‘Who’s pulling the purse strings?’ (satire)

The lackey campaign: ‘Who’s pulling the purse strings?’ asks ex-MLA Silly Storey

If someone said to you, there is a sizeable group of people whose actions are designed to :

  • Cause the normalisation of the six counties
  • See British troops barracked in their thousands
  • See sectarian triumphalism carried out by loyalists
  • Ensure the democratic deficit buttressing Unionism
  • Increase support for partitionism in Ireland and internationally
  • See an enforcement of a Unionist veto in which reactionaries wield the same political power as ever and are using it to advance a British and Unionist agenda;

Who would you think they were referring to? British military intelligence ? Or people calling themselves ‘Nationalist’? Some of the individuals who are involved in these alleged constitutional parties may genuinely but mistakenly believe they are furthering a Nationalist cause. Some are using such groups as flags of convenience for self advancement. Others are – without a shadow of doubt – working to enrich themselves, to feed off the working class while pretending an interest in reunification. The SDLP and SF fought a political struggle to remove IRA volunteers from the six counties- the actions of these people are designed to bring them back. That needs to be called for what it is – a Sunningdale agenda.

So there is a question to be put to these groups. Who is pulling your purse strings? Do you even know

-Silly Storey

an Phoblact original

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  • anne warren

    Does Silly?

  • White Horse

    Answer: The same people who pulled the purse strings of An Phoblacht and Sinn Fein and the IRA in the dark days.

  • Reader

    It’s hard to feign sympathy for mainstream republicanism. However:
    Plan A (violence) was a failure and a moral and strategic catastrophe. Plan B (demographics) was a bit of an embarrassment even when it looked like working. That leaves plan C (keep pushing while not rousing the headcases: See plan A).
    You have just given your alternative description of plan C.

  • Dixie

    Did anyone see those red, white and blue movies of Willie Frazer, where he rambles to a camcorder about moor-doorers in Ah-ma?

    Well the Storey Teller seems to have started rambling down the same road only he doesn’t use a camcorder.

  • West Sider

    Isn’t satire supposed to be funny?

  • West Sider

    There’s an interesting article in today’s ATown News about the CIRA in west Belfast. Years ago people read about how they sold guns to loyalist terrorists and drug dealers, but this stuff confirms what people living on the ground know: they are in it for criminal financial gain.

    That would have made a good post on Slugger, perhaps part of an investigative series and sure you don’t need to worry about libel when anonymous criminals hiding under a rock called continuity republicanism are concerned.

    You might even squeeze a satire out of it which does what it is meant to do – and raise a laugh.

    That’s why so few people are good at it.

    The above reads like something from Bebo, only with better spelling.

  • Mark McGregor

    Indeed. I tried hard to parody Storey but he is such a better parody of himself.

  • West Sider

    Indeed.

    Is this the Slugger default retort? It’s tired, to be honest.

  • Alias

    It reads more like factual statement, actually.

  • Driftwood

    Mervyn certainly is that.

  • Alias

    By the way, which state turned a blind eye to Mr Storey’s 25 million pension fund courtesy of the Northern Bank? That’s some pay-off for touts…

  • Driftwood

    What did Mervyn Storey say to merit this thread, i know he’s an idiot but surely there is nothing in the bullet points he would disagree with? Lost here.

  • Mark McGregor

    WS,

    Sure you can complain about it, insist it is persecution…blah blah and maybe Mick will care

  • Mark McGregor

    In the meantime – those stolen notes from that meeting in the Conway Mill – just who did spread them on walls etc?

  • Mark McGregor

    Tell me another Storey

  • Dixie

    Did you hear the Storey [sic] about the Big Escape from the Kesh?

    Every member of Ogra is forced to endure it as part of some sick initiation centred round endurance.

  • Rory Carr

    Spite that masquerades as satire, as in the above piss-poor attempt, only serves to illuminate the inadequacies of its originators, in this case confirmed by the mean-spirited little piece from Dixie above.

    This is the stuff of a gaggle of nasty schoolgirls bitching each other out and it is sad, very, very sad.

  • Cynic

    You would think Bobby would have more intelligence

  • Reader

    Rory Carr: in this case confirmed by the mean-spirited little piece from Dixie above.
    Rory Carr: I mean what poor chap wants to be seen sporting such a naff haircut which even the headphones do little to conceal? As for that 1950′s gaberdine raincoat – not retro, baby, just sad old git. Still, if the flabby jowls are any giveaway at least the raincoat helps to hide what must be a really fat arse.
    Dixie, you can almost guarantee to incur Rory’s displeasure if you ever criticise a loyal shinner and ex-prisoner. Anyone else is, of course, fair game.

  • West Sider

    Nah, mate.

    Not complaining about anything – unlike you’re good paranoid, fractured self, just having a laugh at the fact that there’s no laughs in your piss poor attempt at satire.

    You’re not too smart, are you?

  • West Sider

    I haven’t a fucking clue what you’re talking about here, mate. What is this latest slight against the minions of misfits now crowding out the sweaty, murky corners of the internet?

    You may be a loyalist republican dissident libertarian member of the Monday Club for all I care – and for all you reveal here – actually that seems apt.

    All I’ll say is, you’re a big daft cock and you’re dragging this site down.