Is it ever going to stop raining?

Maybe Barra Best will correct me, but it seems it has been raining practically every day since autumn. In fact, I remember last summer being pretty wet as well.

Northern Ireland can be a damp aul hole at the best of times but this is taking the piss. I have one of those weather stations in the house, and I have never seen its humidity drop below 60.

It’s bleak enough living here, but the constant grey skies do nothing to improve our mood.

My dad has been waiting to cut his grass for weeks, but it is so rain-soaked you can barely even stand on it, never mind go near it with a lawnmower.

In addition to being utterly miserable, the weather will be playing havoc with farming—soon, we will have rice paddies.

My brother-in-law is a builder and the constant rain is a pain in the neck for trying to do building work, it has delayed a lot of his projects.

What is to blame? Climate change is the obvious one. Back when it was Global warming, some of us might have liked the idea of a bit more heat, but it turns out that climate change basically means bonkers weather.

I prefer to think of it as God’s tears. He looks down on us and weeps for the sheer feckin’ mess we have made of his creation. Our constant wars and general dickish behaviour to each other. Our destruction of animal species and general ecological destruction.

This is how it ends. We will all drown in God’s tears.


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