One thing about Paisley

Him about the place sure seems to get journalists waxing poetic. The man is described as “an ancient Galapagos turtle, older than time itself, five times the age of those who come to gawp at him” in today’s Guardian; The Times relates an exchange between him and Peter Hain: “At this, the Ancient Mariner�s face cracked into a brief smile. Mr Hain beamed back in full Star Trek transporter mode.” Does this mean if the Assembly is up and running we’ll be treated to much more colourful prose in the papers? It is certainly more fun to read.

  • Fanny

    “… older than time itself…”?

    How old would this actually make him? As old as God?

    The Guardian can’t get the staff any more.

    The Times never could, and it shows.

  • Butterknife

    Didn’t you receive the memo, Paisley is God.

  • Fanny

    LOL. The lesser among the journo brethren seem to think so.

  • circles

    BK – I wouldn’t go that far, but before he was moved downstairs, I heard he used to be quite close to him.

  • I love the comparison to a galapagos turtle

  • Fanny

    I thought that was another NI “politician”….

  • Here’s some verses from the late Ulster poet W.R. Rodgers

    Home Thoughts from Abroad

    Hearing this June day the thin thunder
    of far off invective and old denunciation
    Lambasting and Lambegging the homeland,
    I think of that brave man Paisley, eyeless
    In Gaza with a daisy chain of millstones
    Round his neck; groping like blind Samson
    For the soapy pillars and greased poles of lightning
    To pull them down in rains and borborymic roars
    Of rhetoric. There but for the grace of God goes God…..
    Some day of course he’ll be one
    With the old Giants of Ireland..
    filed safely away on the shelves
    Of memory; preserved in ink, oak gall
    Alcohol, aspic, piety, wit….
    In fond memory of his last stand
    I dedicate this contraceptive pill
    Of poetry to his unborn followers
    And I place
    This bunch of beget-me-nots on his grave.

  • Steaky

    Guardian Editors had better read this (in the hope of a job)

    “Dr Paisley looked on like a constipated Jabba the Hut, staring thoughtfully at his offspring whilst seemingly pondering how he could be his and how much nutritional value could be obtained from devouring his preposterously long face”

    Ok not my best effort but its an opening for others to give it a go, a chance to add real humour this time, not you GONZO!

  • Fanny

    “I place
    This bunch of beget-me-nots on his grave.”

    LOL. Great line.

    Steaky, not bad so far but Rodgers has the edge. Still can’t help feeling though that a haiku is too long for the soi-disant doctor.

  • Steaky

    Well that didnt provoke the tidal wave of responses I was expecting, next time, lame “joke” about the hunger strikers it is!

  • haiku for paisley

    Galapagos man
    Doctor No rages timeless
    Sack cloth and ashes

  • Fanny

    “It feels like
    I’m seventeen again
    Seventeen, seventeen

    – Annie Lennox

  • Greenflag


    The Great Jabba Jaffa versus Green Hulk Adams is just an old joke that won’t fade away .

    Anyway having said NO all his life it seems almost a travesty of natural history that this paleolithic left over should end his political career with an anaemic ‘maybe’