THIS is a story that has everything, so read on! The trial of the widow of the playboy 10th Earl of Shaftesbury (the 9th was a Belfast Lord mayor) has opened in Nice, France yesterday. The former nightclub hostess stands accused of paying her brother to kill her aristocrat husband. But did you know that the earl’s family own Lough Neagh, and had tried to sell it to the State, which refused the offer? After his body was found in undergrowth in the French Riviera in April 2005, the lough passed onto the earl’s son. Bizarrely, he died a month later – which means the biggest single source of drinking water in Northern Ireland is now apparently owned by the 12th earl – a techno DJ from New York with a residency in Ibiza. His family may have loads of death duties to pay, but people still need to drink – so will the public be picking up the tab (geddit?) next year when water charges come in?