Your move, Mr Titanic.

No doubt most people will have heard something by now on the news of film director James Cameron’s latest revelation, but as one of the sceptics referred to in this BBC report I think it’s worthwhile pointing to the very reasonable criticism of the claims at Time.com – which includes a candidate for our occasional competition for quote of the day week, “Meet the Jesuses!”.. heh.

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  • Comrade Stalin

    Damn, the bastard beat me to it. Back in 1947 I told Beria to go and find the remains of Christ, and bring him back to my secret genetic laboratory in Semipalatinsk where I would use the remains of Christ’s DNA to create genetic clones of the Son of God, and thereby create an army of Messiahs.

    Following a successful outcome in the Ukraine having used their divine powers to solve that SSR’s chronic grain shortage in the by providing copious quantities of bread and fish, they would then accompany the Red Army on the battlefield and a divinely conceived mobile hospital unit, healing and resurrecting fallen comrades and thereby spreading the message of People’s Socialism throughout the globe. Unfortunately Vorishilov, during an impromptu visit, sneezed in the vicinity of the critical experiment and destroyed the last remaining sample of Christ’s DNA, depriving Lenin’s gallant state deprived of it’s divine right to conquer the world. It’s been pretty much downhill from there.

  • Pete Baker

    Comrade

    Damn, indeed. :o)

  • susan

    Is anyone else hearing the late Kirsty MacColl’s voice singing, “Did you ever get that sinking feeling?” off “Titanic Days”?

    I refuse to believe that “crucified” was ancient vernacular slang for being really, really tired, especially if believing so would mean I would finally have to read that thread that keeps popping up about whether or not some former Irish TImes editor is a direct descendant of Jesus.

  • wild turkey

    Have they found the body?

    Looks like easter is cancelled this year

    this one has even more potential than Chariots of the Gods by Eric VonDamnAgain

  • Pete Baker

    “this one has even more potential than Chariots of the Gods by Eric VonDamnAgain”

    Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

    Personally, I’m thinking ‘Hitler diaries’..

  • Plum Duff

    Well, the way I heard the story was that Cameron’s assistant was in the middle of asking him a question as to who might have been buried in the cave while Cameron was moving the large topstone. Just then he slipped and the stone fell on his foot.

    ‘JEE-ZIZ Christ’, he screamed.

    ‘All right’, the underling trembled, ‘if you’re *THAT* convinced, it must be true’.

  • Did you know that (deep breath) because Canadian Radio Broadcast authorities classify Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’ from the movie Titanic, as ‘American’ (because it was recorded / produced there), and there are rules about the minimum amount of Canadian music to be played every hour, it is a song played far more frequently in Ireland where the same rules apply, and the Davy Spillane solo in the middle qualifies it as Irish? (Researching an I-Hate-RTE-And-The-BCI rant for my blog right now)

    Moving on. So, if Cameron is right, does that mean that all this Christianity nonsense can be dropped and we can all be friends under the Shamrock and Ireland’s Call? Papism being defunct, there being no God (thank you Neitzsche) to save the Queen, and she having no Church, surely Big Ian and Gerry would embrace and laugh about the silliness?

    And aren’t we all getting very blasphemous this evening. Makes me wonder all the more about poor Kareem.

  • dammit, I cannot make links work.

    [that should fix it – edited moderator]

  • Pete Baker

    AnthonyB

    What do you mean getting very blasphemous?

    I’ve always been very blasphemous. ;op

  • One could say blasphemy is kind of a religion to you.

    Say it ain’t so!!!

  • Pete Baker

    Pass. :op

  • susan

    Nice theory, AnthonyB, but if Easter is declared null and void, then Good Friday is declared null and void. If Good Friday Agreement is declared null and void, ….well, I don’t know what that means, you’d best ask Mr. Link-tastic.

  • Pete Baker

    Well.. we’d still have the Belfast Agreement, susan..

  • susan

    Not a single link. I feel oddly let down.

  • Pete Baker

    How’s this..

    The Belfast Agreement

    :o)

  • If only there was a way to prove the official Church teachings this kind of thing would be laughed out of hand.

    Because the official story is not based on historical fact, rather faith, any new revelations can be considered alongside the official account.

    Other than a man named Jesus lived there is very little info in the public domain to back up the Jesus story.

    I am sure there must be concrete evidence buried deep within the Christian church basement that will prove or disprove the official account of the life of Jesus.

    As the masses have been educated they demand more info and solid reasoning to support the official account of Jesus, they want to promote Jesus but need more facts to support the Bible.

    Without which the official Catholic/Anglican church is in danger of becoming regarded as the “Fox News” of Christianity.

  • Pete Baker

    Taking it waaaayyy too seriously, Art?

    Possibly. ;op

  • Yoda

    This thread makes the baby Jesus cry and the big Jesus spin in his grave.

  • susan

    That link’s no good, Pete. You were just going through the motions. :o)

    Yoda, the Baby Jesus doesn’t post here anymore.

    Art, I can’t speak for Anglicans but I don’t think Catholics are half as hung up on “proof” as you make out. For example, I’ve never known my father to miss Mass in his life, but the only time he’s ever mentioned the Bible to me was to quote “Porgy and Bess”: “The things you are liable to read in the Bible, they aint necessarily so.”

  • yoda

    Say it aint so!

    In other news, Lloyd Webber has decided to rework one of his most famous musicals in the light of Cameron’s findings. Working title: Jesuses Christs Superstars.

    Apparently Cameron knew it was Jesus’ tomb because “I’ll be back” was chiselled into it.

  • BeardyBoy

    Sheep as mutton.

    “JERUSALEM (AP) — Archaeologists and clergymen in the Holy Land derided claims in a new documentary produced by the Oscar-winning director James Cameron that contradict major Christian tenets.

    “The Lost Tomb of Christ,” which the Discovery Channel will run on March 4, argues that 10 ancient ossuaries — small caskets used to store bones — discovered in a suburb of Jerusalem in 1980 may have contained the bones of Jesus and his family, according to a press release issued by the Discovery Channel.

    One of the caskets even bears the title, “Judah, son of Jesus,” hinting that Jesus may have had a son. And the very fact that Jesus had an ossuary would contradict the Christian belief that he was resurrected and ascended to heaven.

    Most Christians believe Jesus’ body spent three days at the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem’s Old City. The burial site identified in Cameron’s documentary is in a southern Jerusalem neighborhood nowhere near the church.

    In 1996, when the BBC aired a short documentary on the same subject, archaeologists challenged the claims. Amos Kloner, the first archaeologist to examine the site, said the idea fails to hold up by archaeological standards but makes for profitable television.

    “They just want to get money for it,” Kloner said.”

    This story has been doing the rounds for a long time, the Israeli archeologists say it is fake.

  • Comrade Stalin

    Christ is, of course, part of a grand satirical delusion that went too far, a diversion made up by witty people to make a point. Everyone knows that the world was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. All Hail his noodliness.

  • Greágóir O’ Frainclín

    Remains of Christ found? So that means we can clone Jesus? So much for transubstantiation!

    Obviously Cameron is somewhat cashing in on the ‘Da Vinci Code’ hype.
    A much better read for all and sundry is Richard Dawkins ‘The God Delusion’.
    Kinda an overdo wake-up call for most.

    Religion is for Slaves!

  • Yoda, Big Jesus isn’t in his grave. It’s an ossuary.

    Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but (shoulder-awkwardness aside) I can picture someone spinning in a grave (coffin). Spinning in an ossuary is more of a challenge.

    Or else he ascended into Heaven, in which case there wasn’t a grave anyway.

    Someone has to point out that we’re really picking over the bones of this one.

  • JG

    Oh Celine Dion Where did it all go wrong?

    Pour Que Tu M’aime Encore is regarded as French for French radio purposes and it got 9 193 plays in the year of its release.

    The rest of french stuff is not up to the standard of Air of Daft Punk.

  • susan

    oh, I am absolutely marinated with guilt now. It’s not that I think Jesus or Christianity is worthless or a joke, I don’t. After all, blind faith in scientific progress has arguably brought us closer to the brink of extinction than religion, and there’s the whole Hamlet thingamabob of “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

    A lot of what Jesus said can bring us peace, peace in our hearts and our homes and beyond, when we ever bother to take it all in. THe whole notion of the beggar outside the gates being worth as much, are quite probably more, than the king in the palace was a great and important idea to get out there. What I was reacting to was the notion that what all of that is worth is seriously dependent on anything James Cameron might have to tell us. It’s like worrying about the marine biology implications of the story of Jonah and the whale.

    Alright, that was excrutiating to try to articulate. On the plus side, the ability to equally embarrass myself off-line today now appears quite small.

  • Did you know that Cameron also did the screenplay for Rambo II: First Blood and The Abyss? And he thinks he’ll find redemption by denying Jesus and perpetuating the rumour about Jesus and Mary Magdalene?

    This boy is going straight to Hell. If there is one. Or else he’s food for worms (maintaining the Shakespeare thing).

  • Yoda

    AnthonyB,

    The bones have been buried; ergo, grave. 😛

    Oh, and:

    James Cameron.

    Jesus Christ.

    Jes’ sayin’.

  • I can never believe anything Mr Cameron claims after seeing his film about a boat called Titanic that sinks in the end with the loss of many lifes.

    This story has as much truth as the Titanic story.

    I am sure Jesus is proud of the way the Catholic/Anglican churches have conducted themselves since his demise 2000 years ago.

    They have followed the teachings of Christ, you know sharing their wealth, treating others as one would want to be treated. Never indulged in any sins, been a real saviour for people through many generations.

    If we all started to act like the Catholic/Anglican churches then the world would be a better place!

    Perhaps we should get rid of the elected leaders and replace them with the Church leaders because church leaders are so holy and they really have the interests of the poor people at heart.

    If the poor give the little money they have to the church they will be rewarded for that, Church leaders tell us that, so it must be true.

    I wish Jesus would come back so he could go on a fund raising tour for the Catholic/Anglican church.

    They really need all the money they can get hold of to continue their good work.

  • Yoda,

    James Francis Cameron

    Jesus F Christ. Know where I’m goin’?

    Nested bloody tags. I bet I got at least one wrong.

    [too many spaces around the ‘=’ – moderator]

  • Told you.

  • susan

    Furthermore, James Cameron spelled backwards is……SemaJ Noremac.

    You were right, AnthonyB. If Cameron is guilty of Rambo II, not even the Druids will touch him.

  • Yoda

    James Cameron also spells Menace Majors.

    Behold the encrypted holy text!

  • circles

    Anybody have any ideas how we can get “et in Arcadia ego” involved in this discussion…..
    just wondering