Well, since my baby left me….

I’ve found a new place to dwell. Actually, I’ve just discovered a new place to live. The garden needs a lot of work on it – all overgrown with lots of weeds and bramble. Which made me wonder…(oh dear), if sluggerers could design a garden based on Northern Ireland, what would it contain and look like? Feel free to plant a few metaphors and even euphemisms…

I’ll see you in the Mournes soon.

  • none of your business

    You are sascha baron cohen AICM £5…

    *woops” wrong board…

    Please.. this guy has to be a troll..

  • Crataegus

    On the theme Paradise Lost

  • POL

    Wee Sammy wilson and Reg Empty could be the gnomes.

  • ozzy

    Why not be boring and have just grass, loads of buttercups and daisys as well as shamrock. Gnomes not a good idea but you need some wee folk. They could do the garden for you as well. Low maintenance garden!!!!!

  • fearganainm

    you’ll have to allow for the fact that your neighbour will want to take a fifth of it.

  • circles

    Oh I’d just go for the traditional every day number. Rip out the grass and flagstone the whole thing. Smash a bottle or two just slightly off centre and give the dogs a bit of time to fertilise the moss and grass in the cracks.
    Oh yes – I think that should do it.

    I’ll add Reg, Sammy and Marty McG as the gnomes – but only if they are chipped and the paint is peeling off.

  • suil eile

    Well, you could have the native plants all over the garden and then put in some thorns weeds and ivy that will take over all the good soil. The native plants would be sent packing to hell or to hills and barren parts of your garden but because they’re native and very hardy and well used to abuse they would survive and even start to regain that which dispossessed them. The thorns, weeds and ivy should then be dug up and thrown out if they refused to share the garden. Hopefully these weeds and negatives will see ‘scent’ and before you know it your garden will bloom once again!

  • Greenflag

    The badly constructed compost bin that was the old NI needs reconstruction . The new bin needs to have a better fence between those who wish to continue to decompose in the UK and those who would much rather decompose in the garden of Ireland .

  • Yokel

    Talking gnomes that utter the following phrases:

    ‘They are getting more than we do’

    ‘It’s a securocrat plot’

    ‘Its the government’s other sides fault’

    ‘I do condemn it but..’

    ‘The government needs to intervene’