Pandas and Psephology of Scotland.

OK – we’ve finally found the formula:

If Tory MPs in Scotland = x and Giant Pandas in Scotland = y the formula is:

x=  \scriptstyle \sqrt{\,\,}(y-1)

I think that’s a pretty scientific correlation.


  • Pete Baker


    I despair…

    There’s a story there, behind your propaganda. But you have not presented it.

    Who’s responsible for the panda’s appearance in Scotland?

    I watched the SNP Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon welcome their arrival.

  • Dewi

    Propaganda? – I plead guilty on many occasions but not here. Not funny?

  • Dewi

    And it’s Pandas not Panda’s Pete – they are sensitive to grammar….

  • “Mr Salmond said he would thank the Chinese Vice Premier, Li Keqiang, in a meeting to take place in Beijing on Monday.”

    Dewi, perhaps Alex Salmond will gift that Scottish Conservative MP to China – or bring him back a political mate 😉

  • The yokel

    So if the pandas have a pup Scottish Tory MPs = 1.4142135623730951?
    I think there should be a special enclosure for Scottish tory MPs at Westminster, lets call it the house of lords, where the people would spend a fortune on their upkeep but they could spend their declining years in comfort.

  • Rory Carr

    Propaganda ? Proper panda I think.

  • Scáth Shéamais

    And it’s Pandas not Panda’s Pete – they are sensitive to grammar….

    Anyone who’s ever had to read Eats, Shoots and Leaves can attest to that.

  • The Yokel @ 8:17 am is referring to Monday’s (not a typo for Mundell’s) best Westminster quip:

    Q: Why are Giant Pandas like Scots Tories?

    A: Both seem incapable of reproduction.

    By the way, I had to be convinced by Uicipeid (which recognises all of half-a-dozen Scots Tories) that the Gaelic version of the official name is Pàrtaidh Tòraidheachd na h-Alba.

  • carnmoney.guy

    So same formula can be used for Alliance party MP in NI?

  • Dewi

    carnmoney – the causal link is territorial – how many Pandas have you got?

  • Reader

    Dewi: And it’s Pandas not Panda’s Pete – they are sensitive to grammar….
    Then surely it’s “pandas’ appearance” (the appearance of the pandas.)

  • Dewi

    Nope in this context just “Pandas” plural….

  • ordinary joe

    You’re right, Reader – a possessive plural, so “pandas’ appearance”.

  • Dewi

    Sorry – possessive plural – correct!

  • Pete Baker’s first comment above should have rung bells. However, for those who haven’t seen the current Private Eye, here’s some clarification:

    Why is the Scottish government so keen to, ahem, pander to China?

    The arrival of Sweetie and Sunshine at Edinburgh Zoo generated lots of syrup, but the cuddly pandas are hardly a “gift”. The zoo is paying a “substantial” sum, said by the Scottish press to be more than £1m a year over ten years, to lease the animals, which remain the property of the Chinese government.

    Meanwhile, thousands of tons of Scottish salmon will be heading in the other direction. More than 2,300 tons of the stuff was exported to China in the first six months of this year, a 600 percent rise, after the Scottish and Chinese governments agreed to allow seafood exports directly from Scotland.

    This huge increase means many more polluting fish farms (Eyes passim), with 441 applications for new or enlarged developments in lochs or at sea approved in the past three years.

    But why the sudden enthusiasm for Scottish fish? Surely not because China, in a fit of pique, has blocked imports of previously popular Norwegian salmon after Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo last December?

    The Norwegian fisheries minister was snubbed on her visit to China soon after the Nobel awards, and Norway has reported China to the World Trade Organisation after it introduced “veterinary” controls that left Norwegian salmon rotting in warehouses, while Scottish salmon was allowed in. No doubt the Scottish exports will continue — so long as Alex Salmond can hold his tongue on China’s fishy human rights record.

  • Rory Carr

    Them there pandas sure are proliferatin’:

    nuthin’ to do with me, guv. Honest !

  • Dewi