“are you serious?”

Apparently, it’s not just chickens that are being enlisted in the “political wars” over identity, it’s turkeys too.. From the, erm, rarefied air of Máirtín’s Balcony

Apparently not though at Asda in Andersonstown they insist in selling scores of products with British flags emblazoned on them. I fancied a bit of turkey to go with a sandwich today but couldn’t find a pack of turkey without the aforementioned flag. A complaint to a counter assistant sparked the comment, “are you serious?”. Nice to see the customer care training is going well.

[Were the turkeys from Crossgar? – Ed]

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  • Drumlins Rock

    there are rumours Sainsburys are gonna do alot of rebranding for thier new store, could ruffle a few feathers too!

  • Neil

    If I want to boycott British goods, I’m more than welcome to look for a shop that sells non British goods. What I’m not entitled to do is walk into any shop on the street and demand that they pander to my political ideals. It would be like walking into Curleys and demanding British goods if I were Unionist, and I know the response I’d get.

    As a Republican, I’d like to say I love ASDA, it’s great. Welcomed in Irish at the front door, I can source out a pack of British sausages that probably won’t kill me and my entire family. Not too much Irish pork flying off the shelves last year.

  • foreign correspondent

    Why don´t they stick only the E.U. flag on all E.U. produce, thus solving the problem. Or will the Eurosceptics start their own boycott then?

  • The Reincarnation of Paul Revere’s Horse

    Or how about, just get over it. Its only a gosh darn* flag. It cant hurt you.

    *dont want to fall foul of the blasphemy laws.

  • disinterested observer

    Pete – this is a much more serious issue than you think. Republicans and nationalsits are playing with people’s livelihood’s here!
    It is imperative that food produced here is labelled as British so that farmers here can access the GB market. This is particualrly important since the pig dioxin scare in the Republic.
    People are entitled to their political views but they shouldnt expect the farmers of the north to pay for them by being excluded from key markets

  • Pete Baker

    fc

    Which problem would that be?

    And how then would Máirtín know whether he was choking on ‘Irish’ or ‘British’ turkey? ;o)

  • Pete Baker

    disinterested

    I realise the wider issue at stake.

    But, for now, I’ll content myself with laughing at Máirtín.

  • Guest

    “t is imperative that food produced here is labelled as British so that farmers here can access the GB market. This is particualrly important since the pig dioxin scare in the Republic.
    People are entitled to their political views but they shouldnt expect the farmers of the north to pay for them by being excluded from key markets “-disinterested Oberver.

    Then presumably if the there is a similar scare in GB they should be labeled as Irish in origin.Or is it okay to pay for British political beliefs but not okay to pay for Irish political beliefs?
    I eat just as many chickens as you!

    Of course the problem behind this carry-on is that nobody would ever know if they are eating contaminated chickens, and not whether they are British or Irish ,or either or both.;;;)

  • Brit

    We say no surrender to the Republican Turkeys.

    Ulster says no to Irish sausages.

  • foreign correspondent

    I know, I know, it´s only a turkey.
    But the reality is that some people in N.I. don´t like the Union Jack. And some people don´t like the Irish tricolour.
    Yeah ok, it´s petty. Hands up, who doesn´t harbour any pettiness whatsoever, especially in Northern Ireland. I am sure it is not unknown for some Unionists to avoid buying products from the Republic either, with or without a flag emblazoned on them.
    In any case, I would be in favour of using only the E.U. flag in all types of situation in N.I., flying outside town halls, hotels etc, as I consider it both neutral, and our real national flag (gets flak-jacket on at this point), but I realize it´s not really going to happen. Hey, we´re allowed to dream, aren´t we?
    And as to the economic angle, well isn´t Northern Ireland marked on the label?
    Do people in GB need to see the Union Jack on products to know that Northern Ireland is in the U.K. If they do that´s quite revealing in itself,
    isn´t it?
    Have a nice day, y´all.

  • Only its on here you could nearly have been mistaken for thinking that came straight off Emersons old ‘Portadown News’.

    To reword a famous phrase from the U.S.- Flags dont kill people, people kill people.

    This would be funny only for the fact that the ideas that it promotes and perpetuates do more to cement division than any parade ever did. Not wanting that produce in that shop is exactly the same as not wanting me and the other 900000 here ‘Brits’ in the shop either.

    But the truth is Máirtín doesnt want us in the Country full stop.

  • Guest

    “This would be funny only for the fact that the ideas that it promotes and perpetuates do more to cement division than any parade ever did. Not wanting that produce in that shop is exactly the same as not wanting me and the other 900000 here ‘Brits’ in the shop either.”-Quincey.

    Mopery.
    Worse, Mopery involving chickens.Don’t be so hard on yourself.
    Republicans have made it abundantly clear that they oppose the union and not those who presently support the union.You are as Irish as us,after all…….;

  • Smug O’ Tool

    Nothing better to be complaining about?? There’s stuff down here with jack’s on them. You either buy it or you don’t.

    Once all the beef is labelled Irish, this shouldn’t matter. After all, it was Paisley who said that Ulster beef is Irish beef during the BSE crisis, so any beef with a Union jack on it is obviously not supporting the local farmer!

  • starved

    ASDA also label a lot of stuff as “product of Northern Ireland”. Is buying this endorsing the six county sectarian/apartheid statelet?

    What about buying goods with a tricolour on? Is this not endorsing the illegitimate appropriation of the symbols of the republic by the treacherous 26 county free state partitionist entity?

    Could Martin post a blog which tells us what we can eat?

  • disinterested observer

    ‘I eat just as many chickens as you!’
    You probably eat more but in NI – an area that is still heavily dependent on the agriculture/food sector 60m Brits beats 4m Irish (as a market!) every time!

    I repeat this is not a laughing matter Tesco apparently dropped alot of Irish (ie Republic of Ireland) supplier after the dioxin scare

  • Britney Spears

    Food is food is food. And so long as it’s not sourced from some God-forsaken cesspit like Nigeria or a similar “Black African” outpost, I’ll gulp it down whether the carcass sings [i]The Sash[/i] or [i]Go on Home British Bastards[/i].

  • Guest

    Disinterested,
    Or Milo Mindbender if you prefer.
    You are economically correct.

    What I may have not made clear is that you do not seem to care whether the chicken is in fact contaminated or not.The dioxin scare involved
    Northern Irish produce as well as Republican Irish produce.I was making the point that your statement that it economically imperative that it be labeled British holds fort in the event of any inverse food scare in GB, and that hence, nobody would ever know if they were eating contaminated chickens or not.Worse;you want government to tell them that they are not.

  • cynic

    Ah but that chicken or turkey flying your little flag and labelled packed in Ireland or Britain may actually be from Brazil or Hungary. Its a small world.

    The really sad thing is though that you have someone who buys their sliced turkey on grounds of its national identity. Now he’s free to do so….but its just so sad.

  • “Republicans have made it abundantly clear that they oppose the union and not those who presently support the union.You are as Irish as us,after all…….”

    When i hear that assertion im just reminded how disingenuous Republicanism is. Because they could not possibly be stupid enough to truly believe it.

    Would a chicken with a Union jack on it classify it as being part of the ‘British War Machine’?

  • Guest

    “When i hear that assertion im just reminded how disingenuous Republicanism is. Because they could not possibly be stupid enough to truly believe it.”-
    Quincey.
    Which assertion? That Republicans are making it abundantly clear?that they oppose the Union and not the people who presently believe in the union?Are that unionists are Irish?

    “Would a chicken with a Union jack on it classify it as being part of the ‘British War Machine’?”

    FFS.

  • cynic

    Martin’s campaign could have many unfortunate, unforseen and terrible consequences.

    Does this now mean that as a Protestant and Unionist I now have to stop tearing up the North Belfast News into small squares for use in the smallest room in the house? Will I have to forgoe the delicious pleasure that has given me over the years, never mind the financial saving? You dont get that quality in the newsprint on Unionist papers you know. A switch to the News Letter just isnt on, the Irish News format is just the wrong size and with the price of the Euro the Irish Times is just too expensive.

  • Dave

    Boycott British goods in the UK? With genius political thinking like that…

    If the Shinners don’t like British goods in Northern Ireland, they shouldn’t have signed a document that agreed that Northern Ireland was legitimately part of the United Kingdom and that they had no legitimate right to claim otherwise.

    Still, as long as the Shinner muppets sign on the dotted line for the important legal documents that conceed that Ulster is British, they can sing all the republican ballads they want.

  • Dave

    One thing the Shinners won’t be Boycotting in Her Majesty’s dominion of Northern Ireland is their British state wages and British state pensions, even if the Queen’s shilling commits the unbearable ‘sectarian’ office of carrying the Queen’s face on the currency. 😉

  • Dave

    office = offence

  • Eddie

    This thread is a DEAD CERT to be reproduced in “Private Eye” or in some “The Way of he World”-type column in some newspaper.

    I kid you not. I dedee-dedee-do! Laugh? Cry? It does both. Hits all the buttons.

    If it isn’t picked up I’ll send it off – and get the £20 prize of the week or whatever it is.

    FFS, are youse never going to catch yerselves on? (Both sides) Answer me, please.

  • Glencoppagagh

    The idendity of the author of this nonsense (the artiste formerly known as…) is all you need to know.
    He’s just so Irish.
    Any sign of Asda losing trade apart from the above’s. And Sainsbury coming soon. It’ll soon be as British as Finchley.

  • Guest

    “FS, are youse never going to catch yerselves on? (Both sides) Answer me, please. “-Eddie.

    Are there sides here?
    I thought it was either and or both,preferably in that order.

  • The Truth

    Its seeing the murderous union jack flag that has caused so much destruction and repression across the planet that is so hard to swallow, not the chickens.

  • David

    The “are you serious?” response from customer service shows exactly how much annoyance there is from the general public in Andersonstown at the British imperialist union jack turkey, other than Máirtín: none…

  • Republican Turkey

    I strongly object to having the butcher’s apron forced upon my noble carcass.

    You can imprison me in tortuous conditions with my peers, and you can slaughter us en masse every Christmas.

    But you can never take away a Republican Turkey’s identity. It always shines through in the end.

  • GavBelfast

    I almost feel sorry for former apologists for armed struggle to see what pathetic drivel they’ve been reduced to in their blogs.

    Almost.

  • latcheeco

    And HP sauce need to change their oppressive label too. Having to be reminded of them bastards every time we have spuds is also too much to swallow.There’s clearly a huge market in Curley’s for 1919 Dail Sauce that needs to be catered for.

    Life’s strange. One minute your dining out with Wall Street movers and shakers, the next some wee girl in Curleys is looking at you like your a dick.

  • harpo

    “The “are you serious?” response from customer service shows exactly how much annoyance there is from the general public in Andersonstown at the British imperialist union jack turkey, other than Máirtín: none…”

    David:

    Well said.

    The customer service person has more sense than the oppressed Mairtin ever will.

    I’m glad to see that some Belfast people retain some sense and respond to such complaints in an appropriate manner.

  • harpo

    GavBelfast:

    We should enjoy the spectacle of these people being reduced to whining about flags on foodstuffs.

    Such is the current state of their oppression that this is all they have to complain about.

  • Republican Turkey

    Harpo,

    It’s all very well you mocking our oppression, but you’ve never had a stale loaf of Ormeau bread jammed up your arse by an evil Brit farmer!

  • eranu

    “We say no surrender to the Republican Turkeys”

    First we had ‘The Chuckies’, now we’ve got…. ‘The Cluckies’!!

    What would we do for entertainment if we didnt have republicans around???

  • latcheeco

    Eranu “What would we do for entertainment…?”
    That’s a hard one because I doubt you would still feel the need to march around with swords in silly bowler hats publicly urinating and vomiting in places where you aren’t wanted 🙂

  • Biff1

    Getting the bird from the much lauded Belfast Baristas!

    Sorry this a little bit off thread, but perhaps our Turkey experts could suggest a place in Belfast City where tourists meandering the streets of our fair City at midnight on a Friday / Saturday night ,can stop for a coffee / Sandwich / Cake etc [Much more profitable than booze I can assure you ] ] , before returning to their hotel on the outskirts of Belfast .

    The American & French tourists wanted to experience the ambience of our fair city without the aid of the Devils Buttermilk.
    Not unusual I’m sure, but they travelled into town by the lisburn road, only to discover that even “Starbucks, and Arizona” which had been recommended to them ,were also closing down the shutters at 11.50 pm on a Saturday ?.
    They fared no better in the hubbub that was our buzzing METROPOLIS , and had to settle for a cup coffee in a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet ,at Finaghy Crossroads .

    C,mon surely the” jewel in the Crown “ of this wee Pravince , can show our tourists a better face in the middle of the peak holiday season.

    Incidentently, they had the highest praise for the youthful staff in the Kentucky outlet, but after all a Kentucky outlet!, [ A taste of Belfast ? ] the only place for a tourist to find a cup of coffee! In our much vaunted City for all the people. Perhaps non drunks don’t count? .
    Any help in saving any future embarrassment would be appreciated.
    Brian / Biff1.

  • slug

    Sainsbury’s NI stores are festooned with “Produce of Northern Ireland” and “Northern Irish Milk” etc.

    Robin Livingstone of the ATown News stated he winces each time the words Northern Ireland are used.

    Eamonn McCann’s reponse to that was good: “He must wince a lot”.

  • otto

    Perhaps Martin has been to see Bruno and he’s decided to follow Baron Cohen formula for satire. He’s exaggerating the insulted republican stereotype to the point that in ridiculing it we come to realise the wrongheadedness of our own reactionary attitude to mainstream, reasonable republicans. Maybe Martin will film a few of his future altercations with confused members of the public and post them on his blog.

  • FIFA

    Can the turkeys have their national football team preference changed before a certain date?

    OH Jaysus!

  • eranu

    latcheeco, ive never felt the need to march around in such manner! but i will admit to publicly urinating and vomiting in places where im not wanted. but that was only a couple of times in my younger days. always at night, and only in a secluded entry in belfast city centre!

  • Jimmy Riddler

    Surely the most important question was whether they were free-range turkeys?

  • cynic

    By the way, do forgive me but many moons ago didnt the same Blogger complain vociferously that his late lamented Daily Ireland (such soft and absobent paper – I do so miss it) collapsed because it was not lavished with millions of British pounds with Big Liz’s gub on them to pay for advertising (because nobody apart from me was reading it and I was only looking at about a quaretr page at a time).

  • harpo

    “I’m with John Hume on this. I prefer to eat Irish produce but failing that, I’ll eat anything, as long as it’s not branded with a British flag.”

    This qoute is from the oppressed Mairtin’s blog.

    I find it very odd.

    The message seems to be that he is willing to consume British produce, but only so long as it isn’t branded as British produce.

    In this case that means if half the packages of turkey had little Union Flags on them and half didn’t, Mairtin would be quite happy to consume turkey from a no-flag package, even if all the turkey came from the same (presumably british) supplier.

    I have to ask – exactly what is the point of such pedantry? He would know very well it was the same product and was British in origin, being bought from a British owned store. But a little flag on one sort of packaging of the product means that he can’t buy it?

    It’s a half-assed ‘protest’ at best. One might say self-serving. He obviously hasn’t got the ‘principles’ of the type of people who refuse to buy anything produced by Israel, or that contains goods sourced from Israel. Now that’s a real boycott.

    Mairtin wants it both ways. He obviously has no problem shopping in this British owned store, and buying British products, so long as they aren’t marked with little British flags. Does the food magically become non-British if there is no flag on it? Does it attain neutral status? Do these ‘republicans’ just pretend they don’t know where it comes from unless there is blatant British branding?

    I think that’s it – they can pretend they don’t know what the score is until there is blatant branding involved. Then their ‘principles’ kick in once they are in the position of not being able to ignore the origin of the products.

  • spiritof07

    I assume that Asda don’t advertise too much in the ATN. Let’s see is Sainsbury’s do, then they can get away with making Robin wince all day long if they want.

  • cynic

    Given that the author has such high moral principles presumably he’s quite happy to support WalMart a US MultiNational slated for destroying commercial centres in small towns across the USA and employing the cheapest labour in 3rd world countries.

    So what about buying from a good Irish supermarket or with the price of the Euro is that just too expensive?

    And just how far do we take this tracability lark? When we go into M&S do we check the name and address of the producers on the chickens?

    Dungannon – in the basket

    Ballymena – get ye gone Satanic meat

    Aughnacloy – could be a bit AC/DC – check the producers name and see if that gives a clue

    Dutch Bacon – too Calvanist?

    Icelandic Cod – Lutheran?

    French Cammembert – even the name sounds Catholic!

    Just how far can you take this tracability lark?

  • Guest

    “Just how far can you take this tracability lark? “?

    I answer with tongue in cheek because we all know that you have a substantial point.I’ll eat an ulster fry or English fry or full Irish as quick as all three together.

    The Author does not deserve the name.

    Now, if there is perchance a further or serious point in all this can we get to it and stop pissing about?

  • Eddie

    AWARDS CEREMONY IN VIEW

    I am not kidding you – this thread MUST, it really, really, absolutely MUST, win an award for THE MOST COMICAL Blog Thread of the Year – or, indeed, any year, anywhere on the planet.

    ps:Meantime, any chance Mick, you close it down now before I do myself a serious injury laughing???

    pps: There’s a sitcom here!

  • Guest

    “#

    AWARDS CEREMONY IN VIEW

    I am not kidding you – this thread MUST, it really, really, absolutely MUST, win an award for THE MOST COMICAL Blog Thread of the Year – or, indeed, any year, anywhere on the planet.

    ps:Meantime, any chance Mick, you close it down now before I do myself a serious injury laughing???

    pps: There’s a sitcom here!
    Posted by Eddie on Jul 27, 2009 @ 11:26 PM

    Eddie, you really should get out more.

  • Davros

    What happens if there’s an apple tree growing on the border?

  • Guest

    North-south body,no doubt.

    Seriously,nothing happens except heads like you and me who think about these things?

    What happens if one grows between germany and france?

  • cynic

    “What happens if one grows between germany and france?”

    …the Germans have a law against that sort of thing – too dangerous

    “What happens if there’s an apple tree growing on the border?”

    ….only 50% of the apples are allowed to be green

  • CW

    While he’s at Máirtin should complain about supermarkets selling oranges because of their offensive colour.

  • Guest

    “What happens if one grows between germany and france?”

    …the Germans have a law against that sort of thing – too dangerous

    “What happens if there’s an apple tree growing on the border?”

    ….only 50% of the apples are allowed to be green ”
    Cynic.

    Not bad.
    You we’re waiting for a response to tell the joke.
    But harmless and thanks;

  • cynic

    Guest

    But as us afficianados from North Belfast know, an Ulster Fry and Irish Fry and English Fry are all quite different.

    English Fry – tends to come with exotic extras like mushrooms fried tomatoes and beans. These are too costly for us and also put us in dange of eating one of our 5 a day so we shun them. Also the English fried slice is appalling.

    Irish Fry – more refined. None of your English fripperies and often uses those tiny thin mean Irish pork sausages. Often served with wheaten bread on the side although a tiny triangle of potato bread may sneak in to genuflect at its ancestry. Very much your Dublin 4 model of sophistication and amazed it has been exported to the masses beyond the Pale.

    Ulster Fry – the industrial model. After years of oppression we are too poor to afford the English pretensions and lack the Southern sophistication so we make up for it by bulking it out with big slabs of fired soda and potato bread.

  • cynic

    ” You we’re waiting for a response to tell the joke ”

    Ah you caught me out. Truth is there are two possible answers:

    1 “What border?”

    2 “It depends”

  • cynic

    PS are we allowed to stick those little labels with a tractor and union jack on the ones on the branches overhanging the North?

  • elvis parker

    Glencoppagh has reminded me (by talking about Sainsburys and Finchley) that the Tesco’s in Finchley had a special kosher section. Maybe ASDA could have special section in their Kennedy Way store for food without flags – or info on where it was from

  • cynic

    Elvis

    A “dont ask dont tell” policy may be too much for us in NI where we always seek the whole truth.

  • Smug O’ Tool

    What would we do for entertainment if we didnt have republicans around???

    Marching?

  • Smug O’ Tool

    ” jewel in the Crown “ of this wee Pravince

    Belfast?? Have you ever been? Maybe a paper crown from a Christmas cracker.

  • cynic

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8171728.stm

    For God’s sake dont tell Martin. If it gets caught in the wrong Jetstream it might parachute down in West Belfast, South Armagh or onto the wrong bank of the Folye.

    Would this be a brecah of the ceasefire? British cheese parachuted down to contaiminate the Holy Ground?

  • Slimer

    Surely this is split into two different issues.

    1) GB turkeys having a union flag on them.
    2) NI turkeys having a union flag on them.

    A complaint about the latter is rather different in nature to a complaint about the former.

  • Guest

    Cynic-
    “Ah you caught me out. Truth is there are two possible answers:

    1 “What border?”

    2 “It depends” ”

    1) Touché

    2 Coulé