Selador (or probably “Celador”) – JRR Tolkien

A bit abstract but maybe a relief from Robinson and Adams. Had this on paper but the first time I’ve found it on the net. Tolkien’s valedictory address to Oxford University in 1955. If it’s your gig enjoy – else ignore…

  • Slartibuckfast

    [b]The Fellowship Of The Wrong[/b]

    [i]In the Land of Nordor where the shadows lie[/i]

    By [b]J.R.R Tolkein Shite[/b]

    Once upon a time in a dark land devoid of all light and which was overrun by grotesque and murderous creatures, nine members of a fellowship of DUP MPs undertook a dangerous mission to destroy a mystical Agreement.

    “This Agreement has the power to turn darkness into light and to leave the land of Nordor unfit for inhuman habitation,” said their leader, Arrogant, “and we must somehow find a way to cast it into the Cracks of Doom which have been appearing all over this document.”

    The Nine met all kinds of strange beings on their quest, not the least of whom was Gerlom, a mad and twisted entity with two sides to his personality and who wanted the Agreement all to himself.

    “Nasty hunnitses, we hates them forever,” snarled Gerlom, before suddenly changing expression and offering the Nine his hand as he mumbled something about hugging Ents.

    “You can kiss my ring,” cried Sammywise Wilson, one of the Nine, to Gerlom. “There’s a picture of it in The Sunday World if you’d like to see it.”

    “Shut up,” ordered Arrogant.

    “Saruman,” whimpered Sammywise.

    “Yes, we’ll take your hand,” said Arrogant then to Gerlom, “but we have to make it look as if we’re not really friends now otherwise all the orcs who elected our fellowship will turn on us and we will be destroyed by them.”

    And Sauron it goes and goes to this very day, and nobody lived happily ever after.

    The End (of the world every week).

  • The Raven

    It’s not my gig, but I’d gladly have sat through every one of the 25 pages to hear him speak.

  • Drumlins Rock

    got so far in it Dewi but head was tired, always tried to a spot any celtic mythology creeping in Tolkiens work, but dont know norse or saxon myths to be sure of connections. It was good to read of his respect for the celtic tradition although his heart was strongly in the saxon tradition, maybe they have stronger common roots than people think.
    Surely Turgon will comment on this thread!

  • Ulster McNulty

    Thanks, great article, and Tolkien obviously rejects the notion that Ulster is British …..

    “In modern England the usage has become disastrously confused by the maleficent interference of the Government with the usual object of governments: uniformity. The misuse of British begins after the union of the crowns of England and Scotland, when in a quite unnecessary desire for a common name the English were officially deprived of their Englishry and the Welsh of their claim to be the chief inheritors of the title British.”