A (Brutally) Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast

A side-effect of Belfast picking up tourism awards across the world? Visitors are now shepherded from one pre-packaged tourist ‘experience’ to a generic theme bar, finishing in shoebox glass hotel with the paint still drying on the walls.

In days gone by a local would tell you about a great wee pub, a gem of a ‘chippy’ or the best place to find a cheap pint any day of the week. But times have changed, the city has changed and the way people visit it has changed too.

Let’s be old-fashioned again and take a truly independent, brutally honest local’s view of the city you won’t hear from tour guides or tourist offices.

(Disclaimer: Includes one person’s passionate views about our beloved city, other opinions are available).

 

Where Not to Stay in Belfast

Europa Hotel image for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast

The rush to build hotels in Belfast to meet tourist demand, matched with dubious planning policy, has meant a big emphasis on quantity over quality of late. Such was the excitement of seeing cruise ships appear on the docks and the rush to start building, some projects such as the George Best Hotel haven’t (at the time of writing) even made it to opening day.

Meanwhile, the Bullitt Hotel is new(ish) but has a bit of local cheek and character while the Grand Central is unapologetically modern and high-end while delivering the attention to detail you’d expect at the price. The Merchant is a stylish, luxury option with a historic twist even though – personally – I don’t think it quite pulls it all together as a whole. The latter point also applies to The Titanic Hotel.

Of course, The Europa is feeling its age a little but dripping with history. Sure who wouldn’t want to enjoy the rooms (and bars) where Katie Adie and her political peers roamed and socialised in decades gone by.

A good lower price option is The Crescent Hotel (renamed The 1852 Hotel but this will take a few generations to catch on) if you bear in mind it’s a townhouse-style budget hotel in a busy area.

Many of the remaining hotels are cloned boxes, with no place in a historic city if truth be told, and are therefore the kind of place you’d expect to see sales reps and stag parties to booking into.  If in doubt, pick a hotel with a long history in the city.

Beyond Belfast, the Bishop’s Gate Hotel in Derry is quietly spectacular and is often overlooked by those with a Belfast-centric viewpoint despite being NI’s best hotel.

 

Where to Go in Belfast

City Hall image for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast

Belfast used to have a stunning cobbled, historic and richly cultural old district within the Cathedral Quarter on the North Street side.

Why ‘used to’? We’re currently knocking the remains down to develop a glazier’s paradise.

Like a game of Sim City (remember that?) gone badly out of hand, you’ll see cranes towering over Belfast city centre in many areas. Often, they’re sweeping the best bits of Belfast’s past away because reusing what we have has been put in the too difficult box. Sorry about that.

The shops etc area around City Hall have long since fallen to tat and nonsense visibly out of step with the wonderful, timeless building itself (tip: the superb City Hall tours are free). Also seek out the Linen Hall Library across the road to treat your senses to some spectacular social, political and literary heritage plus have a cuppa too. A tour here is also fascinating.

Do go for a walk in the Cathedral Quarter – call into the Friend at Hand whiskey shop, it’s a kind-of wee whiskey museum too, while you’re there – then head to the area around Queen’s University. If you want to see the impressive Titanic Museum over in the Titanic Quarter, take the Glider (a kind-of confused bus) or rent a Belfast Bike from one of the many ranks and nip across. Stop for a tea in The Dock honesty cafe. Further into East Belfast Stormont Parliament Buildings – the local legislative seat of NI when the spirit occasionally moves political representatives to form a government – is a stunning walk in and of itself.

Oh, Belfast centre has one of the biggest bookmaker shops in the world at High Street (called Toals) where you can rest your feet in a weirdly spacious and luxurious room full of chattering screens. You’ll find a fine old bookshop nearby on North Street (called Keats & Chapman) as well as local street art – try the excellent tour – which continues upwards towards the area in and around Union Street.

 

Where to Drink in Belfast

Kellys Cellars image for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast blog

Ah, the coach tours pulling in means, for Belfast, the theme bar and all things generic cometh.

Belfast, until very recently, could proudly claim that many world-class pubs were owned by the person whose name was found above the door.

The unique, the unusual and the traditional still exist but you’ll have a larger number of vapid and frankly dubious new arrival bars to hunt through.

Where do the locals drink? Head to The Sunflower to discover a Belfast bar worthy of the name, then to The Garrick (founded in 1870) near City Hall for, again, a proper pint in a proper pub. An alternative is The John Hewitt while The Mermaid has a timeless social club feel and is an unpretentious place to park among regulars catching up with the racing.

A new arrival is the hipstery Ulster Sports Club, a former social club and now live music venue, which is an unusual twist on the traditional pub options. Also, Belfast’s smallest pub – The Sagart – is big on welcome and the nearby historic Kelly’s Cellars may boast Belfast’s best Guinness. The Crown is, of course, impressive but take time to drop into the Whites Tavern – established in 1630 – too.

 

Nights Out in Belfast

Stand Cinema image for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast

Want to go to a historic cinema in the city centre? Bad news, we knocked them all down.

There’s still the wonderful QFT independent cinema near Queen’s and an unremarkable Odeon in Victoria Square shopping centre but that’s it. Google ‘Alhambra’ – one of countless, stunning old cinemas Belfast used to boast on every other street – to understand why this is a crying shame.

You’ll find the wonderful old art deco Strand Cinema, now a community arts centre but very much an active ‘picture house’, out of town into East Belfast with a few places to eat nearby.

For theatre, meanwhile, you’re in luck: you have the ultra-modern MAC in St Anne’s Square (near the Cathedral Quarter and also a modern art gallery), the opulent Grand Opera House near the Europa Hotel and the celebrated Lyric Theatre in the bustling, student district near Queen’s. They’re all excellent.

For live music, check what’s on in The Empire and The Limelight as well as the various concert venues.

You might have to sidestep some ‘party bike’ pub-on-wheels things as you walk. We all hate them too.

 

Eat Like a Local

Longs Chip Shop photo for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast blog

This is an easy one: Long’s for chips, Muddler’s Club for posh food (try their Old Fashioned) and Six by Nico for great food on a budget.

For coffee, try Established Coffee in the Cathedral Quarter, Kaffe O in Botanic (part of the area near Queen’s) or the Ground chain. Approach the other chain cafes with caution, except Insomnia in the now-weather-beaten Castle Court shopping centre.

 

 

Belfast and Beyond

Rathlin island photo for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast blog

If you’re hiring a car, here’s a curveball: a stop at a spectacular curio warehouse just outside the city called On The Square. You’ll find some weird and wonderful pieces of old Belfast and not a Titanic tea towel to be seen.

While you’re there, The Ulster Folk and Transport Museum is much, much better than it sounds. Why? We won’t spoil it for you…it just is. So it is.

After that, drive along the coast through Ballycastle (tip: fish and chips from Morton’s by the harbour) then the unmissable Rathlin Island and the magnificent Glens of Antrim. Where next? As much of Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge near Ballintoy and Giant’s Causeway as you feel like as well as your choice of seaside stop: Portballintrae (very small, posh), Portstewart (bigger, a bit posh) and Portrush (a ragged but fun nightlife and family spot of choice for many people in this side of NI). Give Bushmills a miss, aside from the distillery tour. To extend your stay into something a little different, also consider the ferry from Ballycastle – a pretty town with good pubs itself – to the whisky-producing Islay island for an unforgettable island experience.

A side note: countryside ‘resort’ hotels in NI aren’t what some from overseas would call a resort – especially Americans – and may not be in the best of locations. The Roe Park is a pretty good exception but, all in all, stay much closer to the places you want to see as the hotel itself won’t be worth the extra drive.

Don’t forget to spend some time in stunning Derry city – while you’re there, have a jar in the Grand Central or Sandinos and a walk along Derry’s Walls – then you’ve reached the gateway to County Donegal. Try some Football Special and go off the beaten track to, like the Glens of Antrim, find the picture postcard Ireland you’ve probably been imagining.

 

A Word About Those Fecking ‘Troubles Tours’

Peace Wall photo for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast blog

Look, ‘The Troubles’ in NI ended 20+ years ago. While there are still some hangovers from this dark era these are largely structural and there’s generally no disruption to locals going about their daily life. Meanwhile history is unkinking itself through time, albeit gradually.

If you insist on spending your holiday time staring at a concrete Peace Wall outside the city centre please feel free. But a quick note: Peace Walls don’t represent peace. They are present-day, functioning physical symbols of division. Your smiling selfie literally celebrates a monument to divided society.

If you want to celebrate peace in Belfast, support the best of Belfast such as the businesses listed here and find out about the music scenes, including punk and rave, who always rejected and railed against The Troubles. The movie Good Vibrations is an excellent primer.

Also, be aware that any tour guide who thinks they can explain Northern Ireland society or politics simply and easily – or who solely uses two ‘boxes’ to explain identity here – is either lying, lazy, on a political sales pitch or all three.

A clue though: most people in NI don’t go to church regularly or live near a Peace Wall. While every view and identity and experience is valid and equal, bear in mind that a random person may well may not even subscribe to simple concepts of identity (for one example of the complexity of this place, some consider themselves ‘Northern Irish’ and/ or be changing their opinion about a United Ireland, despite a Unionist upbringing, due to Brexit).

 

Some Final Advice

Stormont Parliament Buildings photo for Honest Visitor Guide to Belfast blog

There’s a rich, historic, friendly and proud city waiting for you in Belfast. There’s one of the biggest tourism booms in Western Europe and a rapidly expanding film and TV industry here for good reason. There’s also plenty of gloss, gibberish, glass boxed could-be-anywhereism and over-priced drinks at every turn too. Look for old Belfast in the areas we’ve talked and you’ll be grand.

A tip you won’t hear elsewhere: asking local people in a pub about The Troubles won’t be appreciated as it simply isn’t a subject people generally discuss, or want to discuss, on a night on. Even worse than this, opining loudly about the conflict based on a tour of a wall and your own pre-packaged bias and assumptions is likely to be met with awkward silence.

After all, for those so inclined, beard-stroking about our conflict (reminder: it was 20 years ago) won’t, essentially, achieve anything. But – if you really must – listen much more than you speak.

Most all, enjoy!

Ps – If you’ve come looking to explore your Irish ancestry you’ll need a drink anyway. Why? Because there’s also a good chance they were Scottish. Try the local Yardsman ale, Dunville’s whiskey or Jawbox gin. Cheers.

Images: Wikipedia and Geograph.ie

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