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Royal Wedding

on 29 April 2011 , 1:16 am 70 | 15 views

There’s a royal wedding today. How are you celebrating the day?. Me, i’m off to work…

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  • I suppose if I was a real Jacobite (rather than a Jacobin) I would be get a glass of water, leave it on the table and drink a non-alcoholic toast to “the king over the watter” (sic)…..who is the rather inoffensive “King Francis II” (aka Duke in (sic) Bavaria) who wants nothing to do with Jacobite nutters but is much too polite to tell them they are lunatics.
    As I am father of the groom at a wedding later this year…I am particuarly worried that the Republican women in my family circle dont get any more ideas than they already have to make me part with my hard earned pension.
    But they have crossed the Crown Prince of Bahrains name off the invitation list…..about which Im glad. Gaddafi stays on the list.
    Hopefully William or Harry and Kate Middleclass will not have sculptured ice swans…..which I am unreliably informed take ten hours to melt. The father of the bride (a man even more tortured by wedding plans than I am) and I have a pact. We will take turns to watch these swans melt so that our happy couple dont waste a single penny.

    As for my own plans tomorrow, I had intended to get in the car with Mrs FitzjamesHorse and go a very long way away from TV sets.
    This plan was scuppered by the Sky Satelite being broken by my grandson playing football with me. Of course I get the blame for this.
    So I cant get away tomorrow as the man comes to fix it and I have to wait patiently by the phone so that he can tell me he cant find the house.
    Then I will insist on the Cartoon Network is on as I dont want him testing our reception with the “Royal Wedding”.
    The good thing is that Mrs FJH will not be provoked into shouting at the TV by the mere sight of Eamonn Holmes who always seems to bring out the worst in her.
    In the evening we are having a “Not the Royal Wedding BBQ” and already sorted out the bunting which dates from World Cup 2002. Can I get a grant for this?

  • Alias

    It would have been nice if they’d eloped to Las Vegas and married in one of those Elvis chapels…

  • joeCanuck

    My wife, her sister and sister in law have arranged to have a party and watch a recording. I did not have any difficulty in persuading my dear lady that it would be unadvisable to have the party in our house. I won’t see any of it as no republican anywhere should have. As a young couple, I wish them all the best in the future and that’s as far as it goes.

  • joeCanuck

    Should mention that the incredibly offensive snub to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown clearly shows where the Royal Family’s political sympathies lie.

  • Here in the “Republic” were I work there’s a bottle of champagne in the fridge to celebrate the big moment.

    But, I work with luvies in the media, so they can’t be helped

  • Correction 5 bottles of champage – things could get messy!

  • A Right Royal Master Stroke with the King Marrying as an Irish Guard.

  • AGlassOfHine

    I,like 2.5 Billion people,shall be watching avidly.

  • pippakin

    Even on Slugger! Is no where safe?

    I have been trying to see the news and I’m pleased to say that Al Jazeera were reporting actual news, well they were about ten minutes ago.

    I have some gardening to do and some shopping. I will look at the dress later. Surely no one has a whole day to spare.

    Snub to Blair and Brown? don’t be silly! For once the royals were on the side of public opinion. William appears more Windsor than Spencer, which is a pity

  • 241934 john brennan

    Another great day for the PETER and I party. Another King William is destined to leave his footprint on Carrickfergus.

    To paraphrase Martin: “This wull be another hugely significant step forward.”

  • Mick Fealty

    Pip,

    My advice? GO back to bed, or borrow the neighbour’s dog and take it for a very very long walk… 🙂

  • pippakin

    Mick Fealty

    Most of us (if we are lucky) die in bed. I have a Wisteria and two rose bushes to plant, that done I’m going to town to buy more. My female side will catch up with the dress later. If anyone actually read some of my comments, or even looked at the little blog, they would know I have two dogs of my own,…

  • Cynic2

    Joe

    Who would want Gordon Brown at their wedding?

  • Nordie Northsider

    Today, I will be mostly watching TV Cinq.

  • Zachariah Tiffins Foot

    Cynic2

    Mrs Brown?

  • RepublicanStones

    From Krishnan Guru-Murthy’s Twitter

    “Phew, trees in the Abbey look marvellous…and Prince Charles will have someone to talk to, which is nice”

    https://twitter.com/krishgm/status/63868677619060736

  • AGlassOfHine

    Resplendent in the uniform of the Irish Guards.

    Makes you proud to be British,what,what ?

  • Luckily the satelite TV man wont be here until between 2pm and 5pm so thankfully I will miss most of it.
    A person does not have to be Irish, or Republican or Nationalist to be offended by the charade. Quite a lot of (not just) Guardian reading normal English people will be offended.
    Paradoxically there is champagne on ice in Dublin and Katy Couric and a host of media Yankies are in prime positions at St Pauls or Westminster Abbey and people will be glued to their TV sets Des Moines Iowa.
    Big pay day for “Royal Watchers” especially those recently retired to explain it all to the Yanks and pose as experts on Sky News. A group of experts who look like extras from Brideshead Revisited or Life of Oswald Moseley.
    To my immense delight my English friends are ignoring it, including a friend who writes very well about life in Middle England (or Middle Narnia as she calls it).
    So a day out for the kinda middle Englander who used to queue all week to see Tim Henman lose at Wimbledon. Some old dear from Battersea will get on TV to tell us how she queued all night to see the Queen get married to the Greek guy.
    A fairytale that disguises the crude underbelly of British life. A Head of State obliged to be of a certain religion and obliged not to marry a Catholic. Is there a position on Hindus, Muslims……or ahem persons of colour. Best not to mention that the Old Queen Mum had very strange views about black men in the Household Cavalry.
    Nick Witchell will be in his best forlock tugging form……(possibly the only redeeeming feature of the Windsors is that “they cant stand that man”).
    But its a place where Pretend Britain meets Real Britain.
    A place where three young presenters on Blue Peter can close their show by saying how much they were all looking forward to watching the wedding on TV.
    Blue Peter ……ah diverse multi ethnic presenters but none is going to say “actually I am in the quite large minority of people who think the royal family are parasites”.
    Gin and tonics and Blue Peter badges all round.

  • 241934 john brennan

    Oh the delightful irony! Gerry is Baron Northrop, and William is now Baron Carrickfergus. Perhaps, they should swap titles?

  • Pete Baker

    Well, coverage of the first of two live IPL T20 cricket matches today starts at 11am…

  • Drumlins Rock

    Just like to wish Baron and future Lady Carrickfergus all the best, am enjoying all the pomp and colour.

    For the cynics out there who think it is pointless and excessive, look back to the hype we endured last year with small groups of men chase a lump of air filled cowhide round a South African field, that was pointless with bells on it. 🙂

  • Zachariah Tiffins Foot

    There’s nothing like a Royal wedding to bring out the sad old bitter farts to pontificate about how dreadful themuns are. My advice: go and find some quiet corner to seethe and weep about the unjustness of it all.

    No such luck I fear they now seek their rights to be offended via the cathode-ray tube and then insist on channeling their chagrin to the rest of us.

  • Cynic2

    Good point …..but shows a lack of taste?

  • RepublicanStones

    FJH We all know about the sectarian legislation surrounding the British monarchy and odious views of some of it’s members. But today can be criticised plenty without needing to break out that playbook. My anti-monarchism aside, let’s not forget there’s a young couple underneath all the pomp, quite clearly in love, and for all we know they may very well disagree with those most disagreeable issues you raised. I’d hazard a guess the young couple are embarrassed enough at the fuss, no need to open an oil tanker over them on their big day.

  • Congal Claen

    I’ve a copy of Cromwell that I could lend any republicans out there. But then maybe they’re not true republicans and would rather watch some “Ben and Holly” type version of Irish history…

  • I am so so sad Haitian tv is not showing the wedding live.

    Not.

  • Rory Carr

    I was at a loss as to what to do today until my grandaughter (4yrs) told me that they were having a street-party in her street and that I could come, which at last gave me something something positive I could do by ostentatiously declining.

    She gave me a funny look.

    I had a chuckle when, on Radio 4 news, I learned that, “Royal Wedding guests at Westminster Abbey will today be required to produce utility bills in order to identify themselves.”

    A bit tacky you might think but at least it shouldn’t be much of a problem for those invited Members of Parliament who have shown themselves very adept at producing bills for their multiple residences in the past.
    In any case I am busy preparing for my daughter’s birthday and, unknown to her at this stage, surprise engagement party on Sunday. In common with the prince and his bride-to-be I have also left Tony Blair off the guest list at our do. But we shall not be asking that guests bring along their gas bills as it would only provide an opportunity for some of them to poor-mouth me for a loan to prevent cut-off.

  • Alias

    “Just like to wish Baron and future Lady Carrickfergus all the best, am enjoying all the pomp and colour. ”

    And it’s nice of the future king and queen of NI to remind the locals of where their dominion extends. Others might think it amounts to rubbing the ‘nationslists’ noses in their own defeat but that would be too unkind.

  • pippakin

    Its easy to be offended, to see a slight where none may exist… I wish the young couple well. As much as its an ordeal for some of us, its a greater ordeal for them although Kate does seem to be having a hard time keeping the grin off her face.

  • best comment i have seen so far via facebook

    “Don’t these people know there’s a war on?”

  • JR

    I won’t be taking any lessons on Irish history from someone named Congal Claen. Mythology maybe

  • John D

    Have taken a break from working out my 2010-11 taxes (I guess they’ll need my contribution sooner than usual this year) to look at Slugger. … Later in the day hope to be at the Derry Jazz Festival, which surely will be a royalty-free zone

  • Im looking forward to the interview she will do with Martin Bashir in a few years time. It seems to be part of the mystique.

  • Congal Claen

    Hi JR,

    It’s not actually my name…

  • Drumlins Rock
  • andnowwhat

    I’ve been so excited about this day. To say I hope it goes well is an understatement.

    I just hope that Arsenal win it

  • Reader

    Alias: Others might think it amounts to rubbing the ‘nationslists’ noses in their own defeat but that would be too unkind.
    If it was Coalisland, you might have a point, but it’s Carrickfergus, so you don’t.
    But, wasn’t the Principle of Consent claimed as a victory anyway?

  • andnowwhat

    Is anyone running a book on how the “cross community” party in Suffolk will work out?

  • Henry94

    In keeping with family tradition William has now changed his Facebook status from Single to It’s Complicated

  • andnowwhat

    Very good Henry.

  • USA

    Went to work like any normal day, but have been suprised by the interest here in the US. When I left the house this morning at 6:30am, my wife was up watching it on TV.
    Arrived in work to see the whole secretarial pool wearing tiaras. Another department (all female) were watching it on CNN.com and a lot of water cooler talk around the building.

  • andnowwhat

    I heard Jenny Bond on the radio yesterday saying that some of the americans had heard that the wedding was rushed because they heard that the queen was ill and might die soon.

    Where the hell did they get that from?

  • Rory Carr

    Royal Marriages and their Honorable Tradition – A Short History:

    Princess Margaret m. Anthony Armstrong Jones. Divorced

    Princess Anne m. Capt. Mark Phillips. Divorced

    Prince Charles m. Lady Diana Spencer Divorced

    Prince Andrew m. Sarah Ferguson Divorced

    Perhaps as well as leaving out the “obey” business from Ms Middleton’s vows they might also wish to consider dispensing with the rather redundant “till death us do part” bit.

    At least they haven’t maintained the Honorable Tradition set by the prime Protestant monarch and gone, “divorced, beheaded, divorced… etc.” although, in the case of Charles and Diana, the Daily Express might beg to differ.

  • Greenflag

    A great day for the UK and royalists and for the fashionistas everywhere .Lets wish the young couple a long and and happy union . Their day after all .

  • andnowwhat

    If the (latest) excuse for not inviting Blair and Brown is that Wm is not the heir to the throne, why is today a national holiday?

    It was interesting that it was The Mail(followed by The Times) that shot down the Knights of the Garter nonsense though

  • andnowwhat

    A great day for the UK and royalists and for the fashionistas everywhere .Lets wish the young couple a long and and happy union . Their day after all .

    Greenflag

    Very true. Saying anything negative about a newly married couple (although My Big Fat Gypsy wedding does test the idea) is second worse only top telling a new mother that her child is ugly

  • Rory Carr,
    Not forgetting the curious case of “Princess Anne” who coouldnt get married in English Church (being kinda divorced) so became Scottish or some such…….so er thats ok.
    And the “Duke of Kent” freemason guy married a woman who I suppose became “Duchess of Kent” and ……..she became a Catholic.

  • I missed the actual wedding because of travel arrangements but here I am now in Northampton looking forward to a bit of street party fun.

    There is plenty of talk, these days, about whether the monarchy will survive beyond the medium term future. There seems to be a rising number of people in Great Britain that would rather be part of a repubulic. The main argument, which I hear droning over and over again, is that it is “undemocratic” and “everybody should start life with a chance of being head of state.” Well, I suppose that if we were desiging the nation and a constitution from scratch in the 21st century, we would not have a monarch.

    I know where I stand in the argument though. If there was no Royal family, there would be a certain emptiness about the state of Great Britain. We would certainly, culterally, be a different country. For a start, we would not be called “the United Kingdom.” The “united what?” I wouild not want that. I am happy with having a monarch. It is an emotional thing – not one based upon best constitutional priniciples. Long live the Queen!

    So there you have it. I am a monarchist. Now I’m off to that street party. I hope you all enjoy the rest of the day as I will!

  • vanhelsing

    Great day, watched it with my wife, mother in law and our 5 day old daughter. Even got a picture of her with a teddy wearing a Royal Wedding jumper [that’s my daughter – not my mum in law] .

    Best wishes to our future King and his new bride:)

    As an aside I thought the Aston was a nice touch.

  • USA

    Andnowwhat,
    Had not heard that, it’s anyones guess how such a rumour may get started. After all, lots of folks in Britain and Ireland still believe Lady Diana was murdered. Given the evidence that would seem pretty silly too.

  • ForkHandles

    “There’s nothing like a Royal wedding to bring out the sad old bitter farts to pontificate about how dreadful themuns are.”

    LOL ! Well put.
    I was watching bits of it on BBC World. Seemed to be a great day. As they say, everyone loves a Royal Wedding. Apart from the bitter old farts ofcourse 🙂

  • Alias

    Reader, the point is there, as it is intended to be by the choice of title. Your failure to understand is your difficulty, not mine.

    The point being that the nationalists were defeated in their challenge to the British constitution and duly endorsed it, and the future embodiment of that constitution is simply reminding them of it.

    But the Mayor of Carrickfergus is delighted that the future embodiment of that British constitution has shown that he regards NI as part of his dominion:

    “It’s an extreme thrill for the people of Carrickfergus to have this honour bestowed on them.”

    It’s probably “an extreme thrill” for one community in Carrickfergus but pure sectarianism for the other.

  • Rory Carr

    BBC Radio4 has reported that over 50 arrests have been made mainly under the catch-all guise of causing a breach of the peace. These included arrests made on individuals displaying anti-monarchist placards and, perhaps the most disgraceful of all, the arrests last night of some individuals, including a 67 year old, who were planning a piece of street theatre that included a mock royal execution. One arrest was made under “terrorist offences” though the BBC reported that charges in this instance were likely to be dropped (now that the arrest itself has served its purpose). Some poor sod with a camera in the vicinity of an over-zealous copper no doubt.

    Arrests under terrorism laws of people assumed to be taking photographs of police officers have become all too commonplace of late and it is now about as safe to be seen with a camera within 50 ft. of a British policeman as it once was to be so equipped close to a Soviet air facility.

    In order to facilitate the illusion of royalist harmony it seems that it was felt necessary to ride roughshod over basic rights of assembly and any expression of mild opposition.

  • Mac

    ” As they say, everyone loves a Royal Wedding. Apart from the bitter old farts ofcourse”

    hear hear
    I had my hair styled with 4 forelocks this fine morn, my only regret is not having 4 hands to tugs at them simultaneously.

  • Dewi
  • joeCanuck

    I like to keep up to date with world news via the TV. Been impossible today. Anyone know what’s happening in the arab lands?

  • Zig70

    My wife started the day watching the bbc with the sound off, then the sound slowly got turned up. Then off again when the bbc called Kate ‘the commoner’. This is real politics. How to get people to cheer while you spend £26m of their money. Ultimate people management, just need to figure out how to do it in my own wee work empire. 2FM commentary was hillarious.

  • 241934 john brennan

    Wack fol the diddle
    I’ll sing you a song of peace and love,
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.
    To the land that reigns all lands above.
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.

    May peace and plenty be her share
    Who kept our homes from want and care,
    God bless Mother England is our prayer.
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.

    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.
    So we say, Hip Hooray!
    Come and listen while we pray.
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.

    When we were savage, fierce and wild
    She came like a mother to her child.
    She gently raised us from the slime
    Kept our hands from hellish crime,
    And sent us to Heaven in her own good time.

    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.
    So we say, Hip Hooray!
    Come and listen while we pray.
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.

    Now our fathers oft were very bad boys.
    Guns and pikes are dangerous toys.
    From Bearna Baol to Bunker Hill
    They made poor England weep her fill,
    But ould Brittania loves us still!

    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.
    So we say, Hip Hooray!
    Come and listen while we pray.
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.

    Now Irishmen, forget the past!
    And think of the time that’s coming fast.
    When we shall all be civilized,
    Neat and clean and well-advised.
    And won’t Mother England be surprised?

    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.
    So we say, Hip Hooray!
    Come and listen while we pray.
    Whack fol the diddle all the di do day.

  • joeCanuck

    Dewi,
    I thought it was a public holiday. Are you self employed or in an essential service?

  • gréagóir o frainclín

    There was tremendous hype in the Irish media about the royal wedding here in the Irish Republic….sorta the same hype ye’d get surrounding celebs etc… which I dislike. But I saw the royal wedding today on the evening Irish news and it indeed looked great, all the pomp and circumstance etc.. (also moments of some casualness and light heartedness by the wedding party) and in all fairness it was a great day for the English and British folk. These images were beamed throughout the world and it was fantastic PR for the UK. And sure ye’d have to be very, very bitter to be resentful about the whole thing.

    Also, as a contrast, I thought of the image of that inaudible ranting overweight fat bloke in the balaclava last week and it is definitely not the image of Ireland and the Irish that the majority of Irish folk want to portray – cultureless, violent, petty, provincial and thick. I was reminded of stereotype depictions of the Irish in Punch magazine. I thought those days was long gone!

  • Dewi

    Joe – I went to work for a laugh…

  • Alias

    Rory, Scotland Yard issued a press release declaring that dissent would not be tolerated as it was to “a day of celebration” and not “protestation.”

    Instead of rebuking the police’s effrontery to democracy, the BBC carried it verbatim. That is political policing where the police demand that every citizen celebrates the monarchy, and actively threatens all dissenters.

  • between the bridges

    just in from my community royal wedding, thousands of happy people enjoying a good day out, I do hope that it is allowed and offends everyone…that so wants to be lol! and those you aren’t, omg are you not ashamed of been such a bigoted sh it? from one who would dare to enjoy a day in the sun…

  • joeCanuck

    Disgraceful generalization of those of us who are republicans,btb. Shame on you.
    I’m happy for those who enjoyed the day; my dear wife was among them.

  • between the bridges

    Joe I hope she is ashamed of herself as I was, disappointed as I am that the Klan and the bnp didn’t not turn up to the soiree as promised, it still managed to be a day out…

  • 241934 john brennan

    ROYAL WEDDING SUMMARY

    Be advised my passport’s green.
    No glass of ours was ever raised
    To toast the queen
    •
    “Golden lads and lasses must
    Like chimney-sweepers come to dust.” –
    •
    It’s over, let it go
    You gotta let it go
    Let it go, let it go
    •
    May they both see their children’s children
    To the third and fourth generation
    •

  • PaddyReilly

    Didn’t notice much celebration here (in t’North of England)— the England v Germany match was much, much bigger. This seems to be predominantly a women’s thing. Mostly they are plotting the choreography of their own weddings, or reliving them.

    Significantly though one of the two flags in the street where I have breakfast had a Red Hand of Ulster on it. The Scots in particular are less than impressed—Cameron Reilly’s being a fairly typical response—and male Northerners, even those who have served in the Army, seem less than enamoured.

    Spent the day reading an account of the Chinese Cultural Revolution. From what I see of the wedding on the computer news, it was a nice use of colour. The ‘ceremony’ was a waste of time, due to the idiot Protestant emphasis on congregational singing and the absurdities of the Anglican compromise. Westminster Abbey has one of the best choirs in the country, and yet they demanded the congregation sing. It’s like going to the best restaurant in town and then eating your own sandwiches.

  • Mr Crumlin

    As a committed republican I tried to avoid the wedding but inevitably I failed …. and ended up telling my son how the British won the 2nd world war with the spitfire!

    My daughters thought it was a real life Cinderella and as much as I wanted to tell a five year old about 800 years of imperialist oppression, I couldnt bring myself to do it.

    I am glad it is over and I will avoid the news today for sure but Kate did look well and the Brits proved again that no-one does pomp quite like them. In saying that no-one does the occupation of Ireland quite like the Brits either! 😉

  • pippakin

    At the end of the day the only thing I really, really envied them is the Aston Martin. I love that car.

  • rhys

    I went to my Latin class. My wife meant to watch it but was put of by the anti-Labour spite and turned off. It was very much an English tory occasion, wasn’t it? Why bother – it only encourages the flabby etonian farts and their flabby dook. Stuff ’em.