“That brings us neatly on to our next question..”

In the Irish Times, Newton Emerson may have had a particular target in mind, but his satirical shots could also be aimed at many a public forum..

Ringer: Would the panel disagree with me, and is there anything else each member of the panel would like to add?

Bogman: I’m afraid I have to disagree with the questioner. There is simply no place for that kind of opinion in modern Ireland and there is very little place for it in Fianna Fáil’s Ireland either, at least until we’ve had a few pints and we don’t think anyone is listening.

Grocer: I also have to disagree with the questioner, especially in the case of nurses, patients, teachers, pupils, lecturers, students, gardaí and criminals. Or should that be victims?

Looney: I disagree with the questioner. But I would go further, and disagree with the false distinction between public-sector answers and private-sector answers, which has been stoked up by right-wing panellists in the media.

Lott: What the previous answer overlooks is that the very act of asking us to agree or disagree is itself a false paradigm of the media-industrial complex, designed to set ordinary people against each other while the global corporatist hegemony blockades Cuba and fluoridates our benefits. We will never have true equality in this country until we can all agree to disagree with everyone, except the Equality Authority.

De Burger: Is there a party after this? I was told there’d be a party.

, , ,

  • John

    Obviously the soon to be unlamented Questions and Answers is the target, but it doesn’t matter. It was great stuff.

  • joeCanuck

    I disagree, John.

  • fin

    Young Paddy moved to Roscommon and bought a
    Donkey from a farmer for €100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the
    Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but
    I have some bad news, the donkey died.’

    Paddy replied,
    ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’

    The farmer said,
    ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’

    Paddy said,
    ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’

    The farmer asked,
    ‘What are ya gonna do with him?

    Paddy said,
    ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’

    The farmer said,
    ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’

    Paddy said,
    ‘Sure I can. Watch me… I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

    A month later, the farmer met up with
    Paddy and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’
    Paddy said,
    ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two euro’s a piece and made
    a profit of €898.00.’

    The farmer said,
    ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’

    Paddy said,
    ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two euro’s back.’

    Paddy now works for the Irish Government.

  • Dave

    Newton doing what he does best.

    What Q&A did best was show Irish politicians up as risible hacks. We have a penchant for electing career-break primary school teachers, publicans, solicitors, accountants, bored housewives, and the spawn of deceased career-break primary school teachers, publicans, solicitors, accountants, etc. With the exception of Senator Fergal Quinn (who wasn’t elected), I can’t think of a successful businessman among them or any one of them who has risen above the level of mediocre in his or her profession before entering politics. Brian Cowen, for example, would be busy on the midlands court circuit trying to get his clients off with some parking offence or other if we didn’t think that lump of cretinism was qualified to run a country.

  • Dublin Exile

    Albert Reynolds? ( how soon we forget…)

  • hartshill

    Indeed, Dave.

  • Gregory

    “We have a penchant for electing career-break primary school teachers, publicans, solicitors, accountants, bored housewives, and the spawn of deceased career-break primary school teachers, publicans, solicitors, accountants, etc.”

    Dave

    That lacked your usual adamancy, were you having doubts with it, was there not one wee TD there who was half-decent?

    Gregory