No grey squirrels here

Driving around the roads of West Fermanagh as I do; I have noticed that there are lots of red and no grey squirrels. According to this pdf document in Fermanagh we should have grey ones as well but all the ones I see are red. The Forestry Service has extensive information about squirrels.

Right now I have done an apolitical blog I want all of you to think of ways of bringing politics into the discussion of squirrels.

  • Donnacha

    Clearly the red squirrels have ethnically cleansed the area of grey squirrels. Once again proof that animals learn behavouirs from humans…

  • Dewi

    Donnacha – welcome back ! – Red squirrels eyes are closer together?

  • Ann

    The red squirrels are marxist communists who have taken over the means of production and imprisoned in under ground caves all the white squirrels who are democrat and libertarian. Torturing the white squirrels by means of white light and high pitched noise, neutering all white male squirrels to stop them breeding so that eventually they will die out. While giving medals to red female squirrels for multiplying and populating the fatherland.

  • Dewi

    Ann – themmumms are grey not white mun!

  • Driftwood

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4635330.stm

    Good to see the natives holding out against the ‘planters’, but it’s only a matter of time.

    code word here is numbers…Hmmm

  • Brian Walker

    Get out there with the all too numerous guns of Fermanagh Turgon. Never mind TUV dreams of an election – cull the greys or the wee reds are doomed. I have Yorkshire relatives who watched the squirrelly ethnic cleansing there and it sure aint purty!

  • Ann

    Dewi I’m colour blind 🙂

    OK substitute grey for white – it’s late and I’m off to bed to count sheep.

  • Ann

    it sure aint purty!

    I knew I came accross Brian before – he’s Walker Texas ranger!

  • The Raven

    Ok, here goes. The NIEA released a report into the preservation of red squirrels and management of grey squirrels earlier this year.

    I believe that the non-response into my query of the Minister as to the progress of this action plan is typical of the DUP wall of silence that non-party members are treated, confirming their arrogance in holding this region to ransom, and ultimately doing….absolutely nothing.

    How was that….?

  • Red squirrels have mounted an effective campaign for liberation from the US imperialists, brought here by the aristocracy.

  • latcheeco

    I heard the red ones were almost wiped out because the grey ones would go for their nuts.

  • hercules

    Oh it’s a joke then,

    I seem to have a single grey squirrel in my area. What to do?

  • ulsterfan

    I regularly have grey squirrels in my garden and used to like them until I learned our American cousins call them tree rats.
    The red ones are cuter.

  • latcheeco

    And they’re good eatin’ Ulsterfan. BTW, according to ancestry.com if you go back far enough Barak Obama is everybody’s American cousin.Don’t know if there’s been a policy statement on squirrels yet though. Be careful of grey squirrels; once one moves in, there goes the neighborhood.

  • Greagoir O’ Frainclin

    “Driving around the roads of West Fermanagh as I do; I have noticed that there are lots of red and no grey squirrels.”

    Obviously they don’t use contraception!

    Or maybe it’s an omen of sorts?

    Anything about it in the bible?

    Maybe it’s a prophacy for NI, revealed to you Turgon, by god himself!

  • latcheeco

    Greagoir,
    Here’s one. It relates to the lost tribe:
    “and then the Lord Jehovah sayeth, ‘verily the people of Turgon and Tufty shall cross over the Erne into the promised land’.”

  • BfB

    Planned Squirrelhood ran a walk-in 2ferone special for the greys last year…
    When they were handing out brains the greys thought they said trains and took the tin ones.

  • It was Sammy Mc Nally what done it

    From “Ulster Countryside” magazine.

    If we are to classify squirrels on the basis of their colour surely here in Norn Iron what will interest people the most is not whether the squirrels are red or grey but rather if they are green or orange. Although the techniques for establishing the ‘community background’ of our fellow mammals are far from scientific and are often based purely on subjective grounds e.g. that a very Catholic looking dog – indicating it’s coat is somewhat unkempt – new technology can assist in tagging animals once their ‘community background’ has been confirmed. Measures can then be taken to prevent cross community problems, similar to those in North Belafast, where ‘Peace’ walls prevent the so- called ‘higher’ mammals from straying into hostile territory and attacking each other.

    Next Week: Are Catholic rabbits outbreeding their Protestant Neighbours?

  • Dewi

    Lol Sammy – Munster did well to win that one…

  • It was Sammy Mc Nally what done it

    Dewi,

    very, very, very lucky. And it was against Montauban 2nds. The new wunderkid Earls had a shocker.

    Ospreys should now win their group but dont think Kaydiff will make it.

  • Dewi

    Ospresys just need to focus – did well second half to get bonus point but lineout was terrible -Cardiff actually did Ok..- Llanelli – unbelievablly bad – and as for those blasted squirrels….

  • OC

    “If we are to classify squirrels on the basis of their colour surely here in Norn Iron what will interest people the most is not whether the squirrels are red or grey but rather if they are green or orange.”

    Is it a Catholic squirrel or Protestant squirrel?

  • oneill

    lots of red and no grey squirrels

    They’re still there, it’s just that they’ve been forced out of sight to the back of the bus top of tree.

  • Comrade Stalin

    It’s all grey squirrels up here in Newtownabbey right now ..

  • finn

    what noone has started painting them green yet?

    I surmise that these are actually grey squirrels from neighbouring Tyrone in GAA colours.

    Or possibly the grey ones left after been insuled some years ago by Churchill “…the dreary squirels of Fermanagh and Tyrone…..”

    And finally either grey or red are they members of The Nutting Squad

    We should be told…………..

  • Rory

    Visions of cute little furry animals, Turgon? Seems like you got hold of some serious blow, man. If I were you, man, I would keep in with that dealer.

    Peace and Love.

  • PaddyReilly

    Perhaps Northern Ireland needs to be repartitioned, so the red squirrels live in one section and the grey in another? Greenflag could come up with a plan…

  • ellie

    Chances are it is actually grey squirrels you have been seeing. The grey squirrels have a slight hint of red in their coats and are often mistaken for the red.

    http://www.elp.manchester.ac.uk/pub_projects/2002/MNBF9ALS/lecture-15.htm

  • Greagoir O’ Frainclin

    “Chances are it is actually grey squirrels you have been seeing. The grey squirrels have a slight hint of red in their coats and are often mistaken for the red.”

    Then maybe, they’re becoming more like the ‘red squirrels’ than the ‘red squirrels’ themselves!

  • darth rumsfeld

    Surely greenflag ought to be on here wibbling about repartition based on the remaining pockets of red squrrls ( that’s Ulster Scots )?

  • darth rumsfeld

    damn–paddy beat me to it

  • Sam Patton

    They have not gone away you know – they are hiding in Churchills dreary steeples of Fermanagh where they are well camouflaged against the grey background.

    Reds beware !!!!

  • Dewi

    On a technical point do they cross-breed? Are there rules on squirrel endogamy?

  • DK

    The ones in my garden look sort of reddish-grey. Could be miscegenation – or are they alliance voters?

  • Jay

    Up until this past year, the native Red squirrels have had the initiative in their ancient struggle against the Grey invaders. However, the grey squirrels are now passing along information supplied by their powerful allies in England to “loyalist” (read: morally bankrupt quislings)red/grey mongrel squirrels who are taking matters into their own hands with death squads.

    Also, even among the red squirrels GHQ there are reportedly several well placed informers.

  • Rory

    “On a technical point do they cross-breed? Are there rules on squirrel endogamy? “

    Only occasionally, Dewi, when they fall hopelessly in love and cannot be dissuaded. But even then not before both parties agree to bring the little squirrels up as Red.

  • Yvette Doll

    If you cycle early in the morning Egenderry/Drumbeg there are hundreds of them (grey), they just look at you.

    I hate to think what it is doing to Squirrel property prices.

    The red ones are cute.

    Yvette