“Obviously, people are never going to be seized by the exact same patently bullshit sense of destiny they were last time around…”

The Onion reports, prematurely it would appear, from the Democratic Party’s National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina.  From the Onion slice.

According to sources, none of the students in attendance appeared to be discussing proposals for college debt-relief with quite the same degree of unthinking, asinine fervor as they did in 2008, nor did the older convention-goers seem quite as transfixed by the magic spell of actually believing they could retire with financial stability.

Moreover, not a single woman has thus far beamed with a comparable level of unfounded hope at the prospect of an equal pay bill, or excitedly, albeit idiotically, discussed the possibility of not leaving behind a thoroughly ravaged planet for their children and grandchildren.

“Obviously, people are never going to be seized by the exact same patently bullshit sense of destiny they were last time around, but I would like to see this convention have at least a little more of the totally deceptive electricity we saw in Denver,” convention attendee David Lowell said. “I think maybe in the next day or two people will really start to build up to moronically thinking real change is finally on its way.”

Political analysts have said that if Obama wants to regain momentum, he must use the 2012 convention to reproduce the spirit of unexamined and wholly unearned confidence that propelled millions of deluded young people to the polls in 2008, and must persuade those who voted for him four years ago that their sad, childlike trust was not misplaced.


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  • lamhdearg2

    please please pleasepleaseplease dont let the republicans win, war with iran will be hell.

    Obama and his wife have more charisma than The Others, his and her speeches should pull it round.

  • Pete Baker

    “his and her speeches should pull it round.”

    Yep. Keep wishing.

    Magical unicorn fairyland is just around the corner…

  • Scáth Shéamais

    Is Pete aware that The Onion is a satirical site?

  • Mick Fealty

    The humour tag is ticked, so I think so…

  • abucs

    No complimentary Nobel Peace Prize this time is guess?

  • Greenflag

    ‘No complimentary Nobel Peace Prize this time is guess?’

    Given that he’s managed to end the war in Iraq at least from an American casualty perspective , and arranged for a withdrawal from Afghanistan the we can only hope he manages to avoid being dragged into the Israeli/Iran nightmare .

    But to his shame there are still in Guantanamo prisoners who have been imprisoned and tortured without trial for almost a decade .

    That is a disgrace and unworthy of any leader of any democratic country which adheres to a written constitution.