What brings you to Slugger O’Toole?

Macha is a Slugger reader from County Armagh

I bought Slugger a Christmas Drink in 2020, so I’ve been hanging out here pretty regularly for at least four years. Often I read more than I comment, but I have been known to get drawn into long and sometimes heated debates.

While people dismiss toxic online interactions, the effect of them is not insignificant. I’m quite clear on the belief that if you are awful online, being lovely in “real life” doesn’t cancel the awfulness out. Unfortunately it’s still part of who you are.

I am not blameless. I try to immediately delete any comment I feel I have typed in anger.

I find it useful to remember why I choose to be here. It’s not primarily to win arguments or to vent, it’s to learn. I share my thoughts when I feel I have something of value to add to a discussion.

It’s generally considered rude to discuss politics at the dinner table and it’s a little off limits in many other settings. Many of us are only relaxed when discussing the politics of this island when surrounded by “our own”.

So, an opportunity to talk openly and without restraint with people from different backgrounds is a bit of a privilege.

My favourite interactions on Slugger are two way conversations, rather than tit for tat point scoring. Merely offloading prejudices and personal convictions is not really conducive to good conversation. Swinging by the comments section to platform your ideas and then leaving is an option, but not one particularly helpful to meaningful debate.

Civility is important and for me it means asking and listening, as well as talking. We tend to avoid the company of people who talk incessantly about themselves and never enquire as to how we might feel.

We are all shaped by our background and it affects how we see the world. Born into another situation a diehard republican could be a diehard loyalist. We have to accept that we are to some extent a product of our environment, rather than just our intellect. I think it’s so important to be curious about why other people may see things differently.

You can still have strong convictions. However, listening to the perspective of others can introduce a bit of balance and nuance. The bottom line is respectful discourse is not talking at people, it’s talking with them.

Of course, we don’t strictly have to do any of this. Tone and civility are hard to moderate. However, I think most people want to feel valued, listened to and be understood. I know I do. Sometimes this may mean winding my neck in, pausing for a second, listening and remembering why I am here.

I’d like to know what brings you to Slugger, if not to learn more about other’s perspectives?