There are conflicting views on justice for past violence. Some want accountability for past atrocities; others advocate for forgiveness and moving on.

Issues around amnesties and inquiries into past events continue to stir tension.

Brexit and the Northern Ireland Protocol

Brexit has reopened old wounds, particularly concerning the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.

The Northern Ireland Protocol created a trade border in the Irish Sea, which unionists see as a threat to their identity and place in the UK.

Generational Legacy

Trauma, prejudice, and division are often passed down through generations, making it harder for young people to break the cycle.

While some progress has been made, many still grow up with a strong sense of “us vs. them.”

Mistrust and Trauma

Decades of violence created deep mistrust between communities.

Mental health issues related to trauma are still common, especially among those who lived through the worst of the conflict.

I then started think about who needs to be reconciled and the obvious answer was nationalist/ unionist/ other communities but then other scenarios presented themselves,

Do victims and perpetrators of violence of the three participant groups in our violent conflict need to reconcile? Is such recognition possible? Under the 1998 Agreement the political parties agreed to build a cooperative political culture but are they reconciled? Wouldn’t such reconciliation necessitate resolving difficult issues like language rights, legacy investigations, and historical narratives? Do the Irish and UK Governments also need to reconcile in a need for honest engagement with the past and support for healing processes? If I’m honest I’m no more well informed regarding the concept and process of reconciliation than I was when I first started reading the two OPs mentioned above so I’d welcome your thoughts and ideas on the concept and any prosesses.

Two of the things I am sure about are reconcilliation absolutely has to be a two way street. A central tenet of any process needs to be a recognition and acceptance of wrongs and mistakes of every participant. The second is based on a comment from Claire Hanna, I certainly don’t subscribe to the premise that there needs to be reconcilliation prior to any Border Poll on the basis that much like the concept of ‘consensual unity’ it offers those opposed to Irish unity a perpetual embargo to frustrate the mechanism of achieving it by simply tactically refusing to reconcile. Reconcilliation should be one of the objectives of a Border Poll, not a prerequisite for it to happen.