Meet Kim Jong-un, he may need your advice

You’re the 20-something-year-old son of megalomaniac prison warden
who owned and ran a brutal penitentiary housing around 23 million prisoners,
many of whom are starving to death.

You’ve no real understanding of the world and nor has the world
of you
. Your father’s just died, bequeathing you the family business without any
training and, presumably, to the ire of some of Dad’s older cronies.

Your Chinese sponsor is very nervous about its own power
transition next year and will not appreciate any sudden erratic or dangerous moves.
But your estranged South Korean neighbor is ready for all-out-war at any moment
and, according to your generals, you need to establish early on that you, far
from being lost, are ready too.

2011 has seen more dictators fall than any year (seen, that
is, by everyone except by your prisoners) in your living memory and falling
means certain death for you and your family.

Oh, and you’ve a stockpile of nukes.

So, what’s your first move?