Is Newt on the Ball? – Unionist support Dana!

I will confess I’m loving the Presidential election, mainly because it is of little real relevance , but close enough to home to be interesting, and not least often amusing. Now that we know the final seven, yes SEVEN, candidates I have decided that I am going to support Dana, probably as the underdog in the race as much as anything, but still with a remote chance.  It seems I am not the only Unionist thinking this way as this article by Newton Emerson in the Irish Times illustrates.  As is often the case his insight can be pretty close to the bone, here are a few samples of reasons for Unionists (obviously with under duress) to vote Dana for those too lazy to click the link!

“1 Dana and Martin McGuinness were born within a year of each other and grew up in the same working-class housing estate in Derry, yet Dana did not join the IRA. This proves there was never any social, political or historical inevitability about Martin McGuinness joining the IRA.

2 Dana has murdered several songs, but always on the record.

3 Dana was actually born in London, so a brief biography of her childhood can get the words “London” and “Derry” quite close together, as in “London-born Derry singer Dana”. Technically, this also makes her even more British than Mary McAleese.

4 Dana is a proper Catholic. Proper Protestants respect this. It’s lapsed Catholics we don’t trust.

5 Dana’s husband was involved in the Catholic Church’s charismatic renewal movement in the 1970s, making him one accident of birth away from being a proper Protestant himself.”

There are another 10 on web site.

PS. with regards the other North West candidate, part of me almost wants him to win, just to get him out of the road and see how SF operates without its big two, plus it has the potential of being a poison chalice for them.  On the other hand I would much rather see him fail  miserably, by which I mean less than 15% of the vote.  A close second would be the best outcome for SF in my opinion, oh what fun.

  • Id certainly vote for Martin……..but Id not like him to actually win.
    My best result would be if he lost after a recount……that way SF makes themselves extremely relevant but doesnt have that awkward moment (which they dont actually want anyway) of Martin stepping out in front of a Rugby crowd.
    And with my perfect result…..the Opposition……or Media as they are sometimes called……..get mightily annoyed.

  • Greenflag

    Looks like Newt is back in form . Hilarious on the one hand and thought provoking on the other . But he overplayed the hand . Had he narrowed it down to one section within ‘unionism ‘ say the ‘turgonites ‘ for want of a better name then he could have used another section say the Northdownites to do a 15 pointer on Norris with another section say the Elliotites on MItchell and so on .

    I’m not fussed as to who wins as long as it’s not Higgins , Mitchell or Gallagher . Our present government or the previous shower should not be given anything by the electorate that might be interpreted as an ‘endorsement ‘.
    The game is on .

    The more important game is on Sunday with the Italians hoping to send our World Cup dreams back another 4 years –

  • DR, perhaps her rendition of Totus TUAS(?) inspired Martin to declare that his war was over …

  • the wrong side of 40

    Leaving the humour aside there may actually be something in this.

    With her fervent anti abortion and conservative family value views she actually has a fair bit in common with quite a number of the unionist community.

  • “WHO WOULD Ulster Protestants vote for in the presidential election, if we had a vote and were forced at gunpoint to use it?” .. Newt

    Ulster Protestants in Donegal, Cavan and Monaghan, er, do have a vote …

  • 241934 john brennan

    Nevin: ‘perhaps her rendition of Totus TUAS(?) inspired Martin to declare that his war was over’

    Totus Tuas was written and sung by Dana, for the Pope’s 1979 visit to Ireland, when he said: “What Christianity forbids is to seek solutions to these situations by ways of hatred, by the murdering of defenceless people, by the methods of terrorism…. nobody may ever call murder by any other name than murder”.

    We may take it for granted Dana was with the Pope in support of his Drogeda speech, appealing against violence “on his bended knees.” – and that Sinn Fein, including Martin McGuinness were opposed to the Pope and his message. Even before he got on his plane to go home, SF/IRA issued a statement to the effect that the Pope should stick to religion and had no authority in political matters and no rights in speaking against ‘the republican struggle’

    In short Sinn Fein was on the same side as the loyalist graffiti writers – ‘F.T.P.’

    So if Dana’s rendition of Totus Tuas inspired Martin to declare his war was over, why did it take more than 20 years for the penny to drop? – and what was he doing during all that time?

  • keano10

    Jesus. Thats two of the most bizarre posts you could wish to read. Anyone who implies (jocularly or otherwise) that ANY song by Dana could inspire anyone to do anything, must be delerious. Aretha Franklin she aint…

    By the way seeing as Norris and McGuinness are being crucified by the media over their values and beliefs, i hope that the media circus grill Dana over her steadfast opposition to abortion, contraception and divorce…

    Which of other anthems has inspired the generations then? Surely not “somethings cooking in the kitchen”…?!

  • babyface finlayson

    Keano10
    Don’t you think the media are more interested in Martin’s deeds than his values and beliefs?

  • Drumlins Rock

    babyface, as the good book says “by their fruits ye shall know them”

  • babyface finlayson

    Drumlins
    Well the good book says many a thing, including “not by works lest any man should boast”, which I always thought contradicts your one. It’s great stuff for a quote to back you up though. Give me Ecclesiastes over Shakespeare any day.

  • Rory Carr

    “i hope that the media circus grill Dana over her steadfast opposition to abortion, contraception and divorce…”

    We should be careful of whatt we wish for, Keano, lest our wishes be granted.

    In this case it might serve to remind an awful lot of people why they were opposed (if not so implacably) to abortion and divorce in the first place. And, as for contraception, aren’t men conflicted on the matter ? They don’t mind it so much for women, but not so keen when it comes to using one themselves. (“It just doesn’t feel natural, darling.I’ll be careful, I promise.”).

  • Rory Carr

    “T” for two in the second para above is the result of typing error, not an expression of my ever-abundant hospitality.

  • Harry Flashman

    “Dana and Martin McGuinness were born within a year of each other and grew up in the same working-class housing estate in Derry, yet Dana did not join the IRA. This proves there was never any social, political or historical inevitability about Martin McGuinness joining the IRA.”

    As usual with Newt, he hits the target with his humorous barbs.

  • Harry Flashman @ 11:48 am:

    grew up in the same working-class housing estate in Derry

    So neatly expressed. The Islington girl done good, huh?

    So, now we’ve added Mr McGuinness, Mrs Scallon and Senator Dr Norris to the ticket. For some unaccountable reason the following exchange came to mind:ARTHUR: Let’s see… E… Earth… Tap out the code…
    There’s the page… It doesn’t seem to have an entry!

    FORD: Yes it does! See, right there at the bottom of the
    screen, just under ‘Eccentrica Gallumbits, the
    Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six’.

    ARTHUR: What, there? Oh yes…

    THE BOOK: Harmless.

    ARTHUR: Harmless? Is it all it’s got to say? One word?
    Harmless? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?

    FORD: Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the
    galaxy, and a limited amount of space in the book! And no
    one knew much about the Earth, of course!

    ARTHUR: Well, I hope that you managed to rectify that a
    little!

    FORD: Yes, I’ve transmitted a new entry out to the editor.
    He had to trim it a bit, but it’s still an improvement.

    ARTHUR: What does it say now?

    FORD: Mostly harmless.

    ARTHUR: Mostly harmless?

    FORD: Well, that’s the way it is! We’re on a different
    scale now!

  • Dana has recorded several singles written specifically for an Ulster Protestant audience. Hits include No Road Back, A Ticket to Nowhere, Who Put the Lights Out and There’s Nothing You Can Do to Change My Mind

    She recorded the official World Cup song for the Northern Ireland squad which went to Spain in 1982.

  • between the bridges

    chekov, tbh i don’t remember dana’s song i do remember ”Im yer man i’m yer man and ill be in the stand!!!!!!!!! Cherring northern ireland”

  • Greenflag

    @ malcom redfellow ,

    ‘For some unaccountable reason the following exchange came to mind:ARTHUR’

    Which exchange of course for some very countable reasons brought to mind the number 42 🙂

    If any of the presidential candidates can reach the magic 42% in first preferences then they will win . But before any can hope to reach that figure they will first have to put a Dent ( with apologies to Arthur) into the support numbers now being shown for their competition .

    All candidates and in particular some of the more exotic candidates can expect a large scale assault on their candidacies by the Vogons who haven’t gon away even if their former base in Fleet Street has now been shunted out to some galactic suburb beyond the centre of the universe ..

    @ chekov ,

    Heres a reminder of the good old days when Northern Ireland although failing to win the cup actually qualified which itself was a great achievement . The previous success being in 1958 iirc . Not a bad little ditty especially that viva bit in the middle.

    http://www.footballandmusic.co.uk/dana-is-yerman/

  • Rory Carr

    Harry Flashman, with his usual unerring instinct for the fine detail, has homed in on the relevant point from Newton’s list here.

    It was of course Britain’s disgraceful award of ‘Nil points’ to Martin’s entry in the 1970 Eurovision Song Contest, “All Kinds of Nathin’-at-all” and its consequent failure to win the contest that has long been held reponsible for sending our boy down another path.

    As we now know the UK’ s witholding of points resulted in first prize being undeservedly awarded to Luxembourg’s entrant, Zany Bougainville with his controversial song, “Ne Touchez-pas Le Pouf ” and the rest, as they say, is history.

  • BluesJazz

    Dana, I remember well for this risque song, with dodgy lyrics which I doubt RTE will not be showing muchof….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsgD6X0QAuU

    ‘eating out’ indeed

  • BluesJazz

    shorter version, but you get the ‘message’ ahem

  • BluesJazz

    You can take the girl out of the bogside…

  • ayeYerMa

    This piece is out of jest, but if I were to address the point seriously then the last person any Unionist would support would be any person north of the border as they are only regurgitating this nonsense that the Southern President somehow represents the whole island.

  • BluesJazz

    Dana is actually English. It appears anyone in the world can apply, a bit like the rose of tralee or something. Dustin the Turkey applied in 1997 and came fifth.
    If Jack Charlton applied he’d probably win by a mile.

    Or Henrik Larrson