Confirmed: it was performance art!?!

Michael Stone’s defence lawyer has claimed that the Stormont incident was an act of performance art.

  • David

    Sounds like an amazing performance of someone talking out of their, erm, hat…

  • bpower

    To paraphrase Jon Stewart, this story has been upgraded from “sad but funny” to “utterly hilarious”.

  • Pete Baker

    In fairness to the defence lawyer concerned, he stated that he had been instructed to tell the court that it was, supposedly, “perfomance art”.

  • Ach, it’s a cold grey day and we need a geg.

    Haven’t laughed so much since our chuckie bloggers told us the IRA hadn’t done the bank job.

  • nmc

    That’s a cracker. The man’s a joke. He should be sent to a secure mental institution for the rest of his days.

  • I Wonder

    The easiest packet of Legal Aid money ever earned.

    And that’s saying something.

  • Secur O’Crat

    Remember that when you get caught doing an armed robberey or stiffing someone. “It as only performance art, yer honour”. Nice one.

  • Nestor Makhno

    In strictly artistic terms it wasn’t much of a performance, was it?

    Worst dramatisation of a Norn Iron terrorist since Mickey Rourke in ‘A Prayer for the Dying’.

  • Dread Cthulhu

    Pete Baker: “In fairness to the defence lawyer concerned, he stated that he had been instructed to tell the court that it was, supposedly, “perfomance art”. ”

    And in all fairness, when your client is caught with “viable explosive devices” and sundry weapons, making threatening comments, etc. You haven’t much of a defense beyond the absurd.

    And, frankly, this one is up there with the “who you gonna believe, me or your damned lying eyes?” punchline.

  • I wasn’t so far off so…

  • Realist

    My sides are sore at this one.

    Best bit of oul blarney since the eco tourists’ holiday in Columbia.

  • I remember saying this, gloating over the tiddlyvid with a beero. Little did I know the snark budget had turned out to have a few million left at the end of the year.

  • Dr Strangelove

    Surely, the performance will merit an entry into next year’s Turner prize or possibly the Perrier comedy awards at the Edinburgh Fringe.

    At least Stoner will be able to amass a small fortune when he gets put away. His fellow comrade in arms John White, managed to save enough from the crafts and arts he produced, while incarcerated, to purchase a 300k house and a whopping big Chelsea tractor. Compared to White’s infantile artisitc talent, Stone will seem like Da Vinci to his neanderthal cell mates.

    On a tangential point, I was speaking to someone over the weekend who had meet Stone previously and she said he was as camp as a row of tents.

  • Canaan Banana


    Almost as good as the famous Peter Cook judicial summing up….”if you the jury somehow believe …”

  • On the subject of performance art, how about the pyrotechnics currently being performed by Big Ian to justify breaking a clear manifesto promise not to share power with the Shinners?

  • Rory

    The necessarily fleeting nature of performance art which is its great attraction is, alas, also that which frustrates us. Its mobility, evanescence, dynamic allure, becomes finally irritating in that we are destined forever only to have the poor comfort of owning it in the mind’s eye but never in reality. We cannot own it, cannot bring it to our home, can never hang it.

    We can of course always hang the artist.

  • Dread Cthulhu

    Rory: “We can of course always hang the artist. ”

    Alas, I do believe even that expedient is denied the denizens of Northern Ireland… unless, of course, you were to arrange an informal soiree in honor of the artist…

  • pith

    but what was the artist trying to say?

  • Apropos as always: The best tag line in NI cinema

    Dan Starkey: They were Protestant Paramilitaries
    Charles Parker: How could you tell?
    Dan Starkey: One: They fucked up.

  • miss fitz

    Ah, so it wasnt attempted murder then at all. Phew! what a relief, it was only art.

    I can safely assume the video will now be played in Stormont as an installation?

  • BoxtyChamp

    Similin’ Jim may also recall another topical Dan Starkey line from Divorcing Jack when he gets a dirty look for being dressed like a plamph: ‘It’s okay, I’m an artist’.

  • UB

    Even if it was a joke, at least it didn’t go off with a bang.

  • Bruce Brewster

    I can remember in the summer a Belfast man was up in court for robbing, or attempting to rob an off licence with a pellet handgun.

    His excuse was that he was trying to exchange the gun for some booze. Priceless.

  • David

    One man’s terrorist is another man’s artist???

  • Rory

    All great artists must suffer for their art.

    At least we can always hope.

  • The Lighthouse Keeper

    Maybe it was a one man “Flash Mob”???

  • Secur O’Crat

    The artist was in court today. It is a shame that Republican bs writers get government grants and Loyalalist art is locked up. Even Stalin was nicer to artists than the current SFIRA government. For shame!

  • common tater

    Does this “logic” not, by extension, make Omagh merely some sort of “street theatre?”