Caption competition…

Try to keep it light, witty and clean… To start you off:

Martin – “I can’t believe we’re still here.”

Gerry – “I can’t believe they’re still here!”

  • “Maybe we should stop reminiscing of old times and actually diffuse it”

  • wild turkey

    Martin: Now Gerry try again, the secret handshake goes like this.

    Mary Lou: Does this mean I’m a maisonette now?

  • ian

    Mary Lou – “Gerry & Martin are happy to show off the latest line in Republican uniform. Out with the combats and balaclavas and in with a lovely two-piece black suit, white shirts and socialist red ties. Lovely boys, thank you.”

  • fair_deal

    And then I said 2016. It’s the way I tell them.

  • Mark McGregor

    Martin: So there’s him pushing his Ard Chomhairle ballot paper in all serious like this and I’m trying to keep a straight face…

    All: LAUGH

  • An fhirinne gharbh

    Gerry says: We’re going to win power in the South and unite Ireland bu 2016.

  • veritas

    Adams: are they still laughing

    McGuiness: I gave them the olde two feet swerve, no-one mentioned your oversea bank deposits….

    MLou: Havana, here we come.

  • Smug O’ Toole

    Marty: “Pull my finger.”

    Gerry: “I’m not falling for that again. Last time you left the room smelling like a dirty protest!”

  • An fhirinne gharbh

    Gerry: I don’t know why I’m laughing. I’d get that house in Donegal a hell of a lot cheaper now.

  • I’m going to bore them to sleep with this speech, says Gerry pulling it out from under his jacket.

    Well, he bored me to sleep.

  • Gerry : Doc Doc i’ve had a pain here all day…

    pulls out a pain of glass Huh Huh jus like that

  • ‘pane’ obviously that should be

  • An fhirinne gharbh

    Gerry: I know Marty. We’ll put on Southern accents, bejaysus. Sure, dey won’t be after givin out to us for bein’ Nordies.

  • West Belfast

    Gerry: I never thought the Banks would be asking us for a loan!!

    (General laughter)

  • Only Asking

    Look Gerry, spurs are at the bottom of the league.

    (pst mick always thought captions were a great idea.)

  • picador

    Mary Lou: I just luv the whiff of gunpowder.

    Gerry A: Wanna disappear for a while?

    Marty Mc: Yeah, **** ***** back at my place!

  • Ulsters my homeland

    Gerry: “Martin, are you a spy?”

    Martin “course not Gerry, just colluding with the imperialist British state”

    Gerry: “That’s not so bad, colluding is fine, you know how we don’t like spys Martin”

  • Scaramoosh


    “And those idiots are still posting on Slugger, asking for evidence that I was in the IRA…”


    “I know, and some of them still think that the Provies robbed the Northern Bank..”

  • Oh, wait, that’s not the caption, is it?

    ““Given half a chance Sinn Féin will piggyback and colonise Labour”…”

  • fin

    Paper wraps rock Gerry, I win. We’ll go for Labour.

    Lads, is that bit of spinach still stuck between my teeth

  • fin

    Here’s that 15 grand for your sister-in-law Marty, are Northern Bank notes OK

  • fin

    You guys should have gone to specsavers

  • fin

    Is that a gun in your pocket Gerry or are you just pleased to see Mary Lou

  • Rory Carr

    Mary Lou: One for all and all for one!

    M McG : How do you say that in Irish?

    Gerry : Níl is agaim.

  • Bretagne

    So I said “Spiderwoman would sort it out”

    “Mary Lou -Why do you keep calling Bairbre, Spiderwoman?”

    Sure – have you not seen here hairy legs…….?

  • Mick is this high

    The real opposition is Slugger O’Toole.

  • Former Shinner

    Martin: I cant believe these idiots still think we’re republicans

    Gerry: Our pay will come

    Mary Lou : *smiles and pretends to know what the fuck is going on*

  • Te Dee Hum

    (a) Gerry – the cash is in my inside pocket, see, so stay on message and you’ll get your cut later.

    (b) Gerry – You two are crap, this is the way to smile and make it look genuine.

  • …’is his name really Ed Balls?’

  • Ulsters my homeland

    Gerry: “Ian knew what he was doing when he laughed at the lights”

    Martin: “Just noticed that Gerry, smile when the light flashes.

  • Essentialist

    Martin McGuinness: Hey Gerry – I had heard through Devenport of the BBC that those securocrats stopped you at the airport with anti-wrinkle cream. I had no idea that that’s were you were putting it. By the way you’ve smeared a few drops on the Armani.

  • Clay Davis

    ‘Some rob you with a six gun, some with a fountain pen’ … We rob you with both.

  • Peat Blog


    You didn’t Gerry, did you?


    Damn right I did. Here’s the photies to prove it…

    Mary Lou:

    O Gerry you are a devil arn’t ye?.

  • USA

    “So then I says…there will be a united Ireland by 2016”.

  • NCM

    Gerry: “So then Bobby Sands said to me, Gerry, I know you won’t let the Republican movement down.”

  • Spades a Spade


    We must be the best dressed best paid sheep farmers in our British Ireland

  • Danny O’Connor

    Dont worry about the south ,we’ll run you in the north for Europe , the voters wont know the difference between you and Bairbre de who

  • Harry Flashman

    Gerry: “Can you believe we actually ran in the election on a policy of privatising Irish banks?”

    Marty: “Haha, I know, I know, can you imagine the state the Free State economy would be in today if the eejits had elected us?”

    Mary Lou: “Er, fellas…”

  • grisly

    Grisly and Coco give Jade Goody their blessing on her wedding day.

  • Martin: “Look, Gerry, your flies are undone!!”

    Gerry: “Yes, Marty, I blame the insecurocrats”

  • dunreavynomore

    Spades a Spade
    “We must be the best dressed best paid sheep farmers in our British Ireland.”
    Someone texted Vincent Browne’s news programme last night to say to Brian Cowen, “I know you are the shepherd and we are the flock but do we have to be fleeced evry day?”

  • Le Corbusier


    Can I touch it Gerry?

    Mary Lou:

    Now I know why you’re the Honourable MEMBER for West Belfast!


    You better be-muthafeckin’-lieve it!

    All laugh…

  • Dublin voter

    Gerry: “…and then I said that I’d never been in the IRA…”

  • The Chuckie Ar La plc Shareholders’ Meeting endorses (without single dissenting vote) the Board’s End of Year statement for the 28th year running.

  • Greenflag

    Marty to Gerry

    ‘What’s the difference between Unionism and venereal disease ?

    Gerry : Don’t know

    Marty : You can cure venereal disease !

    Mary Lou : language boys language

  • Hemmed A Sully Snort

    An Englishman, A Scotswoman, and An Irishman …. .