If you are *really* sorry, have this on my desk by Tuesday week..

How many times have we looked for and not got an apology from a serving politician? No ‘S’ word from Martin or Gerry, or the Doc. We’re still waiting for one for Tom’s car crash election night speech. And whilst Big Al tried to make a go of it last night on Newsline, it seems no one quite believed that he really, really meant it.

So here ya go. We have the solution. It’s a pro forma apologia (H/T to Angela), where sincere repentance is just a matter of ticking the right boxes. Suitable for the fully committed constitutional politician and the (clandestinely) unrepentant paramilitary alike…

NB, Boston College depositees (aka, the unforgiven) need not apply…

Mick is founding editor of Slugger. He has written papers on the impacts of the Internet on politics and the wider media and is a regular guest and speaking events across Ireland, the UK and Europe. Twitter: @MickFealty

  • Rory Carr

    I think, Mick, that you mean that it is a pro forma apology. Perhaps you got carried away by all that Latin. Though, having said that, the pro forma does appear to be more useful as a defense of one’s action (which is what an apologia is) than a heart-felt expression of regret, which is what an apology ought to be.

  • Mick Fealty

    I was trying for something there Rory, but clearly it failed to meet the exacting standards of its target audience… 🙂

  • Rory Carr

    In all else, Mick, you have maintained your usual high performance rate. But,as Peter Cook, in his E.L Wisty persona, once sorrowfully regretted:

    “I could’ve been a judge, but I didn’t have the Latin.”

  • Mick Fealty

    Oh, I had the Latin alright, it just didn’t land as elegantly as I had hoped… Used to be a poet you know, but I’m alright now… 😉

  • Rory Carr

    And very glad to hear that “used to be” and that you are “alright now” for, as H.L. Mencken observed, “. A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child…”.

    Not that look much more than thirty mind you.

    p.s. Don’t tell Seamus.

  • Delta Omega

    Almost perfect, but under the excuses heading we surely need to add “It was taken out of context” as this is the seems to be the current prevalent response to any foot-in-mouth faux pas.

  • Rory, I haven’t gone away, you know… Forty-seven and a half, maturing slowly like a good cheese!

  • Los Lobos

    Mick, i think you owe Rory an apology!!

  • Rory Carr

    Ah, but I didn’t claim to agree with Mencken, Martin, even though he’s a most agreeable fellow most of the time (to someone of my bolshie take on things anyway). I find that it is the young, smitten poetasters we have to be wary of – try explaining to one of them fellas that they fall just a little short of Keats and you’re asking for trouble.

    In any case now you’ve gone and done it – I couldn’t sleep all last night, what with rhyming couplets running through me noggin.