Kevin Myers has it in for the Scots in his column this week in the Irish Independent, saying if they want independence then they should have it. Part of him even hopes that Scotland becomes an entirely independent nation, free of England, and able to choose its own future. However, there are conditions:
“Emigration to England is stopped; careers in London are forfeit; opportunities in the BBC (or rather, the EBC) are denied; Westminster is closed to ambitious young Scots, and English banks and the now Anglo-Welsh army close their ranks to Caledonians. In other words, let the Scots have independence if they want it; but let it be full.”
But he thinks most Scots don’t want full independence:
“They want some mongrel form of posturing, carping semi-dependency, in which the careers of the bright and ambitious still are directed at London, the scions of the great families will still be presented at Buckingham Palace, while the general territory of Scotland is defended by the Royal Navy and the RAF.
“Simultaneously, Scotland will have its own sovereign parliament, in which to whinge, whinge, whinge.”
He asks what happened to Scotland?
“How did the country which proportionately made a greater contribution to the intellectual vigour and strength of the English-speaking world allow itself to be reduced to the grisly, self-pitying parody of a nation that it is now?”
Gone are the days of Adam Smith and the time when “the Scots virtually invented the novel (Scott), the thriller (Buchan), the detective story (Conan Doyle), romantic fiction (Stevenson) and modern engineering.
“In recent times, however, the Scots have made self-pity into a branch of scholarship, turning themselves into the perpetual victims of English perfidy.”
And he expects a spot of criticism for having a go at the Scots, even if he is but a lowly columnist for an Irish newspaper.
“The last time I wrote critically about Scotland, just about every radio station in that country rang me up to ask why I thought so poorly of them. The very reason they asked me is the reason why I think poorly of them: why should they take the opinion of a single commentator in Ireland seriously? If they were that self-confident, they would ignore the occasional criticism from overseas. But self-confident, they are not. They are like adolescents sulking in their bedroom, threatening to leave any moment while waiting for their mother to serve up the evening meal.”
Myers feels Scotland’s position hasn’t been helped “by the parcel of Scots villains” in charge of the British Labour Party.
“At their head, of course, is Blair, the most despicable, immoral, unprincipled and worthless man to lead Britain since Lloyd George. Blair is well-matched by the Chancellor, Gordon Brown, a weak, cunning sleveen who has created the most incomprehensible tax structure since the Ottoman empire,” said Myers, before adding Derry Irvine, the Lord Chancellor, and the late Robin Cooke to his list.
“This gang of vapid charlatans have made a mockery of British democracy and, in the process, almost wrecked the union between Scotland and England,” he says.
“The English, by their weakness, have played a vital part in this grisly charade. They have indulged the spoilt brat north of the border, with £20bn a year in subsidies, even as they allow Scottish MPs to vote on English matters, while English MPs are denied reciprocal influence on Scottish affairs. When injustice becomes a norm, it is seen as a right; and the Scots, in all their wilful infantilism, now think it entirely proper for them to take money from the English taxpayer, even as they decide how that taxpayer should live. ”
Myers thinks that most Irish people would support Scots independence, even as they yearn for a united Ireland.
“But if the island of Ireland should not be divided, why should the island of Britain?” he asks.
“And why partition an entity for which Scotland provided seven prime ministers in the 20th century, and without which, in 1940, all of Europe would have become a Nazi fiefdom?
However, if the Scots do vote for independence, I trust that the English find an Idi Amin who will root out all the Scots from English life and expel them north of the border.
Then all those tiresome Scots Nats can put that in their pibroch, and wail their boring plaints at the vast dole queues vanishing into the Caledonian mists.”