US Presidential Election: “I believe we can acknowledge the real truth here.”

In The Onion’s version of an op-ed, the Republican candidate for vice-president, Paul Ryan, has a message for Democratic Party attack dogs everywhere – “if we’re able to put aside the talking points for a few minutes and say what we’re all actually thinking and feeling”. I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m smart, and I’m articulate. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of you. You can pretend like you have this thing in the bag, but you know good goddamn …

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