Is That A Gun In Your Pocket, Hillary, Or Are You Happy To See Me?

Can’t ya just see it, Senator McCain, Hillary and Obama torn to pieces by sharks………..

Open Water, a Dogma 95 inspired movie no doubt familiar to those of you on the lithium diet, casts a married couple in SCUBA gear adrift in the Caribbean after their SCUBA party boat sails away following a flawed count. The movie is a very personal portrayal of the couple in extremis as they go through the five phases of death ending with acceptance.

The movie has been pitched as Blair Witch meets Jaws. Both characters die through drowning or are eaten alive by sharks. They disappear without a trace, never to be seen again.

Except in Hollywood.

There is a sequel.

Absurd is as Absurd does. Also greenlighted is a nasty wee film noir featuring Hillary and Obama and the other leg of that eternal triangle, Other Peoples MoneyIt is a tragedy where all those Hollywood causes, the meat & potatoes of conservative talk radio, play out on the Shakespearean stage and where a character’s only exit is in death.

Enter, stage left, Terry McAuliffe, the Clinton campaign manager, as the traveling priest selling indulgences for the Clinton campaign. The lad had sold enough nails from The One True Cross to shoe all the horses west of Dubuque.

Enter, stage right, David Geffen, the morose Prince of Malibu. He is the everyman Hollywood Liberal for the FOX-Limbaugh-Drudge triangle, a nice gay, Jewish lad from Brooklyn who once was engaged to Cher, was a past rabid Clinton devotee and the man who brought us everything from Jackson Browne to Tom Cruise’s cute little butt in Risky Business. All is not well in Malibu, though, for Prince Geffen was smitten (as were a great many) over the pardon made by Hillary’s husband of Marc Rich, an alleged onerous blackguard convicted of racketeering and tax evasion who also renounced his US Citizenship for Spanish in order to flee the long arm of the law to Switzerland (hmm….). Yer man Geffen had another candidate in mind, Leonard Peltier , a prisoner of our the last Indian War and part of those liberal and Hollywood causes which never die.

Geffen went public with Maureen Dowd (bring lotsa money) and Tinseltown gave birth to Donnybrook Fair meets Celebrity Poker. Geffen opened with Peltier; McAuliffe saw him by channeling Dubya, “You are either with us, or you’re against us”; and Geffen raised with all those Crimes of Bill, from the Lincoln Bedroom to Monica, that disappointed liberals blame for the rise of Bush. The pot is still unclaimed

A tale told by an idiot signifying nothing, a true tragedy of taste or just a lull in the Anna Nicole feeding frenzy? Guess again Sluggiepoos, this is how we determine who gets the launch codes.

  • ffs

    I had this on my list of films to watch. Thanks for completely ruining the plot and ending you idiot.

  • Dread Cthulhu

    SJ: “A tale told by an idiot signifying nothing, a true tragedy of taste or just a lull in the Anna Nicole feeding frenzy? Guess again Sluggiepoos, this is how we determine who gets the launch codes. ”

    Nah, its just another day in Hollyweirdland. Famous names, a little venom, a bit of back-biting… Would be good Page Six fodder, ‘cept there’s you’ve got politicos in the stars.

    Just to prove Newton was right, there was an equal but opposite reaction on the East Coast, with Chris Ruddy and Richard Mellon Scaife deciding that Bubba Gump was “a pretty good president” and that the shrill shill of a wife of his was “electable.”

  • Thanks for completely ruining the plot and ending you idiot

    Pity, you’ve been so busy in the four years since its release.

    Just to put our Culture Vulture up to date:

    Rosebud is the sled
    Dil is really a guy
    Verbal is Keyser
    and the Wizard is really an old guy hiding behind a curtain.

  • merrie

    Geffen said: “is there anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton?”

    Does that mean that Obama is not ambitious at all?

    I thought ambition was essential if you are running in politics.

  • Rory

    Well done, Smilin’ Jim! Most guys are too embarrassed to admit they’ve even watched The Wizard of Oz, never mind remembering the details, for fear they’ll be suspected of being gay.

    Now what about letting us know how the Bible ends for all those guys who bunked off Sunday School to play pitch ‘n’ toss round the back of the bus station?

  • dodrade

    Adrift is not a true sequel to Open Water. The Open Water 2 tag has been added in some countries because of the plot similarities and as a marketing ploy.

  • Smilin’ Jim

    “Adrift is not a true sequel to Open Water”

    And it is also the antithesis of Dogme 95 but that’s Show Biz.

    Think Fast Times At Ridgemont High meets Jaws

    “a marketing ploy.”

    Possibly the theme of my entire post.

  • Yoda

    Rosebud is the sled

    You bastard!

  • “Now what about letting us know how the Bible ends for all those guys who bunked off Sunday School to play pitch ‘n’ toss round the back of the bus station?”

    Verily I say unto you, Brother Rory as I read from the Gospel of Father Jim:

    Tis Abomination!!! Cast not thy lot with Hollywood, that Red-Painted Whore of Babylon, that silken Concubine of the Antichrist, that fork-tongued, lewd Slut of Satan and Seamstress of that Web of Deceit cast by Him who dwells amongst the Hellfire Below.

    Party on.